Help! Billy's Life/Med/Funeral Fund

Kennesaw, Georgia 2007
How We Met and Our Lives Together
We are Billy and Bobbie Reynolds.  We met in an AA meeting nine years ago in February 2007. 

It was my return to my beloved AA HOW Place (meeting hall) in Woodstock, Georgia.  I was a mainstay at HOW for almost two decades and then I moved to another town and different AA meetings.  It felt better than good to be back to my AA home.

That day happened to be the date of Billy's third-year of sobriety and his AA birthday celebration.  I saw how everyone respected and loved Billy.  That kind of trust for a person does not come easy from sometimes hardened and world-weary recovery folks.  I could tell he was one of the good guys. 

I took one look at his face and knew from the emotional pain written on it that he had been through tragedy and heartache and knew a thing or two about what mattered in life. 

His wrinkled puppy-dog face was endearing to me and I deeply respected the pain I saw in those lines.  His Carolina-blue eyes knocked my socks off.

Like Billy, I, too, experienced a difficult, pain-filled life..  I've noticed that when broken hearts live on the inside, it sometimes shows on the outside somewhere in some way.  Each of ours showed in different ways.

We both had broken hearts and lives that were being salvaged, healed, and brightened through the mighty power of the AA phenomenon. 

That day in February, I decided that I was going to find out for myself who this Billy Reynolds was for real.  We went to lunch that day and that was it.  We moved-in together in March 2007 and got married on a Florida beach in July 2007. 

So much for taking our time.

What a life we had then.  We were both in good health.  I brought a house full of furniture and appliances and a paid for car.  Billy brought furniture, tools, and his truck, so we were fully equipped and functional.   Not long after, Billy sold his truck, took over my car, and bought me a new 2007 Chevy.

We went to our AA meetings.  We helped others inside and outside AA every way we could.  We were good neighbors and honest people.   We lent a helping hand and open hearts to everyone.

We trusted in a Power Greater Than Ourselves for guidance  and continued sobriety.  Each of us had learned the hard way that without time in sobriety away from the alcohol-and-drug-monkeys on our backs, we would die.  Everyday it was always a life and death choice.   We each chose life and still do.

Aside from a constant, ever-increasing backache for me, and Billy becoming more and more tired and less able to do as much as he wanted, we had very few real problems.

We worked hard and loved each other.  I was teaching in the local school.  Being home-bodies, we enjoyed staying home, watching movies, cooking, piddling around the house, and living our lives together. 

We were devoted friends,  passionate lovers, great confidants, companions, and we always had each other's back no matter what.

Connor and Pop
We welcomed weekly visits of our little baby grandson named Connor, born to my daughter and her husband in December 2008.  What indescribable joy he has brought into our lives. 

We were constant companions with him back then and will constantly forever love him dearly.  He is a funny, too-smart-for-his-little-britches, loving little boy who we both helplessly adore.  Billy could not love him more if Connor were his own flesh and blood.

As Connor grew, we found lots of things he liked to do.  When he was two and three, we'd have snack picnics in the backyard, with me serving little Connor's favorites:  fat white grapes, ice cold chocolate milk, and crispy corn chips.  We bought him a childsize shovel and rake and he would help his "Pop" (Billy) work in the back yard. 

We had real tea parties with little cups, saucers, spoons, sugar and cream pitchers, and teapot with Pop pouring tea for his boy.  We played with Legos and tiny cars and watched cartoons.  We put magnet numbers and letters on the front of the refrigerator and played at spelling and adding. 

We took him out of a high chair at the dinner table and into a booster seat in a real chair when we ate, always together.  Connor was so excited about sitting in a grown-up chair to eat.

He would climb into his Pop's big, old pickup truck that Billy bought from a close friend for $500.   Connor would hitch a lift up into the truck and put his cars, trucks and other treasures into the long wide truck bed.  It was a huge playground for that little stinker. 

For Connor, Billy would park it in the backyard where we all loved to hangout and the truck's cab was kind of like Connor's secret cave.

Pop would open the little window between the cab and the back and Connor would climb through it like a little monkey as he played with his toys.  Billy turned on the radio and played good ole rock and roll. 

Sometimes they'd go for a ride down the street and back.  Some of Connor's favorite times were spent in that old truck with his Pop.  We bought him a wagon and we'd pull him up and down the street while he laughed and laughed out loud with delight.

We got truly spoiled seeing Connor all the time.  We loved spoiling him.  He lived in Marietta when we lived in Kennesaw, just a few short miles apart.  It was so easy. 

Now that they live in Florida and we've moved to another state as well, we haven't seen our boy in over two years.  Our hearts ache for him and he has cried to see us.  I want to hold him again.  We miss him so much it hurts.

Bobbie and Billy
Billy would fuss over our silly little grill outside to cook steaks or whatever we splurged for a once or twice a month.   I'd put together homemade augratin potatoes (yum) and fresh asparagus or some other delectables. 

I'd make homemade peach cobbler or chocolate cake.  I cooked a lot.  We ate a lot of beans, potatoes, and vegetables--healthy food.  We loved our life together. 

Our date night was Friday night.  He'd go to his 6:00 pm Men's AA Meeting at HOW and afterwards swing by the "Johnny's Pizza" place in Kennesaw to pickup the world's best, and our favorite, pizza.

In the world's terms, we had little money or property.  However, we actually had it all.  We were grateful for what we had.  We rented a house.  We paid on two vehicles.  We did the usual.  But, boy did we live.

Billy's History with Guillian-Barre:  He was paralyzed
Back in the 1980s, long before I met him, Billy was afflicted by the Gilliain-Barre Syndrome.  The disease is a crippling, devastating cousin of Polio.  It stripped-off the covering of all the nerve endings over his entire upper and lower body.  It caused his muscles in his hands and lower legs to become atrophed and crippled. 

He was paralyzed.  Plus, the doctors moved him in sheets so they didn't touch him because his pain level all over his entire body was unbearable.  

They told him he'd never walk again.

They didn't know Billy.

He was in the hospital for 10 months, 6 months on a respirator, and in intensive care for 5 months.  He ended up in Shepherd's Spinal Center in Atlanta, Georgia where he pushed with his legendary stubborn determination to learn to walk again.

 He learned to walk again with the help of leg braces, which he still wears today.  Ever the overcomer and brave soul that he still is today, none of that stopped him. 

I have never seen him ashamed of the braces.  But, he was devastated that he couldn't ride his beloved Harleys anymore, not even a bicycle.  He still longs for his motorcycles  with the deepest regret.

Billy worked at a cement plant in south Georgia.  He worked at the Pabst Brewing Company for several years.  After he was crippled, he worked at the Publix, Inc. as a bagger in Kennesaw, Georgia for several years .

He loved working at Publix.  He loved the kids, the work itself that kept him busy, and the environment, all of which helped him thrive.  This was when I met him and became his wife.

Moving to the Mountains:
Move Number One
Billy was robust and worked hard.  We both wanted to move to the mountains and a colder climate.  Being native Georgians, we had each become really sick of the never ending heat and humidity.  We moved to North Georgia in August 2013.

In October 2013, my back went completely crazy with pain.  I endured the pain for about 4 years and minimized its importance.  Then, all of a sudden, I couldn't walk or even move my right leg without screaming in agony. 

The nerves had gotten tangled-up on some arthritic boney "spikes" that formed inside my spine. 

I had emergency neurosurgery on my spine on October 10, 2013. I had metal staples in my back. I was warned not to lift, bend, twist, and not move around too much for several weeks. 

On November 3, 2013, about 3 weeks later, Billy had a heart attack and had to have emergency open-heart surgery with five bypasses. 

Since we had just moved 2 months before, we knew nobody. We had to pay people for help.  Our money was already going fast, so I took care of Billy myself.  I got him a recliner so he could sit-up and sleep as he was advised to do.  He was very frail and physically unstable. 

Little did we know, this was just the beginning of our troubles and misfortunes.  Neither of us could work.  We used-up every resource we had available to us both in living there as we recuperated. 

Move Number Two
By March 2014, we lost everything and became insolvent.  It had only been 5 months since our operations and 7 months since we moved there. 

We lost the house we were living in in north Georgia and moved to another state to live in a house offered to us at a reduced rent.  We were greatly thankful and aware of God's Providence on our behalf.

Move Number Three
We lived in a little house in the country in the woods.  We saw three snows the first two months we were there.  We became attached to the little neighborhood and its native residents.  They are lovely, honest, and hard-working people.

Without warning or further ado, we lost our lease in October 2015 and had to move again.  However, this time Billy was right in the middle of radiation and chemotherapy treatments. 

He was sick as a dog, skinny as a rail, had no energy nor strength.  He had a difficult time keeping his balan ce and walking.  He couldn't eat since the operations on his throat .  He couldn't sleep.  He couldn't help me with the moving at all...no packing, no nothing.  He was simply not able. 

God, what a trauma that was for both of us.  We had to pack all our belongings and move in the middle of Winter, as well as during Billy's cancer treatments at the hospital.  It was absolutely unbelievable.

In addition to all that, Billy was still recovering from the six surgeries he had thankfully lived through just weeks or months before this terrible move -- days and days in the hospital being operated on in that very same year, 2015.

We asked the landlord to allow us to stay a few months longer, maybe until Spring, but no.  So, on December 3, 2015, we moved to a house in the same city, just far enough away to cost a whole bunch of money to get there. 

Meantime, while packing and planning a move, we were making trips to the hospital constantly.  Sometimes we  drove there five days a week for radiation, chemo, doctors, tests, etc.  Each time was a day trip for two reasons, chemo treatments took about  five hours each, and the driving trip itself took five hours round trip.  We were exhausted beyond belief. 

We somehow got moved and we spent all the money we were saving.  We were forced to hire people to move us, we had to get utilities cut-on and all the other out-of-pocket expenses incurred by the moving of a household. 

You name it, we did it.  Quirky things happened as a result of living in the woods.  We needed to buy landline phone hookups since our cell phones did not work in the new house. 

It costs a lot of money to move, no matter what.

Cancer Has It's Way With Billy
Billy originally got sick in October 2014 and we found out he has squamous cell carcinoma in his throat and neck.  He had cancer.  He's been fighting this cancer for a year and seven months to date. 

In 2015, he had six operations, 43 radiation treatments and chemotherapy treatments once a week during the radiation treatments.  He has truly suffered.  He has never hesitated to man-up and face it with integrity and courage.  I have been with him every step of the way.  I will stay the course.

During some of those times, the hospital gave us a reduced rate.  But $200K at a reduced rate is still six figures. 

After all the surgeries and treatments, we thought we had it kicked.  But, test results proved us wrong.  We found out that Billy has terminal cancer now.  There are no treatments that will cure him.  The oncologists said that he has 6-to-12 months to live.

The last PET scan showed that the neck and throat cancer has metastisized and spread to other parts of Billy's body.  It has settled in his lungs, right leg bone, two spots on his spine, and it remains in his throat.

He has started a more aggressive form of chemotherapy that might keep the cancer at bay.  But, it will not stop the cancer no matter what.  It will continue to grow, but maybe at a slower rate.   Either way, it is terminal.

This weekly chemotherapy he's getting now makes him terribly horribly phsicallly sick.  He has high fevers, vomiting, cold chills, almost untreatable body pain.  He never stops hurting physically. 

He doesn't cry.  I do.  I try to keep it from him but he always knows.

He still can't eat by mouth because of all the throat surgery in which, among other things, they removed part of the muscles that encircle the throat and allow him to swallow.  They also removed half of his tongue so that now his speech is slurred and sometimes hard to understand.

He has a surgically implanted feeding tube inserted into his stomach straight through his belly and his food is special liquid from cans.  The horrors never seem to stop.  Sometimes, he experiences a total loss of bodily functions and frequent falling.  Ten days ago he broke his arm and now can't bathe, clothe, or feed himself. 

He has lost down to 133 pounds.  His body is a shell of what it used to be.  His mind is intact so that he feels extremely sad and melancholy about all the things I have to do for him.  He feels like a loser, which, of course, he is not.

The bottom line is this:  we have absolutely nothing left.  All of our savings, each of our IRAs, anything and everything we had in money and property are used-up and gone. 

We are deeply in debt with doctors, laboratory fees, hospitals, surgeries, tests, radiation, chemotherapy, three PET Scans so far (approximately $6K+ each), CTs, constant blood tests,  x-rays, etc, etc.  The list is endless. 

One prescription last week cost $973.63.  Needless to say, we laughed and declined it.   They routinely cost anywhere from $345 and lower.  We skip the ridiculous, out-of-sight priced meds and move on.  We ask for other drugs that might do the same, but some of them are new and better working.  It's outrageous what medicine costs today, especially the newer, better drugs.

We are embarassed, ashamed to ask. but we need help.  Desperately.  Anything you can donate to help will be truly appreciated. 

We want to see our little Connor.  We saw him last when he was 5-years-old.  Now, he's seven and we've missed an entire two years of being with him in person. 

In spite of being in constant pain, if Billy's physical strength holds up enough, he's never flown in a plane so he'd like to fly somewhere once, he's always wanted to see Niagara Falls (his first pick) or the Grand Canyon (2nd pick).   We'd like to go to a nice hotel also for one or two nights.

We need to pay some medical bills.  We need help.  We are now living on each of our Social Security checks, which is basically nothing in today's world.  Certainly, it is not what we were promised when we started working and paying it  when we were kids starting out in the world (I've been paying since I was 14 y.o.-- I lied about my age to get a job.) 

We need help in order to continue the hospitals, doctors, specialists, emergency rooms, special liquid food that Billy "eats" through his feeding tube, to attempt to prolong his life, to pay the rent, to buy propane for heat, for everything it takes to live today. Unfortunately, we do need help.

When my Billy is gone, I will need money to find a cheaper place to rent and for expenses to move what I don't get rid of in the house.  I will need the first and last months' rents, utilities. 

With Billy gone, I will lose my Social Security when I accept his.   The government  doesn't allow widowed wives or husbands to keep their own Social Security as well as the Soc. Sec. of their deceaased spouse.  My income will be cut by more than a third.  Never mind that we each paid for it separately our whole working lives.

We've sold everything  of ours that we could sell during these past events.  Everything.  We kept a small amount of furniture and creature comforts, but not much.   All of that money has been used.

We still have the kitchen table and 4 chairs, a couch, his recliner where he rests, a large desk that we share, a bed,  two 32" TVs, one 18" TV, my kitchen cooking tools, washer/dryer, two small chest of drawers, six small lamps, two cars, two chairs that need repaired and reupholstered seats to be usable (but I love them and can't bear to let them go), his laptop and mine (which are both obsolete--old).  We're down to basics and that's fine.

We've downsized so many times over the last three years that I don't even want to count what we've lost.  I hate it when i think about what all is gone.  Thank goodness I refused to sell our washer and dryer and that I decided not to get a title loan on my 9 y.o. car.

We have two vehicles.  One is the 2007 Chevy and the other is a 2008 Suzuki, bought used.  We plan to sell one of them soon, but the bank still owns the Suzuki so we will be lucky to get anything out of it after paying-off the loan.  The other car has damage where we had a small collsion.  On the other hand, it'll be excellent to get rid of that payment.

Billy has good days and bad days.  He and I never know how he's going to feel from one day to the next.  Some days he is incapable of doing anything except rest.

We are both very terribly sad and grief-stricken.  I'm still in denial, but sometimes I get a glimpse of the truth.  It sickens and terrifies me.  My Billy, my sweetheart will be gone from the Earth and I will be without him. 

We had far too few years together before the illness, pain, and our losses started.  I wish we had 20 more years together. 

But, I will say this: those few seven years we had before all this illness, and emotional and physical pain started full-force were the best years I've ever known.  We had so much fun together.

Thank you, dear Billy, for all of it.   BUT...
During those seven years, Baby, we Rocked the Kasba. 

We both want to thank you for giving to us.  We know how life can be and how hard it is sometimes to simply live.  We are truly grateful for you and thank you also for reading the story of our life together.  Believe it or not, it is abbreviated.

Although it may seem long to read, i wanted you to know who we are, where we came from, and where we are now.

How We Will Spend This Money
We will pay some of the mountain of medical bills we have.  I don't know if it would ever be possible to raise enough to pay them all. 

We will also do absolutely as many of the things, as I outlined them earlier, that Billy is physically able to do.  I will use the money that I will need to help me get resettled somewhere less expensive.  Maybe I could even move closer to Connor and my daughter, but that is very questionable because south Florida is so expensive.

Most importantly, Billy has some things he really wants to do with his time left here.  It is not long, but if he can do it physically we hope to do it all.  He'd like to see Niagara Falls and/or the Grand Canyon.  He wants to go to the Smithsonian for two or three days.  We'd like to stay in a five-star hotel for one night just to see what it's like.  He's never flown and would like to fly in a plane one time. 

Mostly, we'd like to visit our Grandson, Connor, and maybe take him to the ocean, I'd like to eat fresh seafood and maybe walk down a boardwalk (if they still exist) and eat hotdogs and popcorn like i used to when i was a kid. 

Billy wants to teach Connor how to fish from the pier.  Maybe we could take him to Sea World or do something that Connor will always remember about his Pop.  We have no idea how we're going to tell him about Billy.

The very first thing we're going to do is see Connor.   Second will be to go somewhere just the two of us, maybe that nice hotel.

Billy now has advanced cancer in his lungs.  He coughs a lot.  His breathing is dificult and sometimes labored.  During our rush to move, we ended-up in a house without central air conditioning. 

We will need to buy three window A/C units so that Billy can breathe better and rest better.  I can't believe we're in the South without air-conditioning.  We really messed-up on that one. 

During the push to move so unexpectedly during such a medically horrible time for Billy and during the cold Winter, I forgot to ask about the A/C and assumed.  It wasn't our new landlord's fault, that i didnt hear it, it was mine.

We need unit for the kitchen, one for the bedroom, and one for the living room area.  At some point, Billy will become bedridden and will be sleeping and living in a hospice hospital bed in the living room.  That will work-out well because the room is basically empty.

We have already signed-up with the paliative care phase of living and dying.  Sooner or later, Billy will need Hospice care.  He does not want to die in an institution.  No problem.  Billy will be home with me, wherever I am.  I will take care of him and he will die at home as he has requested.

These are high hopes for us to do these things since Billy's condition is unpredictable.  But, we sure want to try.  With our whole hearts we thank you for any help you can give, including kind thoughts.  We want you to know that your help will be used wisely and prudently.

For you, we wish that you would receive every true desire of your heart and that you will live an abundant and satisfied life.  


Thank you.  Bobbie and Billy

p.s. If I can figure out how to do it, I will post some pictures of him during treatments.  Ah ha:               




One emergency room visit after BIlly broke his right arm.