Emily's NEDA Conference Fund
$700 of $600 goal
From my recovery blog, January 12, 2012
"A key motivation that keeps me going is the dream of someday helping others who struggle with low self-esteem and eating disorders. I'm not sure how I'll be able to do that, but I know that the passion and desire is within me. I also know that the first step is to make myself a healthy person."
July 8, 2012
"I want to help others, particularly those struggling with eating disorders. I don't know how yet, but I'm going to someday. Step one, I know, is recovery. Damn it."
Because I didn't know how...
December 3, 2011
"I can't seem to keep myself from purging for more than a day. I try and try to figure out what makes me do it, but I can't figure it out. I purge on days that I restrict and on days that I attempt to challenge myself with food. I purge on stressful days and on relaxed days. I purge when I feel skinny and when I feel fat. I purge when I hate myself and when I think that I like myself. I can't figure it out!"
December 3, 2011
"I've lived with ED for more of my life than I've lived without it, and I don't even remember what life was like before ED. I don't really know what I'm supposed to be like if I don't have an eating disorder."
October 18, 2011
"Today was rough, even though nothing bad actually happened. The voices were all in my head, and they were so loud today, dragging me down with every step. I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from everyone. Nothing made me feel better, not even my thinness. Feeling the tips of my hipbones and the bagginess of my pants brought me no comfort today. I felt empty and alone."
But holy crap I finally reached recovery in 2014, and damn does life feel different! Although I now have the ability to feel happiness and know my identity outside of my eating disorder, I promised myself that I would never forget the 10 million females and 1 million males in the United States who are still imprisoned by their eating disorders.
When I was struggling in recovery, I just wanted to know that recovery was even possible. I wanted anyone who had had reached full recovery to speak up and tell me that it was possible so that I had a reason to keep trying. I wanted them to tell me how they did it. So that's why I'm going to the NEDA conference.