Medical Help for My Dad
Donation protected
I want to preface this by saying my dad is someone who never asks for help. This is hard for me to share because I am just like my dad. We don't like to ask for help. We don't like to burden people. We don't like to admit our weaknesses.
My dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer earlier this year. At that time, they also discovered his liver was in really bad shape. The only reason I know this is because I obtained a copy of my dad's medical records and went through it all. He never told us the extent because again, my dad doesn't like to burden people. This is the reason for this campaign. My dad is now in liver failure. He was admitted to the hospital a few weeks ago because, after checking himself into rehab for alcoholism, they said he was too sick. When I went to visit him in the ICU I had to double check I had the right room. He was in awful shape. He wasn't conscious and hadn't been all day. The doctor was not confident his condition would improve at all. She told us there is a 60% chance he will be gone within 90 days. That is the reality we are dealing with. Thankfully, he regained consciousness, and in a few days was stable enough to be moved out of the ICU and then discharged home. He joked to me that they threw him out as soon as they could.
Among the tens of thousands he already owes in medical bills, there is now the cost of his ongoing care. It is an urgent necessity. His insurance is BlueCross BlueShield and they do not cover any post-hospital therapy or rehab. His doctor confided in me that his insurance sucks and he did all he could do to get them to help my dad. This is our country's healthcare system. Where doctors, who should be focused on the medical care of their patients, are forced to deal with the administrative nightmare of providing that care. My dad is 64. A year away from when Social Security would fully kick in.
My dad is a veteran who, all my life, got up between 4-5 in the morning and went to work. He also was my coach in just about every sport I played. He was always a functioning alcoholic until life just got too tough to maintain the functioning part. On top of this, there is my mom. When I originally came back up north to help my family it was because of her health. She is still recovering from a blood clot, has neuropathy, and needs a cane or wheelchair to get around. She was in and out of critical care over the last year. She herself has three nurses who come in to help her weekly. She is 71 and thankfully receives social security benefits. My mom is also an alcoholic who still drinks.
Alcoholism runs in my family on both sides. And it's a shameful disease. It lives off of silence, off the shame of supposedly "not being able to control your impulses". But it IS a disease, like any other. It rips you apart and takes away all of the parts of yourself that you once enjoyed. You hide it, you deny its' power. Even in this moment I feel gross writing this, exposing my family in this way. But I have found for something to lose it's power, it needs to be exposed. Brought into the light. So I am trying.
My dad has tried time and time again to go to rehab. It never sticks. My dad and mom feed off each other, enabling the disease. It's hard, but I try not to blame them. If you are a child of alcoholism you understand this struggle. Looking back, I know my dad has been depressed for a long time without seeking help. He's from Dorchester and has a blue-collar attitude. Shake it off, bite the bullet, keep working and you can overcome.
On top of medical bills, there is the mortgage. The bills to keep the heat and electricity on in the house. Despite both of them working ALL of their lives, they could never catch up. My dad literally worked up until the moment he physically could not. His job for the last few years has been doing maintenance at a Veteran's facility. Very physical work. All while his body was shutting down. I truly cannot express how angry I am with our country. It has failed my parents so fully it breaks my heart.
I am not under the impression that my dad will ever recover. I know the reality. What I am hoping for is that he can live as long as possible as comfortably as possible.
I know the goal of this campaign is a lot of freaking money. I know that and I don't expect to reach the goal. But honestly, it's not even half of the money my parents need. So if you have anything at all to give I appreciate it. If you don't, that's okay, because I know the struggle. It's such a difficult time for so many of us and it feels like we are all alone on an island with no help in sight. But I just keep forcing myself to remember we are not alone.
Thanks for listening.
My dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer earlier this year. At that time, they also discovered his liver was in really bad shape. The only reason I know this is because I obtained a copy of my dad's medical records and went through it all. He never told us the extent because again, my dad doesn't like to burden people. This is the reason for this campaign. My dad is now in liver failure. He was admitted to the hospital a few weeks ago because, after checking himself into rehab for alcoholism, they said he was too sick. When I went to visit him in the ICU I had to double check I had the right room. He was in awful shape. He wasn't conscious and hadn't been all day. The doctor was not confident his condition would improve at all. She told us there is a 60% chance he will be gone within 90 days. That is the reality we are dealing with. Thankfully, he regained consciousness, and in a few days was stable enough to be moved out of the ICU and then discharged home. He joked to me that they threw him out as soon as they could.
Among the tens of thousands he already owes in medical bills, there is now the cost of his ongoing care. It is an urgent necessity. His insurance is BlueCross BlueShield and they do not cover any post-hospital therapy or rehab. His doctor confided in me that his insurance sucks and he did all he could do to get them to help my dad. This is our country's healthcare system. Where doctors, who should be focused on the medical care of their patients, are forced to deal with the administrative nightmare of providing that care. My dad is 64. A year away from when Social Security would fully kick in.
My dad is a veteran who, all my life, got up between 4-5 in the morning and went to work. He also was my coach in just about every sport I played. He was always a functioning alcoholic until life just got too tough to maintain the functioning part. On top of this, there is my mom. When I originally came back up north to help my family it was because of her health. She is still recovering from a blood clot, has neuropathy, and needs a cane or wheelchair to get around. She was in and out of critical care over the last year. She herself has three nurses who come in to help her weekly. She is 71 and thankfully receives social security benefits. My mom is also an alcoholic who still drinks.
Alcoholism runs in my family on both sides. And it's a shameful disease. It lives off of silence, off the shame of supposedly "not being able to control your impulses". But it IS a disease, like any other. It rips you apart and takes away all of the parts of yourself that you once enjoyed. You hide it, you deny its' power. Even in this moment I feel gross writing this, exposing my family in this way. But I have found for something to lose it's power, it needs to be exposed. Brought into the light. So I am trying.
My dad has tried time and time again to go to rehab. It never sticks. My dad and mom feed off each other, enabling the disease. It's hard, but I try not to blame them. If you are a child of alcoholism you understand this struggle. Looking back, I know my dad has been depressed for a long time without seeking help. He's from Dorchester and has a blue-collar attitude. Shake it off, bite the bullet, keep working and you can overcome.
On top of medical bills, there is the mortgage. The bills to keep the heat and electricity on in the house. Despite both of them working ALL of their lives, they could never catch up. My dad literally worked up until the moment he physically could not. His job for the last few years has been doing maintenance at a Veteran's facility. Very physical work. All while his body was shutting down. I truly cannot express how angry I am with our country. It has failed my parents so fully it breaks my heart.
I am not under the impression that my dad will ever recover. I know the reality. What I am hoping for is that he can live as long as possible as comfortably as possible.
I know the goal of this campaign is a lot of freaking money. I know that and I don't expect to reach the goal. But honestly, it's not even half of the money my parents need. So if you have anything at all to give I appreciate it. If you don't, that's okay, because I know the struggle. It's such a difficult time for so many of us and it feels like we are all alone on an island with no help in sight. But I just keep forcing myself to remember we are not alone.
Thanks for listening.
Organizer
Aly Dixon
Organizer
Wakefield, MA
