HELP! WE MELTED THE BRONZE FONZ!!!
WELCOME TO THE MAP, MILWAUKEE!!!
We will be unveiling the Melted Lil Buddy (MLB) TONIGHT Thursday, October 18th at 6pm at Pop-CultureJam at RedLine!
Well, we did it. With your support (tax paying dollars) we melted the lil fella, and you can now rest easy at night knowing you finally did something positive for this dang city. But if we have learned anything from the real Fonz and his gift of snapping his fingers and having hot babes draped in his arms, or that cool thing where he bangs on the juke box and an Elvis song starts to play, it's that with great power comes great responsibility – and often, lots of legal fees. Which brings us to our next GoFundMe: MILRUNNY NOW NEEDS 20K TO COVER FOR SOME UNFORTUNATE LEGAL FEES DUE TO MELTING THE BRONZE FONZ.
In the interest of being fully transparent, we thought we had Tom Barrett's blessing, but it turns out one of our G*** Dang interns was speaking with TOMMY BARTLETT!! THIS IS WHY WE DON'T PAY THEM!!!
We should have known, we did think it was a bit strange when "Tom Barrett" kept asking about getting the "Bronzey Fonzey" to do "one last sweet sweet water ski ride before we turn him into smoked gouda!" We thought he was just being the silly lil mayor we have come to know and love, but instead he is being a silly lil litigious mayor that speaks only legalese!!
So, we need you Milwaukeeans to gather again, to come out and support your city. Yes, I know we are "on the map now," and I know we now have a Shake Shack AND an IKEA, but hopefully your head isn't too big to find it in your beer and cheese filled hearts to get our MLB outta this legal trouble!! MilRunny and our Bronze Blob of Toasted Brie need your help!!
Background on the Melting of the Bronze Fonz:
An unfortunately unsuccessful $5.5 million GoFundMe campaign in August of 2018 led MilRunny to be forced to use public funds to bankroll its "Melt the Bronze Fonz" dream. Using a giant magnifying glass and a nearly perfect sphere of hot plasma (the sun), MilRunny turned that Fonz dude into Fondue! As evidenced by the Fonz's passing, Milwaukee will finally get the recognition it deserves. Without the Bronze Fonz, Milwaukee has finally drunkenly stumbled onto The Map, joining sister cities Minneapolis, Chicago and -- the Paris of the Midwest -- Green Bay. We didn't realize we didn't need a Bronze Fonz until we had a Bronze Fonz. Not everyone is going to love it, but not everyone loves all things.
PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN!!!