Emergency Help
Donation protected
Hello, I'm Mira.
I am a member of the active internet community and I find myself in a position of needing to ask for support. I am disabled, and fighting with SSD to keep my earned entitlement. They can take away the check, but not the reason for it. For now, it is simply emergency help that I am asking for, as I am still in the process of appeal, and I don't want to take away from any other place that you may be working to assist.
I need to ask you to help me continue to provide the following services to the internet community:
- Emergency help
(Such as disaster response communication)
- Scientific information
- Job leads
- New Stories
- Innovative Ideas (Food for Thought)
- Entertainment and Art
I do all my own research, and I am currently living in transitional housing. (This means a lousy hotel with a big fridge and a micro-kitchen.) My connection to the internet is limited to a phone hotspot, which has been a major expense over the past year and a half. I had to leave where I was living in January of 2016 because of security concerns. When I left, I had only what I could carry in my rental car. This included my clothes, some books, computer equipment, and my assistance animal. When I got here, I had every intention of continuing to rent the car on a monthly basis, but, the rental company didn't allow it since I had an out-of-state license. So, for the first year that I was here, I had no car.
The cheap hotel that I found ($440.00) was close to a small store, about a block away, though, where I could walk to get basic needs such as food handled. The room was filthy, and I had to scrub it from top to bottom, and paint.
Now, I should explain that the week that I had to give up the rental, I discovered that there were roaches and bedbugs in the room (And the assosciated expense of killing them). I had no choice but to sleep on the floor, on some blankets that I had brought with me, for about a month and a half. I have fibromyalgia, neuropathy, and seizure disorder, which affects my speech) so the combination of the lack of sleep and the pain had me about half out of my mind. I wrote to stay sane, and tried to come up with a plan to better my situation.
I was able to save enough money from my check to purchase a small foldout chair, which served as a bed, and start an Amazon subscription to get some of the basic things that I needed, a little less expensive than the small store down the block.
I did my laundry in the tub, and got to know my neighbors. I made a very dear friend who also happens to be a septugenarian. She had a bed, but, it was in such poor condition that she wasn't sleeping well, and she has some of the same issues that I have. I saved up over the next month and purchased a bed for her, too.
The following month, I purchased painting equipment. During the day, I would fold up my bed, and paint. I had the intention to get enough of an inventory to sell prints of my work online. Some of the people in the hotel had internet, and I saw no reason why I could not do the same to be self-supporting. I have a long work history, and have started businesses before, so I knew the process to start an internet company, and that there were services online that I could use to provide fulfillment services, once I had something that was sellable.
By October of 2016, I had painted enough that I believed it was time to start marketing. I had been saving money for a down payment on a car, and I made arrangements to purchase one so that I would not have to carry my laundry to the laundromat (2 miles away, uphill). Doing so had been a very difficult, and painful process, which sent me to bed for a week following each trip, due to the pain. I could not see a doctor, because the only access that I had was emergency care, due to the move. Chronic illness is not emergency care, unless you are looking for hospitalization, or pain medicine, and I have previous medical expenses that I did not want to exacerbate. I want to pay my bills.
I have been depressed, I find comfort in helping others, to the best of my ability. This and the creation of my artwork has been my only therapy, or means of support.
I had the car for only a few weeks when Gatlinburg caught fire. During these few weeks, I had managed to get a few shelves, and some better cooking and cleaning materials, and finally get my laundry actually clean. I had the room set up as a little studio, and had started sharing my own work on my main account on twitter (@tbdnonymous ).
The fires started on November 28, 2016, and the smoke plume was visible and the smell was light. By November 30, the winds had picked up to near hurricane strength, and the smoke was heavy here.
I put my 180 paintings in the car, my cat, my neighbor, her two cats, and a small box of clothes. I had no money, and very little gas, but I was terrified for my life, and more importantly, the life of my friend if she were to be exposed to more smoke from the fires.
We drove through the fire. We went to the evacuation center first, but the fire was close and coming over the mountain, and we were afraid to stay there, so we kept driving. I found a salvation army place, and asked for help. They gave me a $12 gas card, I was able to get gas, and we looked for a place that we could rest safely.
We saw the calvary come in, line after line of fire trucks from everywhere. We had hope that we would be able to come back home safely. Not finding anyplace that we could stay overnight, we parked in the walmart parking lot, and sat for several hours until daylight came, We listened to the radio reports, and waited.
The next morning, we made our way back from Sevierville to Gatlinburg, on a prayer that we would be able to come back home.
The way was blocked by police, and after a 4 hour wait in a parking lot, just a half-mile from home, the police said we could not come back. We heard about the emergency shelter and went there to see what we could do. (With 3 cats)
I did not know it at the time, but, we had already lost another friend to the fire. As long as I live, I will never forget the sight of the exhausted fire crew catching some very needed shut-eye on the sidewalk outside the shelter, the sound of the wind roaring, or hearing the names of the missing being called out.
My friend called her bank, and found out that she was able to get an emergency overdraft loan to help us evacuate. She bought us breakfast, put gas in the car, and I took her safely to her daughter's house in Knoxville. With no sleep yet, I continued to drive for another 6 hours to Southern Indiana, where my parents live.
I was grateful to have a bunk, in my nephews room, and a I stayed there for a week, waiting on word from Gatlinburg, and money so I could come home. In major pain from being up for over 24 hours and the drive, I slept most of the time I was there, and tried to decide whether I should return. When my friend called and said we could come home, that our half of the hotel had not burned down, and that she needed me to bring her, my decision was made. Gatlinburg.
I put the cat in the car, and we drove back to Knoxville to get her. We made it back home, had to show ID to get through the police block, and we were not prepared for what we found.
Silence, soot, and every door in the hotel kicked in by fire safety workers, presumably looking for survivors. The parking lot was covered in half-burned debris, parts of the building and shingles were missing, our rooms were completely covered in about an inch of ash, mine more-so than hers, because of the position of the room. There were leaves everywhere, that had been blown in by the winds. Thanks to the Gatlinburg police, nothing was missing. We had power, and water. We were blessed.
We arrived here at just after dark, but we had to clean up before either of us could sleep. I got the majority of the soot off the floor and did a quick wipe-down of the room before collapsing, exhausted, into the bed, but it took weeks to get all of the soot out, and I had to replace a lot of what was here over the next 2 months, including the lock to my room.
The little group of people that we had known took a major loss. We had 3 deaths in our group, some simply didn't return, and we may never know. Others were able to move, and did so.
FEMA and too may others to mention came to Gatlinburg's aid.I will be forever grateful to all who helped. Since my friend and I rent our place, we were not eligible for some of the aid, but, as soon as FEMA got here, I took her to sign up to get some help. I already had SSD, so I did not accept the help, knowing that it was limited, and the need was great, I didn't want to take what someone else might need more that I did.
Mountain Tough was started, and the Dollywood fund, too. I had a place to live, though, and so I didn't ask for help then, except via twitter to help others.
I did all I could to help with Team Rubicon, my heroes. I signed in with Volunteer Match, and did what I could to help them, too. I had already been helping with these orgs and with pre-disaster prep since long before Hurricane Matthew, and helping others is just what I do, so I continued, as soon as the room was usable, and I had recovered somewhat from the exhaustion.
In January of 2017, I went to speak to one of the shop-owners about possibly selling some of my work here, and tried to get regular broadband internet in here. The building is too old, though, and the cable won't support it without the owner replacing the existing cable on the property. (That isn't going to happen.)
I haven't painted since. A combination of exhaustion, assisting with disaster emergency response for hurricanes and fires, etc.
About 6 weeks ago, SSA decided that I needed to have a review on my check. They say I am not disabled. I say, you can take the check, but not the PTSD, fibro, and exhaustion from all I have been through. This is it for me, and I am doing all I can. I haven't seen a doctor since I left Southern Indiana to come to Gatlinburg.
I got a hosting company, and have been working on that as well, to try to come up with something I can use to help me get my head straight, and praying to be able to support myself in case my appeal fails. I have worked to help the homeless for years, I don't want to add more burden to anyone else, but with my speech and physical condition being so unpredictable I can't do anything other than what I have been doing.
Those who can't do, teach. What a misunderstood phrase.
This is the first time I have written openly about all of this, and I have had to write through my tears.
If what I have done has helped you in any way, or if you want my continued help, I am asking you now to think about the worth of my contribution, and respond as you are able to do so. I am asking for the priviledge of being able to continue to serve our community.
Your contribution will keep me housed, fed, and connected, in the event that my SSA appeal fails, and I will never ask for more than I need for subsistance. If you want a list of my current expenses and or debt, I can provide it.
The reason for the goal amount is that this amount will keep me housed and fed for an additional month, which gives me more time to come up with a way to support myself outside of begging.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope that, even if you see this as a failure, that you will use my experiences to prevent any of the badness ever happening to you or yours.
Wishing you all the love in the world,
~Mira Behn
I am a member of the active internet community and I find myself in a position of needing to ask for support. I am disabled, and fighting with SSD to keep my earned entitlement. They can take away the check, but not the reason for it. For now, it is simply emergency help that I am asking for, as I am still in the process of appeal, and I don't want to take away from any other place that you may be working to assist.
I need to ask you to help me continue to provide the following services to the internet community:
- Emergency help
(Such as disaster response communication)
- Scientific information
- Job leads
- New Stories
- Innovative Ideas (Food for Thought)
- Entertainment and Art
I do all my own research, and I am currently living in transitional housing. (This means a lousy hotel with a big fridge and a micro-kitchen.) My connection to the internet is limited to a phone hotspot, which has been a major expense over the past year and a half. I had to leave where I was living in January of 2016 because of security concerns. When I left, I had only what I could carry in my rental car. This included my clothes, some books, computer equipment, and my assistance animal. When I got here, I had every intention of continuing to rent the car on a monthly basis, but, the rental company didn't allow it since I had an out-of-state license. So, for the first year that I was here, I had no car.
The cheap hotel that I found ($440.00) was close to a small store, about a block away, though, where I could walk to get basic needs such as food handled. The room was filthy, and I had to scrub it from top to bottom, and paint.
Now, I should explain that the week that I had to give up the rental, I discovered that there were roaches and bedbugs in the room (And the assosciated expense of killing them). I had no choice but to sleep on the floor, on some blankets that I had brought with me, for about a month and a half. I have fibromyalgia, neuropathy, and seizure disorder, which affects my speech) so the combination of the lack of sleep and the pain had me about half out of my mind. I wrote to stay sane, and tried to come up with a plan to better my situation.
I was able to save enough money from my check to purchase a small foldout chair, which served as a bed, and start an Amazon subscription to get some of the basic things that I needed, a little less expensive than the small store down the block.
I did my laundry in the tub, and got to know my neighbors. I made a very dear friend who also happens to be a septugenarian. She had a bed, but, it was in such poor condition that she wasn't sleeping well, and she has some of the same issues that I have. I saved up over the next month and purchased a bed for her, too.
The following month, I purchased painting equipment. During the day, I would fold up my bed, and paint. I had the intention to get enough of an inventory to sell prints of my work online. Some of the people in the hotel had internet, and I saw no reason why I could not do the same to be self-supporting. I have a long work history, and have started businesses before, so I knew the process to start an internet company, and that there were services online that I could use to provide fulfillment services, once I had something that was sellable.
By October of 2016, I had painted enough that I believed it was time to start marketing. I had been saving money for a down payment on a car, and I made arrangements to purchase one so that I would not have to carry my laundry to the laundromat (2 miles away, uphill). Doing so had been a very difficult, and painful process, which sent me to bed for a week following each trip, due to the pain. I could not see a doctor, because the only access that I had was emergency care, due to the move. Chronic illness is not emergency care, unless you are looking for hospitalization, or pain medicine, and I have previous medical expenses that I did not want to exacerbate. I want to pay my bills.
I have been depressed, I find comfort in helping others, to the best of my ability. This and the creation of my artwork has been my only therapy, or means of support.
I had the car for only a few weeks when Gatlinburg caught fire. During these few weeks, I had managed to get a few shelves, and some better cooking and cleaning materials, and finally get my laundry actually clean. I had the room set up as a little studio, and had started sharing my own work on my main account on twitter (@tbdnonymous ).
The fires started on November 28, 2016, and the smoke plume was visible and the smell was light. By November 30, the winds had picked up to near hurricane strength, and the smoke was heavy here.
I put my 180 paintings in the car, my cat, my neighbor, her two cats, and a small box of clothes. I had no money, and very little gas, but I was terrified for my life, and more importantly, the life of my friend if she were to be exposed to more smoke from the fires.
We drove through the fire. We went to the evacuation center first, but the fire was close and coming over the mountain, and we were afraid to stay there, so we kept driving. I found a salvation army place, and asked for help. They gave me a $12 gas card, I was able to get gas, and we looked for a place that we could rest safely.
We saw the calvary come in, line after line of fire trucks from everywhere. We had hope that we would be able to come back home safely. Not finding anyplace that we could stay overnight, we parked in the walmart parking lot, and sat for several hours until daylight came, We listened to the radio reports, and waited.
The next morning, we made our way back from Sevierville to Gatlinburg, on a prayer that we would be able to come back home.
The way was blocked by police, and after a 4 hour wait in a parking lot, just a half-mile from home, the police said we could not come back. We heard about the emergency shelter and went there to see what we could do. (With 3 cats)
I did not know it at the time, but, we had already lost another friend to the fire. As long as I live, I will never forget the sight of the exhausted fire crew catching some very needed shut-eye on the sidewalk outside the shelter, the sound of the wind roaring, or hearing the names of the missing being called out.
My friend called her bank, and found out that she was able to get an emergency overdraft loan to help us evacuate. She bought us breakfast, put gas in the car, and I took her safely to her daughter's house in Knoxville. With no sleep yet, I continued to drive for another 6 hours to Southern Indiana, where my parents live.
I was grateful to have a bunk, in my nephews room, and a I stayed there for a week, waiting on word from Gatlinburg, and money so I could come home. In major pain from being up for over 24 hours and the drive, I slept most of the time I was there, and tried to decide whether I should return. When my friend called and said we could come home, that our half of the hotel had not burned down, and that she needed me to bring her, my decision was made. Gatlinburg.
I put the cat in the car, and we drove back to Knoxville to get her. We made it back home, had to show ID to get through the police block, and we were not prepared for what we found.
Silence, soot, and every door in the hotel kicked in by fire safety workers, presumably looking for survivors. The parking lot was covered in half-burned debris, parts of the building and shingles were missing, our rooms were completely covered in about an inch of ash, mine more-so than hers, because of the position of the room. There were leaves everywhere, that had been blown in by the winds. Thanks to the Gatlinburg police, nothing was missing. We had power, and water. We were blessed.
We arrived here at just after dark, but we had to clean up before either of us could sleep. I got the majority of the soot off the floor and did a quick wipe-down of the room before collapsing, exhausted, into the bed, but it took weeks to get all of the soot out, and I had to replace a lot of what was here over the next 2 months, including the lock to my room.
The little group of people that we had known took a major loss. We had 3 deaths in our group, some simply didn't return, and we may never know. Others were able to move, and did so.
FEMA and too may others to mention came to Gatlinburg's aid.I will be forever grateful to all who helped. Since my friend and I rent our place, we were not eligible for some of the aid, but, as soon as FEMA got here, I took her to sign up to get some help. I already had SSD, so I did not accept the help, knowing that it was limited, and the need was great, I didn't want to take what someone else might need more that I did.
Mountain Tough was started, and the Dollywood fund, too. I had a place to live, though, and so I didn't ask for help then, except via twitter to help others.
I did all I could to help with Team Rubicon, my heroes. I signed in with Volunteer Match, and did what I could to help them, too. I had already been helping with these orgs and with pre-disaster prep since long before Hurricane Matthew, and helping others is just what I do, so I continued, as soon as the room was usable, and I had recovered somewhat from the exhaustion.
In January of 2017, I went to speak to one of the shop-owners about possibly selling some of my work here, and tried to get regular broadband internet in here. The building is too old, though, and the cable won't support it without the owner replacing the existing cable on the property. (That isn't going to happen.)
I haven't painted since. A combination of exhaustion, assisting with disaster emergency response for hurricanes and fires, etc.
About 6 weeks ago, SSA decided that I needed to have a review on my check. They say I am not disabled. I say, you can take the check, but not the PTSD, fibro, and exhaustion from all I have been through. This is it for me, and I am doing all I can. I haven't seen a doctor since I left Southern Indiana to come to Gatlinburg.
I got a hosting company, and have been working on that as well, to try to come up with something I can use to help me get my head straight, and praying to be able to support myself in case my appeal fails. I have worked to help the homeless for years, I don't want to add more burden to anyone else, but with my speech and physical condition being so unpredictable I can't do anything other than what I have been doing.
Those who can't do, teach. What a misunderstood phrase.
This is the first time I have written openly about all of this, and I have had to write through my tears.
If what I have done has helped you in any way, or if you want my continued help, I am asking you now to think about the worth of my contribution, and respond as you are able to do so. I am asking for the priviledge of being able to continue to serve our community.
Your contribution will keep me housed, fed, and connected, in the event that my SSA appeal fails, and I will never ask for more than I need for subsistance. If you want a list of my current expenses and or debt, I can provide it.
The reason for the goal amount is that this amount will keep me housed and fed for an additional month, which gives me more time to come up with a way to support myself outside of begging.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope that, even if you see this as a failure, that you will use my experiences to prevent any of the badness ever happening to you or yours.
Wishing you all the love in the world,
~Mira Behn
Organizer
Mira Behn
Organizer
Gatlinburg, TN
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