The Battle With Endo

Hi, My name is Erica Harold-Washington. Im going to speak from the heart and tell you all my story. Its as difficult to hear as it is to live. 11 years ago, I was struck with a monsterous pain that over came my whole body. It started in my pelvis and it was so bad i clenched into a ball on the bed and couldnt move. I had to be carried to a scalding hot tub of water. The pain was so bad i needed the water to be that hot. I didnt even flinch as i entered. My, then boyfriend, now husband was there when it happened. I had no idea that day, the horror that was about to become my life. So many intricate details, both big and small, make up what has become of my life to-date. I endured many, many tourturous days and nights during the next few years of horrible pain during periods as well as toxic and morbidly painful cyst ruptures, that felt like bombs going off inside me. I wasnt diagnosed by surgery until 2014, almost 7 years after the day it all began. During those years I suffered, married and had 2 daughters that i nearly miscarried both times. And still went on to miscarry twice after my daughters. So i had 2 beautiful, miracle children and lost 2. My marriage took a major hit as well. And still is. Ive had 7 surgeries and now need an 8th. I've gone thru several jobs, just trying to hold on but my health ALWAYS, ALWAYS interferes. I've battled the severe depression and anxiety that have been triggered by all the trauma of this disease. As well as developing Multiple Sclerosis due to a weakened immune system. Many women with endometriosis develop some type of auto immune disease due to their bodies trying and failing to fight the abnormal tissue that takes over their reproductive organs. Endometriosis is a combination of that abnormal tissue that comes out during cycles and attaches itself where it sees fit, first to reproductive organs, then any where else it can, and lesions that have a life and mind of their own. The tissues and lesions all have their own systems of nerve endings and activity. They bleed like they're on their own cycles and cause toxic internal bleeding and huge pain. Pain is also caused by the tissue binding your organs together like a super human spiders web and cysts that rupture constantly. Every womans endo journey is different. A dr told me that no two women suffer the same exact ways. And surgery DOES NOT CURE! Not even a full or partial hysterectomy. Almost all of the women with endo I've connected with have the same story though. Failed or failing marriages. Job loss. Pregnancy loss or failing to get pregnant altogether. Financial trouble due to job loss and health care. Severe depression and anxiety. Torturous pain most or every day of our lives. Not being able to mother the children you do have, if you were blessed to have any at all, (I can no longer have children). Being guinea pigs to drs and treatments. (2015-I was coaxed into a hormonal chemo treatment that made things even worse) So, so many more things that we all struggle with due to this curse. My family has nearly gone broke at times just to fund my medical needs. And now, im pretty much going with out treatment and trying to work through pain and the need for another surgery just to get my own insurance and cover my own healthcare needs and that usually takes up my whole check. My family is depleted and we dont have many places to turn. I've wanted a normal life back so long. I dont even remember what its like. I do know im tired of suffering and those of us with endometriosis need an advocate and resourses and strong, unwaivering support systems. There are still too many that dont know or understand the crippling effects of this disease and its time to end that and end endo. I need help so that i can be a mom and wife and a sister and daughter, so that i can be a human that has joy. This disease stole everything short of breath from me and many others. Its time we took back what was ours. Some thing I'll never be able to get back, like time, or the 2 babies i lost.. But I can still have a life somehow. Im praying to God every day to end this. I pray He hears me and will answer. Thank whoever you are, for reading all of this and taking time to share and/or donate. Its alot to read but this isn't even a fraction of my story.