A new life with InnerBalance rehab
Clean and sober to live my life. Read the latest update to see how I did it.
THANK YOU <3
In addition to ‘the fear’ I was also very excited; Excited to start living with purpose, to be honest with myself and others, to find happiness– without using drugs and alcohol. These thoughts, and the belief others had in me, carried me through those darkest days.
At Inner Balance many of the staff are in recovery; they could relate to the struggle. This helped make the group and individual sessions powerfully authentic and beneficial to this healing mission of recovery. This was a level of treatment I would not have been able to afford without your help. I will be forever grateful and indebted to you, friends.
Today is six months since I discontinued the detox medications – six months clean and sober. It seems like only yesterday I was in treatment. 2017 went from being one of the hardest years of my life, to one of the best. I feel happy in my own skin! I have a job I love, service positions that bring me joy and experience, and I’m back in school.
“Happiness is a by-product of a right way of living.” I am so thankful I was given the opportunity to discover the right way for myself. As long as I stay connected, stay focused on my purpose, and practice radical acceptance, life will continue to blossom.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for believing in me! <3
6. Return to Duty
The counselors at Inner Balance did not recommend jumping back into work. I'm thankful I could take the time to readjust to living outside the rehab bubble. I started off volunteering at a soup kitchen; what a fun experience it has become! Volunteering, talking to friends and strangers, having a smile and a laugh – they all boost serotonin!
Tomorrow I have an interview to be a Personal Care Provider at a nursing home. I'm looking forward to getting experience in that area, to see if becoming a CNA is right for me right now. Looking forward to being challenged and having fun with people I can learn from.
Many people who come into recovery are drawn into the addiction field. I'm one of those many. Next year I'm going to start interning to become a Certified Addiction Counselor. In the meantime, a counselor has offered to take me along on interventions. That makes me nervous... like learning my way around Banner Hospital as a volunteer. These are things I have to do—things that challenge me to get over fears and insecurities, to try, and make mistakes and keep challenging myself. It's the only way I can grow and get to where I want to go.
Being in sober living leaves no shortage of friends to laugh with, take walks, biking, going to movies, etc. Recovery groups also have this benefit; like-minded people who enjoy healthy activities. Cooking, working out, group yoga, group acupuncture—that's been my idea of fun lately.
I went to Red Rocks with a friend last month – it was incredible to go back to the music scene on that mountain. The music and the view were all I needed to appreciate the moment. The things I used to think were fun just looked like a bummer. Watching the crowd go through waves of euphoria and depression/anxiety reminded me of why I chose this life—to feel happy in the no, to be able to leave a venue clear headed and remember the whole night, or which way is up☝!
8. Have all substances of abuse removed from house.
It's important for me to be around people that are growing and not reverting to old patterns of escapism. I'm working on finding these future housemates.
9. Meet regularly with a licensed therapist certified as an Addiction Counselor beginning 2 to 3 months following discharge.
I have two great counselors – one whom I'm seeing today! I see a neurofeedback (NFB) therapist in Fort Collins. It's billed as psychotherapy so it's Medicaid covered! Most of the session uses NFB training to bring the brain back towards an optimal state. This involves watching a movie with electrodes attached to the head; then the screen and sound will change based on brain wave coherency. The brain recognizes itself in the movie, and adjusts the picture and sound. Using a brain map done on the first session, the clinician can target areas that need more work, and adjust as needed. Science is real magic!
Donations to this campaign will go toward paying off the rehab debt and pay for becoming a Certified Addiction Counselor. If you'd like to help me with these goals, please type "CAC" or "IB debt" in the comment section on your donation. Thank you all so much for helping me on this!
This is how my recovery feels today:
Dr. McCauley made a great video called "Pleasure Unwoven. It's easy to watch and understand.
Back to "Crucial Tips for the First Year of Recovery"...
1. Complete Initial treatment plan.
Inner Balance is one of a few rehabs in the states that uses a holistic approach to treat the "client" , as they called us. Many of the staff have been in treatment, and therefore take great care in their approach. It feels personal at Inner Balance. I wasn't an addict to be punished (which only builds resentments against treatment, causing more sick behavior), I was a sick person getting on a road towards wellness. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to go there! I'll talk more about IB in future updates.
2. Immediate Aftercare Plan.
My aftercare plan came together in sober living. At IB, sober living and a 12 step meeting upon discharge was all I had planned. I got Colorado medicaid, which allowed me to get treatment at Summit Stone. There, I go to group recovery accupuncture 4 times a week, a mindful recovery group and counseling. Thank you Medicaid!
3. "Ninety in Ninety".
This means 90 support group meetings in ninety days. Because of the requirements to live at Serenity House, I'll be closer to 180. At times I didnt want to go to a meeting, but every meeting I've gone to has been worthwhile- whether to share, or more often to hear someone elses experience, strength and hope.
Every week I do a combination of 12 step writing and meditation meetings, yoga recovery meetings ( called Y12SR), Lifering, Buddhist 12 step AKA Heart of Recovery, Aftercare at InnerBalance, and AA/NA. Variety keeps it interesting!
4. Obtain Sponsor no later then 2 weeks following discharge.
My sponsor has years of experience with recovery and meditation. I'm very thankful for his guidance. A good sponsor keeps their sponsee accountable through regular talks. I now call him every day.
I get tested as part of living at Serenity House. There are nightly BA's and random UA's. I also get tested at Summit Stone twice weekly on alternating days.
6. Return to Duty.
I'm going to continue on this when I have free time- I have a meeting to get to. :-)
Thanks for reading! Please get in touch if you have questions.
Taben, I am so proud of your progress, your self-awareness, and how wholeheartedly you've embraced what seemed from the outside like a scary and painful process. I am thankful for your inner strength. Keep it up, kiddo. ♥ Olivia
Thanks for keeping us abreast of your life. It is great to feel connected to you,
Great to hear this update Taben ~ you sound so happy and clear and committed AND I love your humor! Let me know if I can come have lunch with you. I would love to see you.
so nice to hear you are getting such great benefit from this experience. I have great faith inyou..