Support Maddie, Advocate for Change
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This is among one of the most difficult things we've ever had to do and it's hard to know where to start. Maybe the best place is to start with saying that our 14y/o daughter is an addict.
For anyone who has been in a position of dealing with a loved one with the sickness of addiction, you know it's a battle you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. As the addiction sets in it begins to take over not just the individual's life, but the lives of everyone it touches. It's a black hole that is never satisfied.
A Fallen Child
Her began her journey towards addiction like I'm sure most people do. She was faced with various challenges in school, in her relationships, in life, and with herself. Those challenges compounded over time. Somewhere along the way she found substances to dull her pain and help her feel better as opposed to developing the necessary tools and skills that would bring her the strength and confidence to face that same pain. It started about 18 months ago with smoking. Then marijuana followed. Last summer she was introduced to cocaine, then in the fall, shortly after suffering a sexual assault, she found crystal meth .
The last 9 months has been a sharp (and quick) drop in her life. She stopped going to school in November and took to the streets. Her meth, cocaine, and marijuana use grew. Her pain and addiction made her a target for further assaults and eventually exploitation. It's difficult to imagine the pain she is feeling inside.
As we realized what was happening we reached out for help. We spoke to close friends involved in social work. That lead us to Addictions and Mental health through Alberta Health Services, to PSECA (Protection of Sexually Exploited Children Act), and, over time, to many others. In February of 2017 she was placed in a protective safe house for 19 days under PSECA. There she was kept safe, was able to detox, properly nourished, provided mental health, and in general allowed an opportunity to reflect on her addiction and life. Being 14 and not understanding, she also felt like she was being punished. Unfortunately this attitude continued when she agreed to go to a voluntary program after the safe house. She lasted only 30 days in the program before she quit. She thought she had this thing beat, but was, as most teenagers are, over confident. Despite telling us and herself that she had changed, she was only able to stay clean about 3 weeks before the addiction called her back into its evil arms.
As a parent you never imagine that something like this could happen to your child. It's terrible. It's scary. It's heartbreaking. It's generally incredibly difficult to manage. It takes over your life and in every way you let it because of your love for your child. We ran for her every time she needed us, only to watch her disappear again. We booked therapy and counseling appointments that she didn't attend. We took on the burden of coordinating all the various agencies and professionals that don't have natural interagency coordination mechanisms on their own. Not only had we been grieving the loss of our daughter and her innocence but we began to feel the real pressure of what addiction does to parents and loved ones.
Awakening to the Reality of the Sickness of Addiction
With time, experience, endless sleepless nights, and a whole lot of crying we began to realize that this was not going to be fixed quickly and that we needed support of our own.
We found a parent support group called PEPSociety . Here we found support on how to dig in for the long haul. More importantly we found the realization that beating her addiction couldn't be done by letting her addiction mandate our lives. We learned about PChAD (Protection of Children Abusing Drugs Act) that allows us as parents a mechanism to go to court and force our child into a protective safe house every time we find she is putting herself into harms way. However, that process isn't easy. It takes time and a judge needs to be convinced at each occurance.
Why GoFundMe?
We started this page because we need support to support her. While there are some treatment programs available at no cost through AHS (Alberta Health Services), that is just one small part of a much bigger picture. There are costs for professional therapists, for healthy activities, for transportation, for education options, and for private treatment programs like Venture Academy ($350/day for the 30 day assessment). And then there are the indirect costs associated to Michelle and I losing time at work for appointments and court and just generally managing this and being there for her and our other 2 children. The financial burden continues to mount. Those who know about the situation ask us often how they can help. Making a donation (any amount) is huge. Each dollar will help us support our daughter in a variety of ways.
What will the Money Fund?
We are looking at this as a trust account. Something that we can use as is needed to help us subsidize any of the items mentioned above. We are learning that while it's up to the addict to make the effort to change and up to us to create firm boundaries, it's just as important that they have the safest and most supportive environment available to them when they take those steps. This campaign is to provide exactly that for our child.
(Any unused funds will be donated to one or more organaizations that support children with addiction or their families)
Thank you so much for your support.
Love and Light,
Freeman (Trish) and Michelle
For anyone who has been in a position of dealing with a loved one with the sickness of addiction, you know it's a battle you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. As the addiction sets in it begins to take over not just the individual's life, but the lives of everyone it touches. It's a black hole that is never satisfied.
A Fallen Child
Her began her journey towards addiction like I'm sure most people do. She was faced with various challenges in school, in her relationships, in life, and with herself. Those challenges compounded over time. Somewhere along the way she found substances to dull her pain and help her feel better as opposed to developing the necessary tools and skills that would bring her the strength and confidence to face that same pain. It started about 18 months ago with smoking. Then marijuana followed. Last summer she was introduced to cocaine, then in the fall, shortly after suffering a sexual assault, she found crystal meth .
The last 9 months has been a sharp (and quick) drop in her life. She stopped going to school in November and took to the streets. Her meth, cocaine, and marijuana use grew. Her pain and addiction made her a target for further assaults and eventually exploitation. It's difficult to imagine the pain she is feeling inside.
As we realized what was happening we reached out for help. We spoke to close friends involved in social work. That lead us to Addictions and Mental health through Alberta Health Services, to PSECA (Protection of Sexually Exploited Children Act), and, over time, to many others. In February of 2017 she was placed in a protective safe house for 19 days under PSECA. There she was kept safe, was able to detox, properly nourished, provided mental health, and in general allowed an opportunity to reflect on her addiction and life. Being 14 and not understanding, she also felt like she was being punished. Unfortunately this attitude continued when she agreed to go to a voluntary program after the safe house. She lasted only 30 days in the program before she quit. She thought she had this thing beat, but was, as most teenagers are, over confident. Despite telling us and herself that she had changed, she was only able to stay clean about 3 weeks before the addiction called her back into its evil arms.
As a parent you never imagine that something like this could happen to your child. It's terrible. It's scary. It's heartbreaking. It's generally incredibly difficult to manage. It takes over your life and in every way you let it because of your love for your child. We ran for her every time she needed us, only to watch her disappear again. We booked therapy and counseling appointments that she didn't attend. We took on the burden of coordinating all the various agencies and professionals that don't have natural interagency coordination mechanisms on their own. Not only had we been grieving the loss of our daughter and her innocence but we began to feel the real pressure of what addiction does to parents and loved ones.
Awakening to the Reality of the Sickness of Addiction
With time, experience, endless sleepless nights, and a whole lot of crying we began to realize that this was not going to be fixed quickly and that we needed support of our own.
We found a parent support group called PEPSociety . Here we found support on how to dig in for the long haul. More importantly we found the realization that beating her addiction couldn't be done by letting her addiction mandate our lives. We learned about PChAD (Protection of Children Abusing Drugs Act) that allows us as parents a mechanism to go to court and force our child into a protective safe house every time we find she is putting herself into harms way. However, that process isn't easy. It takes time and a judge needs to be convinced at each occurance.
Why GoFundMe?
We started this page because we need support to support her. While there are some treatment programs available at no cost through AHS (Alberta Health Services), that is just one small part of a much bigger picture. There are costs for professional therapists, for healthy activities, for transportation, for education options, and for private treatment programs like Venture Academy ($350/day for the 30 day assessment). And then there are the indirect costs associated to Michelle and I losing time at work for appointments and court and just generally managing this and being there for her and our other 2 children. The financial burden continues to mount. Those who know about the situation ask us often how they can help. Making a donation (any amount) is huge. Each dollar will help us support our daughter in a variety of ways.
What will the Money Fund?
We are looking at this as a trust account. Something that we can use as is needed to help us subsidize any of the items mentioned above. We are learning that while it's up to the addict to make the effort to change and up to us to create firm boundaries, it's just as important that they have the safest and most supportive environment available to them when they take those steps. This campaign is to provide exactly that for our child.
(Any unused funds will be donated to one or more organaizations that support children with addiction or their families)
Thank you so much for your support.
Love and Light,
Freeman (Trish) and Michelle
Organizer
Patricia Willerton
Organizer
Edmonton, AB
