Help me fix my life please

$635 of $3,000 goal

Raised by 12 people in 26 months
I'm big on taking responsibility. I hope that is obvious about me by now. But my life just dealt me a shit hand this year and I don't know how I will make it. Honestly, I'm all out of proactive ideas, except for this one, which I am hesitant to even try but my friend Bev insisted that I do.

My husband and I have a less-than-perfect relationship despite how it might appear. I'm not a hateful person and I take responsibility for my choices that led here so without throwing him under the bus or trying to make him look bad, here it is: due to several back surgeries, mountains of car and home repairs and a long period of unemployment followed by underemployment for me, we ended up with more debt that we could ever possibly repay in our lifetimes. Earlier this week, our bankruptcy was filed in court. This isn't a decision we came to easily, but I found myself for months choosing between paying minimum payments or buying $50 worth of groceries and trying to make it last two weeks till payday. There was literally no other option despite my honorable attempt to pay my debts. In 6 weeks, the other half of our attorney fees, totaling $800, are due and even though it would be hard, I was committed to hustling and making it happen.
Then last night happened.
I wish I took a picture that I could share but I didn't. I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock. But if I have the strength to go look again, I will get one and post it for you. All I can say is my husband flipped his Scion Tc on 162 and he and my brother are extremely lucky to be alive. For that I am grateful.
What I am having a hard time being grateful for are some of the choices they made leading up to the accident, and the fact that now I'm also forced to figure out how to pay not only for the bankruptcy but for other legal fees, fines and an insurance deductible that I just don't have, having drained my meager savings to begin bankruptcy proceedings.
So I have to ask for help, even though I don't want to, even though I have some additional tough choices that will probably need making here soon too. Even though, to me, admitting that I can't fix this myself and that my life is a disaster at the moment is embarrassing AF.
Oh and today, May 14, is my daughter's 15th birthday, which I am just trying to make as normal as possible for her. (Please don't judge- there's no space in my heart or head for that now or ever.)
So that's my story. If you are able at all to give me a hand as I move forward from this is whatever form that may take, I'm grateful.
So so so much love and gratitude for the gift of life, even though it is sometimes painful as hell.
Blessing to all of you. Thanks for listening.
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Living each day one at a time, trying to be patient with not knowing what comes next with Rich's driving privileges, rearranging my work schedule at the last minute to get him to work on time so he can keep his job so we can get by (thanks to some amazing friends at my new job for their help!) and hoping that he has enough vacation time to use for the days we just can't make it happen.
So grateful for all the help we've received, but there's so much more to come as we hurry up and wait.
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I'm blown away by everyone's love and kindness. Thank you all for every word, every email, every message and every text. Love you all for helping me to know we will get through this. ❤️❤️
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Day 16: Had to see it today in the daylight to really appreciate the extent of the destruction. Returned to the accident scene and left a borrowed golden retriever sweatshirt and thank you card for the Good Samaritans that stopped to help on their porch. Grabbed a turn signal cover from the ground as we left to make into a prism I will hang in my kitchen window to catch the light to help me remember that we shouldn’t take one single second of this life for granted, even the incredibly unfortunate and infuriating ones. #vulnerabilityproject #lifeisprecious #gratitude

(If you are in a position to help me with the financial challenges we are experiencing, I would be so thankful for the help. )
What is left of the Tc
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$635 of $3,000 goal

Raised by 12 people in 26 months
Created May 14, 2016
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$50
Anonymous
26 months ago
$50
Anonymous
26 months ago
$200
Anonymous
26 months ago
$50
Anonymous
26 months ago
$50
Anonymous
26 months ago
BD
$100
Brad Deaton
26 months ago
1
1

I wish it could be more. Hang in there and your honesty was refreshing (as little as that helps) P.S email me I have a small gift card id like to give your daughter for her bday

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