Help me fix my life please
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I'm big on taking responsibility. I hope that is obvious about me by now. But my life just dealt me a shit hand this year and I don't know how I will make it. Honestly, I'm all out of proactive ideas, except for this one, which I am hesitant to even try but my friend Bev insisted that I do.
My husband and I have a less-than-perfect relationship despite how it might appear. I'm not a hateful person and I take responsibility for my choices that led here so without throwing him under the bus or trying to make him look bad, here it is: due to several back surgeries, mountains of car and home repairs and a long period of unemployment followed by underemployment for me, we ended up with more debt that we could ever possibly repay in our lifetimes. Earlier this week, our bankruptcy was filed in court. This isn't a decision we came to easily, but I found myself for months choosing between paying minimum payments or buying $50 worth of groceries and trying to make it last two weeks till payday. There was literally no other option despite my honorable attempt to pay my debts. In 6 weeks, the other half of our attorney fees, totaling $800, are due and even though it would be hard, I was committed to hustling and making it happen.
Then last night happened.
I wish I took a picture that I could share but I didn't. I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock. But if I have the strength to go look again, I will get one and post it for you. All I can say is my husband flipped his Scion Tc on 162 and he and my brother are extremely lucky to be alive. For that I am grateful.
What I am having a hard time being grateful for are some of the choices they made leading up to the accident, and the fact that now I'm also forced to figure out how to pay not only for the bankruptcy but for other legal fees, fines and an insurance deductible that I just don't have, having drained my meager savings to begin bankruptcy proceedings.
So I have to ask for help, even though I don't want to, even though I have some additional tough choices that will probably need making here soon too. Even though, to me, admitting that I can't fix this myself and that my life is a disaster at the moment is embarrassing AF.
Oh and today, May 14, is my daughter's 15th birthday, which I am just trying to make as normal as possible for her. (Please don't judge- there's no space in my heart or head for that now or ever.)
So that's my story. If you are able at all to give me a hand as I move forward from this is whatever form that may take, I'm grateful.
So so so much love and gratitude for the gift of life, even though it is sometimes painful as hell.
Blessing to all of you. Thanks for listening.
My husband and I have a less-than-perfect relationship despite how it might appear. I'm not a hateful person and I take responsibility for my choices that led here so without throwing him under the bus or trying to make him look bad, here it is: due to several back surgeries, mountains of car and home repairs and a long period of unemployment followed by underemployment for me, we ended up with more debt that we could ever possibly repay in our lifetimes. Earlier this week, our bankruptcy was filed in court. This isn't a decision we came to easily, but I found myself for months choosing between paying minimum payments or buying $50 worth of groceries and trying to make it last two weeks till payday. There was literally no other option despite my honorable attempt to pay my debts. In 6 weeks, the other half of our attorney fees, totaling $800, are due and even though it would be hard, I was committed to hustling and making it happen.
Then last night happened.
I wish I took a picture that I could share but I didn't. I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock. But if I have the strength to go look again, I will get one and post it for you. All I can say is my husband flipped his Scion Tc on 162 and he and my brother are extremely lucky to be alive. For that I am grateful.
What I am having a hard time being grateful for are some of the choices they made leading up to the accident, and the fact that now I'm also forced to figure out how to pay not only for the bankruptcy but for other legal fees, fines and an insurance deductible that I just don't have, having drained my meager savings to begin bankruptcy proceedings.
So I have to ask for help, even though I don't want to, even though I have some additional tough choices that will probably need making here soon too. Even though, to me, admitting that I can't fix this myself and that my life is a disaster at the moment is embarrassing AF.
Oh and today, May 14, is my daughter's 15th birthday, which I am just trying to make as normal as possible for her. (Please don't judge- there's no space in my heart or head for that now or ever.)
So that's my story. If you are able at all to give me a hand as I move forward from this is whatever form that may take, I'm grateful.
So so so much love and gratitude for the gift of life, even though it is sometimes painful as hell.
Blessing to all of you. Thanks for listening.
Organizer
Heather Hunter
Organizer
Medina, OH
