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Something to dream about

€885 of €2,500 goal

Raised by 35 people in 17 months
Hello everybody, The first thing I want to tell you is that this is a personal thing. I was recommended to try this. No idea if this will do something for me but I'm at a point to try anything.

Almost 6 years ago I lost my job due to changes in the company I worked for. I was depressed for a long time and needed something to express myself. I always searched something to show the world who I am, something to leave a mark. I started taking pictures and also started a new job in a lab. I struggled a year to find my place again. Taking pictures and working on my photography became more and more important. For the last 5 years, photography is really my life. I get up in the morning thinking about it and go to sleep thinking about it. I still need a normal job to support my family because, I just don't earn enough to make a profit with my images.. Never had the chance to follow some real lessons (early/late shifts) so a photography job is no option.

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In the years that passed I thought I would become good enough to attract people and to gain some money.  I've had some small successes like a hotel that really supported me, and some people I did shoots for. But a real breakthrough is far away. The money I made over those years was just enough to buy most of the equipement but not all I want/need. In feb, I turned 40. I quit my  job begin februari and started a new one which I hoped would satisfy me more. End of march, I again quit this job and started the 3th one for this year in march. Our renovation of the house looks to be picking up from a 1.5-years pause also (no kitchen in the last 2.5 years) Hoping to find a new beginning I also want to give my photography a boost to finally mean something. Because of the jobchange and the insecurity for the next 6 months I had to stop my VAT-number for an indefinite time. So now I can't do any assignements any more. With no money left to replace a basic lens I hope I can raise the budget here. The money I gain here will be used for a new 24-70 lens (More of a dream to raise some money but we will see). And yes, it's a lot of money for that lens.  But I don't want to spend money on a cheap lens that I have to replace in a few years. I has to be used for a long, long time! Some extra money will boost me to put more energy in expressing myself in my images., to feel supported. I know, it's not all about money . Who doesn't want the feeling to be appreciated and to make something people look at and want to support what you are doing.

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I finally want to make my mark, something to be remembered. That money will also be the motivation to put more energy in my "project 20". I started this last year. The goal is to take images of a girl for 20 years. These are nude-shoots because I want to follow the development of a "real" girl/woman in her natural environment. That means we do the shoots where she lives, with her pets, stuff... and so we are able to see physical changes over the years: tattoo, fashion, pregnancy, weight... It has to be a personal story over the years. Already have 5 participating girls for this 

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The other shoots I really like are the dance/gymnast shoots/ I really like how those girls are able to express so many things with their bodies. I want to show you what I like in an artistic way. Express myself and getting better and better. Extra money means less time I need to  find assignments and do them.  Less worries. Time is crucial with a normal job, kids and renovation. With extra time I can put more energy in doing the project shoots and other shoots that really define me. (those shoots gain me nothing except new friends :-) 

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I hope my work will result in some graceful art (or that is what I'm trying to do)  Donations will result in creating more work and showing  you on my flickr and facebookaccount People that donate minimum 20€ and have (or create) a flickr account will get access to my "friends" portfolio. They will see more then normal viewers. Thanks for reading this.

Kind regards, Jeroen (Spheric)
Even if you don't donate, please have a look at my work. Somebody looking at my pictures is already a satisfaction :-) Other proposals are always welcome!

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Update 03/05/2018 The new job is hard but I'm fighting to keep going with my photography. Just need to find some extra energy again. The renovation of the house is less "picking up" then I was thinking. The things that should have been done in march-april are just starting. And again it's "promises" and delay after delay...

Update 1/6/2018 The renovation of the house is slowly but progressing for the moment. 2 months in the new job, feels good. Decided to make a small stop to buy a Canon M 18-150 lens first besides the goal of my Gofundme-campagne. At he rate that is going, the Canon 24-70 lens is unaffordable for the next year. The reason I bought this is simple. This small lens I can easily put in my pocket together with my Canon M6 camera. This combination is really small and multipurpose (wide angle and zoom) so I always have something with me if I see something interesting. Next stop,  the 24-70 lens. This lens is now 2000€ but I think/hope I can mange 800€ in the next 8 months. (on july 2018: already 150+ images for friends) facebook   flickr

Update 18/11/2018 In september, Canon did a cashback on the lens that I needed. Didn't had enough but buying in september would save me later on 220€. I took some money from the renovation to do this. Now, I need to get out of the red numbers again.
The place where I have my portfolio from the last 5-6 years alse made a bad move for me. They are forcing everyone with a free account to buy a pro account. Free accounts will be limited to 1000 images. I have 2600 pictures on that site so the first money I can get now is to buy a pro account.
A second step would be to fill the gap from buying the lens. If I can manage those things, the third step is to replace my pc screen with a better one (higher resolution and better colors for image processing).
The ultimate dream is to make a photostudio after the renovation is done.
The renovation itself is again "on hold". Saving the budget to buy a floor and heating....

After I get a pro account on flickr. Donators get access to the friend-images. I'm uploading more for friends now (and in higher resolution). Public images will be limited. It's the only way I see to survive.

Update 27/12/2018 Got the pro account with the help of some kind donators. Did a Project20 shoot with a new model, so I have now 5 participating girls, what is positive :-)
The renovation is still on hold. If we can manage a floor and heating, we can move there... After that's done, I have some place left to make a basic photostudio (some light and a curtain), really looking forward to that to...
No plans to go "official" again with my photography, just no demand for payed work (what I would like)
On a personal level, I'm in between, good days/bad days...
Still, I'm not giving up. I'm fighting for a change with my photography, fighting to get the renovation done, fighting to feel good :-)

Update 27/01/2019: Maybe a new Project20 girl extra, fingers crossed for that :-)
With a bit of luck, this summer we can put some heating in the renovated room (the floor will be done in 1 month). So, maybe, I have a spare room left to have a basic photoshoot before autumn 2019. Really hoping for that.
For the rest: searching for new opportunities to have a new start or go the a new level with my images.
The help I'm getting is always a push in the right direction.

Update 06/05/2019: At the end of februari, I really was feeling bad. It was the beginning of a long depression. I'm still at home now but hoping to return to work in a month. Being at home is not good to keep my friends/collegues and also not good for the wallet. So, what is this gofundme-campaign still doing for me? Well, the renovation is at a point to have the basics finished. We managed to get half of the floor done and move the old kitchen back. It's already the 5th time this kitchen has been used (in the hose of the neigbours and rooms of our own). It's not perfect but for the first time in 3,5 years, we have again water and a sink in our kitchen.

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If we can save some money to get the second part of the floor done and place some heating, our living room can be moved to the other half of this room (so part kitchen, part living room)

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When we can move the living room, next space will be empty:

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I'm happy with the photography equipment I have (if nothing breaks) but I want to change this room into a small studio. I can have a small desk there to work on my pictures and can use it as a backup for bad weather or in winter.
So, the gofundme-campaign will be used now to remove the broken brown floor, put in a cheap white floor, paint the ceiling white, hanging some new brighter lights and buy a cheap desk. I have to to this with the money I get from donations,and a few small assignments because the family money is used for living of course and getting the renovation done. The "studio"-project is something aside. Maybe it will help to get over my depression.
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Just one goal this year: If I can move in the newly renavated place in my house I have a room free for a basic photostudio. Would be one problem less :-)
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So, in september, I bought the lens I needed/wanted. Canon had a cashback on that lens that expired at the end of september. I used what I gained from the donations together with my savings (for the renovations). It was a real gamble, happy with the lens but no idea how to go on for the moment. Every idea I have is doomed to fail...
First, regain some "lost" money, then have some new ideas to give it a new chance
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OK, update 12/09/2018
My personal life is getting on the rails again. I'm getting the job fulltime I'm doing now. The renovation of my house is steady moving forward now to.
Considering my doubt about my photography, still struggling with that and giving a meaning to it all. I know what I want to be with my art, now it's just getting there. Don't know how but you guys are really helping.
I had a few lucky shots over the past 2 months that gives me almost the possibility to fight for the lens I'm wanting for so long. September is also the month that Canon is giving a cashback. So, in the next few weeks I have to keep fighting and giving my all. Not much sleep and lots of work but maybe...
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OK, this time it's something different. Some people think a donation stands for access to content that can be dubious. To clarify this: the friend images on flickr are not so different from the public portfolio. It contains not underaged girls not viewable for public!!!
The only purpose of a donation is to support my work and as a gratitude, I let you see some extra's from my shoots, nothing special. Thanks for understanding me.
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€885 of €2,500 goal

Raised by 35 people in 17 months
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