See My Kids This Summer

I have not seen my three children in person in two years. The last time I saw them, they each gave me a prolonged hug, one by one, and I walked into an airport in Kansas City to catch a flight back to Oregon.  While I have constant contact with them online, the need for presence is tangible, the long desire to be near them haunts my daily life. The best I can do right now it try to plan a trip to Kansas City this summer when I have my two week vacation.

The Backstory

In early 2016, the mother of my children and I divorced after a lengthy separation. We all lived in the same town in Oregon, but her living situation was difficult.  Her grandmother had recently deceased, leaving her house to my ex's mother.  The offer was made to her to relocate to Arkansas where she could stay in the house with the kids. After difficult deliberation, she made the decision to move to Arkansas, mostly for financial reasons. I helped her to make the move, driving out there with her and the kids.

A few months after this physical separation from my children, I obtained a job, which I still have. In our divorce agreement, I have been paying my ex 15% of my gross income in child support, and 35% of my net income in spousal support. This comes to about half of my net pay. I do not make a lot of money, so I take home for myself about $9 an hour (when I do a lot of overtime), and live month to month. I send the rest to my ex and the kids to help support them. I also invariably end up sending more for various emergency situations that come up. That makes it hard, if not impossible, for me to save enough cash to make a trip to see them.

Another difficulty is the house where my ex and her kids are staying is owned by my ex-mother-in-law. She has made it clear she does not want me to visit there. In order to avoid unnecessary drama, it would be better if I had my own lodging. So the tentative plan is for me to fly out to Kansas City during my two week break in July, and meet my ex and kids there and stay in a motel, take them to do things, and just generally enjoy each others company.

My Kids

I have been very active in my kids' lives up until these last two years. The separation between us has been devastating to me, and I am sure has been hard on them as well. I talk to my eight year old daughter every week and play Roblox online with her for hours. Virtual reality gives some representation of presence, but isn't the same, of course. I Skype with my oldest son often, and he tells me what he has been doing and how things are going in school. I sometimes Skype with my middle son as well, though he his diagnosed functioning autism makes this a little less predictable. 

My daughter holding up the books I sent her for her eighth birthday.

The Need

Basically, I will need the funds for a round trip ticket to Kansas City and back, as well as lodging for myself and my children, transportation and food. To make this tenable, I am predicting a budget of about $3000.

Your gifts to help me see my kids again after two years apart would mean quite a lot to me. I am not sure how I could repay that kind of generosity, but I would definitely keep you updated on the trip as it happens.

I am scheduled to be on leave for vacation at work from July 7 through July 20.