Save a Disabled Artists Livlihood
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Any compassionate listeners left out there? I am in the most dire of situations, and I might not be able to communicate for a while after this. My lifeline, survival, fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it... hangs in the balance.
I've been very sick off and on for the last month, cold/flu symptoms and extreme soreness and fatigue caused by a flare up of my auto-immune disorder that I had been thankfully able to keep at bay with herbs, rest, and diet throughout my more severe illness which I've had for the past nearly 2 1/2 years. My more severe illness, which causes spreading mass growths, mostly throughout my pelvis and skull; was triggered initially by a serious infection that went untreated for 2 years due to being isolated and controlled in an abusive relationship where I was not allowed to seek modern medicine on the guise that my boyfriend "was a holistic doctor" but come to find out, he was not.
Nevertheless, I have long since been abandoned, left in an extremely rural neighborhood with no bus stop, and I am disabled (have been my whole life) and have thus
always required assistance in order to be healthy & successful, as I have in-correctable vision problems from TMJ, and cannot drive. It is so difficult to survive whereI live without ability to drive, that it is against the rules to live out here without a vehicle. I was abandoned by my caretaker, who was under contract to take care
of me and pay me back money he owed me over a several month period. This abandonment took place suddenly and without notice, and the person in question has been
completely off the map ever since.
I had no idea I was going to get left out here alone, but now I have been out here a whole year alone, and I have barely been able to provide for my survival, as I have been getting increasingly ill. I have missed all of my major doctors appointments due to lack of rides. I have looked into all options, and there is no assistance available to me. It is impossible without ability to receive mail, and ability to get to appointments, to get any aid from the government or anything that requires a medical paper trail. I have only been able to get basic medi-cal and only been able to go the homeless "walk in" clinic when I can find a ride.
I don't have any family, they have all passed away in recent years. I was too sick and atrophied to work for nearly a year. I forced myself through excruciating
physical therapy and recovered alone. I reopened my online website store, and made over 100 listings. I spent 2 1/2 months working 8 hour days cleaning and organizing the property where I live in order to prepare for relocation...
But I have never had a job my whole life. I have no references, no credit, no experience. I have also always had heart arrhythmia and shallow breath from half sized lungs. I've had several heart attacks in my life. In other words, how could I be expected to walk 25 miles a day and get a job in the tiny town at the bottom of the mountain, now that I have been sick with a serious life threatening illness for years? This is something that I would not have been capable up, even at my peak of
health.
I force myself through yoga and tai-chi everyday. Its very painful but keeps my body from atrophying again. My regeneration is very slow due to my bogged down immune
system from the invasive mass growths, nerve damage, and auto immune disorder. Its alot of work and takes special conditions for me to be able to maintain.
I am very strong and proud of myself. I have done everything possible within my own power to move forward from my illness and abuse... but I have been stuck in limbo, in the same cycle for a year... and I am never going to be able to escape it "on my own power" alone.
I have been putting out feelers on craigslist and through friends trying to find a place to stay while I get on my feet. I have been through about 30 offers that I thought were solid, and even prepared to move to each of them and felt confident, only to have the rug pulled out from underneath me at the last minute each time; not because of a bad interaction... but in my friend group, it was all because of gossip (nothing with proof or substantiated, but simply because of social discourse)
seeing as too all of my claims have been proven publicly at this point. Secondly, the other reason why I lost so many nearly perfect places to move in california, is because of the sudden economic changes. Everyone that has offered me a place to stay in california outside my friend group has either been secretly trying to get down my pants, or had a sudden monetary stress strike and decide to "ghost" me after stringing me along and offering help.
So, when my partner said he was moving to Portland, I decided to put out some feelers there. Know what I found? Way more compassion. I have only had a few responses,
all of which seem like genuinely kind people, none of which were paranoid or stressing about money or social discourse, and none that wanted to own me or tell me what to do. I have quickly made a support group of kind hearted people in and around Oregon/Washington now that includes some people that I have known for years and whom escaped california for the same reasons. I am not a big city person, I am a small town girl. Small town people help each other out, and I'm disabled.
So, I own a business. $20,000 in irreplaceable arts and crafts supplies that I have saved up from my decade of extreme success vending my art. I did this because I have a shorter lifespan than most people. I was not expected to live past 30 due to my heart problem. I am 35, and its going to be time for me to retire pretty soon, If i am to survive. I own about 20 rubbermaids full of everything I'll need to provide for myself and never get bored for the rest of my life...
That is, so long as I can find some charity to get me moved out of here and onto the next spot. I have found a nice indoor safe place to live near Portland. I can have my own spot and still be nearby my partner, who's love has healed and nourished me back into life.
So, as I've explained to you, I have tried all means of getting out of here on my own, or by my own means. I tried for a whole year, and limped along, did everything I could and thankfully I am alive and somewhat strong again; able to work. But I only make $15/hr on my jewelry, and that would take me working 80 hour weeks for 5 weeks solid and selling every item and not having any other expenses in order to be able to get out of here on my own.
I have until Novermber 29th, at which time my landlord is selling the property and I will no longer have anywhere to store my business and livelihood. I am obligated to be in one place and be able to maintain my inventory from all of my supplies through the next couple of months in order to be able to make the couple of grand that
I will need to survive throughout the slow winter months. If I cannot move my supplies and get back to work, I will have to take my website down and thus will miss out on my Christmas Season, which is necessary for my survival of Janurary & February.
I need to get a Uhaul, and pay the gas money, and get a storage unit 11 miles north of here. This is my only chance. I have been an honest and giving person beyond most that you have ever met. I have been a healer and counselor to many for free my whole life, and have saved many lives. Most of my close companions are also
disabled and thus cannot help me. I have spent my life loving and aiding the disabled, mentally ill, and addicted in charity and compassion. I was an on-call herbal healer and massage therapist and visionary counselor in the bay area for nearly a decade, during that time, I had free healing dance events and donated large amounts of money to charity.
I told the truth my whole life, even when it made trouble. I was raised by a psychologically educated and shamanically educated grandmother, who took me to Ala-non starting at 5 years old, and my mother has a head injury so I was around disabled people my whole life. I started studying to be a medicine woman at 8 years old via the Lakota Nation, and was a councelors aid starting at 12 and sponsor starting at 15. I was never addicted to drugs, and have a completely clean mental health and
criminal record. I have been an advocate of natural & tribal healing methods, and used them to heal people my whole life.
This is my last attempt at reaching out and calling out for help. There is nothing else I can do from where I am at in life. The stresses of running out of survival supplies twice a month ontop of the increasing illness are not going to lessen if I end up on the streets without my means of survival, its only going to worsen; and I am already barely able to move after all the hard work I've done without rest in the past months.
I see people helping people out everywhere for all kinds of causes. I know the means are there. How can I reach the world and say, "Hey, remember me? I serve you and your inhabitants well! I will continue to do so. Please free me from the prison of this mountain so that I may once again walk down a street and make my own!"
There's only 1 option at this point, financial help. My phone is turning off at midnight, I have no means to pay the bill. My phone is the only doorway to the world for me out here. There is no internet, no other phones, no mail. My phone is the only portal from which I can manifest. Secondly, I am nearly out of supplies, and extremely ill, fevery with cold/flu symptoms due to my auto-immune disorder being triggered by recent cleaning of rodent nests.
This is the most dire situation a person could be in. There is no more I can learn from this isolation and suffering. I have bettered myself, healed, gotten stronger again. But all that work and my life is going to go down the drain in an instant if I cannot find the charity to get my uhaul, gas money, storage unit in Portland, and thus arrive at my new home that awaits me with compassion, so that I may heal, work, go to the doctor... and do what is necessary to have a life again.
It starts with paying my phone bill. I never asked anyone for anything until 2 years ago. I will give back, I will be successful again. Please world, give me the chance.
I've been very sick off and on for the last month, cold/flu symptoms and extreme soreness and fatigue caused by a flare up of my auto-immune disorder that I had been thankfully able to keep at bay with herbs, rest, and diet throughout my more severe illness which I've had for the past nearly 2 1/2 years. My more severe illness, which causes spreading mass growths, mostly throughout my pelvis and skull; was triggered initially by a serious infection that went untreated for 2 years due to being isolated and controlled in an abusive relationship where I was not allowed to seek modern medicine on the guise that my boyfriend "was a holistic doctor" but come to find out, he was not.
Nevertheless, I have long since been abandoned, left in an extremely rural neighborhood with no bus stop, and I am disabled (have been my whole life) and have thus
always required assistance in order to be healthy & successful, as I have in-correctable vision problems from TMJ, and cannot drive. It is so difficult to survive whereI live without ability to drive, that it is against the rules to live out here without a vehicle. I was abandoned by my caretaker, who was under contract to take care
of me and pay me back money he owed me over a several month period. This abandonment took place suddenly and without notice, and the person in question has been
completely off the map ever since.
I had no idea I was going to get left out here alone, but now I have been out here a whole year alone, and I have barely been able to provide for my survival, as I have been getting increasingly ill. I have missed all of my major doctors appointments due to lack of rides. I have looked into all options, and there is no assistance available to me. It is impossible without ability to receive mail, and ability to get to appointments, to get any aid from the government or anything that requires a medical paper trail. I have only been able to get basic medi-cal and only been able to go the homeless "walk in" clinic when I can find a ride.
I don't have any family, they have all passed away in recent years. I was too sick and atrophied to work for nearly a year. I forced myself through excruciating
physical therapy and recovered alone. I reopened my online website store, and made over 100 listings. I spent 2 1/2 months working 8 hour days cleaning and organizing the property where I live in order to prepare for relocation...
But I have never had a job my whole life. I have no references, no credit, no experience. I have also always had heart arrhythmia and shallow breath from half sized lungs. I've had several heart attacks in my life. In other words, how could I be expected to walk 25 miles a day and get a job in the tiny town at the bottom of the mountain, now that I have been sick with a serious life threatening illness for years? This is something that I would not have been capable up, even at my peak of
health.
I force myself through yoga and tai-chi everyday. Its very painful but keeps my body from atrophying again. My regeneration is very slow due to my bogged down immune
system from the invasive mass growths, nerve damage, and auto immune disorder. Its alot of work and takes special conditions for me to be able to maintain.
I am very strong and proud of myself. I have done everything possible within my own power to move forward from my illness and abuse... but I have been stuck in limbo, in the same cycle for a year... and I am never going to be able to escape it "on my own power" alone.
I have been putting out feelers on craigslist and through friends trying to find a place to stay while I get on my feet. I have been through about 30 offers that I thought were solid, and even prepared to move to each of them and felt confident, only to have the rug pulled out from underneath me at the last minute each time; not because of a bad interaction... but in my friend group, it was all because of gossip (nothing with proof or substantiated, but simply because of social discourse)
seeing as too all of my claims have been proven publicly at this point. Secondly, the other reason why I lost so many nearly perfect places to move in california, is because of the sudden economic changes. Everyone that has offered me a place to stay in california outside my friend group has either been secretly trying to get down my pants, or had a sudden monetary stress strike and decide to "ghost" me after stringing me along and offering help.
So, when my partner said he was moving to Portland, I decided to put out some feelers there. Know what I found? Way more compassion. I have only had a few responses,
all of which seem like genuinely kind people, none of which were paranoid or stressing about money or social discourse, and none that wanted to own me or tell me what to do. I have quickly made a support group of kind hearted people in and around Oregon/Washington now that includes some people that I have known for years and whom escaped california for the same reasons. I am not a big city person, I am a small town girl. Small town people help each other out, and I'm disabled.
So, I own a business. $20,000 in irreplaceable arts and crafts supplies that I have saved up from my decade of extreme success vending my art. I did this because I have a shorter lifespan than most people. I was not expected to live past 30 due to my heart problem. I am 35, and its going to be time for me to retire pretty soon, If i am to survive. I own about 20 rubbermaids full of everything I'll need to provide for myself and never get bored for the rest of my life...
That is, so long as I can find some charity to get me moved out of here and onto the next spot. I have found a nice indoor safe place to live near Portland. I can have my own spot and still be nearby my partner, who's love has healed and nourished me back into life.
So, as I've explained to you, I have tried all means of getting out of here on my own, or by my own means. I tried for a whole year, and limped along, did everything I could and thankfully I am alive and somewhat strong again; able to work. But I only make $15/hr on my jewelry, and that would take me working 80 hour weeks for 5 weeks solid and selling every item and not having any other expenses in order to be able to get out of here on my own.
I have until Novermber 29th, at which time my landlord is selling the property and I will no longer have anywhere to store my business and livelihood. I am obligated to be in one place and be able to maintain my inventory from all of my supplies through the next couple of months in order to be able to make the couple of grand that
I will need to survive throughout the slow winter months. If I cannot move my supplies and get back to work, I will have to take my website down and thus will miss out on my Christmas Season, which is necessary for my survival of Janurary & February.
I need to get a Uhaul, and pay the gas money, and get a storage unit 11 miles north of here. This is my only chance. I have been an honest and giving person beyond most that you have ever met. I have been a healer and counselor to many for free my whole life, and have saved many lives. Most of my close companions are also
disabled and thus cannot help me. I have spent my life loving and aiding the disabled, mentally ill, and addicted in charity and compassion. I was an on-call herbal healer and massage therapist and visionary counselor in the bay area for nearly a decade, during that time, I had free healing dance events and donated large amounts of money to charity.
I told the truth my whole life, even when it made trouble. I was raised by a psychologically educated and shamanically educated grandmother, who took me to Ala-non starting at 5 years old, and my mother has a head injury so I was around disabled people my whole life. I started studying to be a medicine woman at 8 years old via the Lakota Nation, and was a councelors aid starting at 12 and sponsor starting at 15. I was never addicted to drugs, and have a completely clean mental health and
criminal record. I have been an advocate of natural & tribal healing methods, and used them to heal people my whole life.
This is my last attempt at reaching out and calling out for help. There is nothing else I can do from where I am at in life. The stresses of running out of survival supplies twice a month ontop of the increasing illness are not going to lessen if I end up on the streets without my means of survival, its only going to worsen; and I am already barely able to move after all the hard work I've done without rest in the past months.
I see people helping people out everywhere for all kinds of causes. I know the means are there. How can I reach the world and say, "Hey, remember me? I serve you and your inhabitants well! I will continue to do so. Please free me from the prison of this mountain so that I may once again walk down a street and make my own!"
There's only 1 option at this point, financial help. My phone is turning off at midnight, I have no means to pay the bill. My phone is the only doorway to the world for me out here. There is no internet, no other phones, no mail. My phone is the only portal from which I can manifest. Secondly, I am nearly out of supplies, and extremely ill, fevery with cold/flu symptoms due to my auto-immune disorder being triggered by recent cleaning of rodent nests.
This is the most dire situation a person could be in. There is no more I can learn from this isolation and suffering. I have bettered myself, healed, gotten stronger again. But all that work and my life is going to go down the drain in an instant if I cannot find the charity to get my uhaul, gas money, storage unit in Portland, and thus arrive at my new home that awaits me with compassion, so that I may heal, work, go to the doctor... and do what is necessary to have a life again.
It starts with paying my phone bill. I never asked anyone for anything until 2 years ago. I will give back, I will be successful again. Please world, give me the chance.
Organizer
Je Matheny
Organizer
Boulder Creek, CA
