legal fees against my abuser
Donation protected
This has to be the hardest thing I've done in my life. Revealing such a huge part of my personal life as well as coming forward to say I need help.
In short I am fighting a custody battle with my abuser. Our trial begins August 24th. I am seeking help with legal fees.
In full:
What I've chosen to hide from the public up until this point has been out of respect for my children.
When I was 19 I became pregnant with my high school sweetheart. After our daughter was born in 2010 he became a completely different person. He would choke me, punch me, threaten to kill me, kick me and majority of the time he would do this while my infant daughter lay in the crib in the same room. The abuse started when she was only a few weeks old and continued until I finally left him in 2015.
During the time that I had been public about his abuse people in my life didn't believe me. It had grown difficult to leave him. I depended on him financially and he had manipulated me so badly to have me believe that I couldn't make it on my own.
I had held on hope despite the abuse because I felt I had no where to go and as the abuse grew worse I remained silent because when I had spoken out about it in the beginning no one believed me. No one helped me. On two occasions I had called the police and reports were made and he was arrested. After this he had always held the "third strike" over me when he would abuse me. He would tell me that if I called the cops again that they would take him on a felony and he would no longer be able to provide and I'd be stuck not being able to pay the bills and taking care of our daughter alone.
It was embarrassing to live this double life. I did not want to admit defeat in our relationship I always held onto the idea that he would change. I became pregnant again and in 2013 I gave birth to our son. At this time I presented to the world an image of me as a happy mother an image of being a happy family together. Though I will say up until this point in my eyes the abuse was bearable, it was all I knew. This was my first relationship. He would hurt me and show up with flowers apologizing. He'd tell me that when he would abuse me that he had "lost control" and would blackout and that "that wasn't really him" and he loved me. It was a sick cycle.
In 2014 we moved Washington together, locating ourselves close to Portland, OR. Once he had completely isolated me from my friends and family this sick side that he had to hide from everyone else came out full force. I was receiving physical and verbal abuse daily. A few specific events (there is way too many to list them all) include
1. having my head continually smashed into the wall of my bathroom while dying my hair because he was upset that I had posted a picture on my instagram of me wearing a one piece swimsuit
2. him trying to suffocate me with a pillow and then punching me repeatedly in the back of the head during intercourse
3. being attacked while I was sleeping. This incident was so bad and the worst abuse I had taken up until this point. He left our apartment calling and texting me that when he returned from work that day he would kill me and "he was serious this time" and that "no one would look for me".
At this point I had saved up money to attempt to leave him and ended up using it for airplane tickets that same morning for me and my two small children to go back to my parent's home in southern California. After this there was a lot of moving around. I was able to get an apartment by myself in Portland, OR and our children lived with me until I had ran out of money toward the end of the summer that same year once again due to his abuse. When he was homeless he begged to stay on my couch and I allowed it, it was the biggest mistake I ever made. The abuse I faced during this time led me to financial ruin it was so bad I couldn't work and I couldn't pay my bills.
Since losing my apartment our children have been living with my family. They have been able to live a healthy and relatively normal life because my parents were able to give them a supportive positive environment.
I have made a lot of mistakes. I do admit this but I also must say that I gain nothing from lying about the situation. In fact by hiding the gruesome details of this part of my life for so many years I've only hurt myself and allowed others to uphold my abuser in a positive light.
I did not want my children to grow up watching their father physically and emotionally abuse me on a daily basis or even on a limited scope. I lost everything because of this. My children, my family, my financial stability and myself as well. I am now fighting for rightful custody of our two children. I am willing to do anything that I can and fight the hardest I possibly can, if that means blowing the lid on this matter I've considered extremely private to ask for help then that's where I stand.
Every like, share, dollar and prayer means the world to me. <3
In short I am fighting a custody battle with my abuser. Our trial begins August 24th. I am seeking help with legal fees.
In full:
What I've chosen to hide from the public up until this point has been out of respect for my children.
When I was 19 I became pregnant with my high school sweetheart. After our daughter was born in 2010 he became a completely different person. He would choke me, punch me, threaten to kill me, kick me and majority of the time he would do this while my infant daughter lay in the crib in the same room. The abuse started when she was only a few weeks old and continued until I finally left him in 2015.
During the time that I had been public about his abuse people in my life didn't believe me. It had grown difficult to leave him. I depended on him financially and he had manipulated me so badly to have me believe that I couldn't make it on my own.
I had held on hope despite the abuse because I felt I had no where to go and as the abuse grew worse I remained silent because when I had spoken out about it in the beginning no one believed me. No one helped me. On two occasions I had called the police and reports were made and he was arrested. After this he had always held the "third strike" over me when he would abuse me. He would tell me that if I called the cops again that they would take him on a felony and he would no longer be able to provide and I'd be stuck not being able to pay the bills and taking care of our daughter alone.
It was embarrassing to live this double life. I did not want to admit defeat in our relationship I always held onto the idea that he would change. I became pregnant again and in 2013 I gave birth to our son. At this time I presented to the world an image of me as a happy mother an image of being a happy family together. Though I will say up until this point in my eyes the abuse was bearable, it was all I knew. This was my first relationship. He would hurt me and show up with flowers apologizing. He'd tell me that when he would abuse me that he had "lost control" and would blackout and that "that wasn't really him" and he loved me. It was a sick cycle.
In 2014 we moved Washington together, locating ourselves close to Portland, OR. Once he had completely isolated me from my friends and family this sick side that he had to hide from everyone else came out full force. I was receiving physical and verbal abuse daily. A few specific events (there is way too many to list them all) include
1. having my head continually smashed into the wall of my bathroom while dying my hair because he was upset that I had posted a picture on my instagram of me wearing a one piece swimsuit
2. him trying to suffocate me with a pillow and then punching me repeatedly in the back of the head during intercourse
3. being attacked while I was sleeping. This incident was so bad and the worst abuse I had taken up until this point. He left our apartment calling and texting me that when he returned from work that day he would kill me and "he was serious this time" and that "no one would look for me".
At this point I had saved up money to attempt to leave him and ended up using it for airplane tickets that same morning for me and my two small children to go back to my parent's home in southern California. After this there was a lot of moving around. I was able to get an apartment by myself in Portland, OR and our children lived with me until I had ran out of money toward the end of the summer that same year once again due to his abuse. When he was homeless he begged to stay on my couch and I allowed it, it was the biggest mistake I ever made. The abuse I faced during this time led me to financial ruin it was so bad I couldn't work and I couldn't pay my bills.
Since losing my apartment our children have been living with my family. They have been able to live a healthy and relatively normal life because my parents were able to give them a supportive positive environment.
I have made a lot of mistakes. I do admit this but I also must say that I gain nothing from lying about the situation. In fact by hiding the gruesome details of this part of my life for so many years I've only hurt myself and allowed others to uphold my abuser in a positive light.
I did not want my children to grow up watching their father physically and emotionally abuse me on a daily basis or even on a limited scope. I lost everything because of this. My children, my family, my financial stability and myself as well. I am now fighting for rightful custody of our two children. I am willing to do anything that I can and fight the hardest I possibly can, if that means blowing the lid on this matter I've considered extremely private to ask for help then that's where I stand.
Every like, share, dollar and prayer means the world to me. <3
Organizer
Tawni Obrien
Organizer
Simi Valley, CA
