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Ryans Non- Hodgkins Lymphoma Battle

$14,815 of $25,000 goal

Raised by 148 people in 11 months
Ryan v. T-Cell Rich Diffuse Large B-Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (very rare less than 5%)

It all started with a simple MRI because Ryan's back was bothering him. Results from the MRI showed a pelvic mass (19 cm) and abnormal kidneys which prompted a blood test and CT scan. Two days later Ryan's doctor called and said he needed to get to the hospital right away. Edward Hospital did another CT scan and blood tests to reveal Ryan's kidneys were not functioning correctly and other high levels that were alarming. August 16th is when Ryan's life would change forever. The doctors told him the mass was being treated as cancerous and he would be admitted. 2 surgeries later Ryan and his family were anxiously waiting for results. Unfortunately the surgery at the hospital did not provide enough to give Ryan a solid diagnosis and he would need yet another surgery. All the doctors could say is that multiple doctors are suggesting Lymphoma B Cell and he will need treatment. Ryan and his family are currently still awaiting the final diagnosis and exact treatment plan. Pathology takes a very long time and can be extremely stressful for the patient and their family. Also, lymphoma can be very hard to pin point the exact type. Ryan is a husband, father, son, brother, and friend to many. During Ryan's treatment he will not be able to work and this will put a huge financial strain on his family as Ryan was an extremely hard working individual. All donations no matter the size will be deeply appreciated as Ryan and his family begin the fight against cancer. Please keep Ryan in your thoughts and prayers and know he is sincerely grateful for the support he has received.    
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diagnosis, first chemo and last chemo
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Ryan officially finished his last chemotherapy treatment and is cancer free!!! We cannot thank everyone enough for the support we have received. From donations, meals, thoughts and prayers we are forever grateful for each and everyone of you. Ryan now has to get this chemo out of his system and get back to his health!. 2019 isn't even here yet but it is already starting off positive! Remember if you aren't feeling yourself or notice something different go to the doctor and get those ANNUAL physicals! Thank you again and stay strong!
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Ryan is finishing his 4th round of RCHOP today! Next week he will have his PET scan again to track his progress and determine if he needs radiation. So far he has been feeling okay. Mostly exhaustion, the numbness in this hands and cold sensitivity. Thank you for all the support and well wishes. We are halfway there!!!
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October 16th is the day my husband Ryan chose to shave his head. Tomorrow will be 2 months since we heard that silencing sentance "you have cancer". The past two months have been the ultimate rollercoaster and luckily more good days than bad.

There are a couple things people assume when someone is diagnosed.. chemotherapy or radiation, lost or weight gained and the more common hair lost. The last side effect is why I chose to write this.. from my husband's perspective and my own.

HAIR. We dye, cut, style and even pull it from time to time. Anyone on the planet can easily say they could care less about their hair but I would challenge them. I would challenge them because 1 I love to argue and 2 I think you are bullshitting me and yourself. Yes maybe each individual person takes care of their hair to different lengths (no pun intended) but that doesn't mean it does not play a role in how you look or feel about yourself.

Let me get to the point. Before Ryan's diagnosis yes I would think of hair as "just hair" or it will be okay because it will grow back. But boy let me tell you this journey had changed my outlook. Witnessing bald patches and tiny hairs fallen on a pillow was very emotional even if I didn't let Ryan see me cry. He is dealing with so much and I didn't want him to feel worse about his situation. I did not want him to think anything other than I wish I could take this pain away from you.

I ask you to stop and rethink the next time you think hair is "just hair" and it doesn't mean anything when it falls out in tiny sections or huge clumps in the shower. Hair isn't "just hair" when that is really the only mask from the outside world to not knowing you have CANCER. Hair isn't just hair when maybe before you could live in a day dream of not really thinking you were sick and just on a long vacation from work. Hair isn't just hair when it falls but it's only the start of your chemotherapy treatment and you still have a long road ahead of you. Hair isn't just hair when the last bit of your old and healthy self falls down at your palms. Hair isn't just hair when on top of it all you are nauseous, weak, frustrated, anxious, swollen and still trying to keep your family life as normal as possible.

I must say I did not write this because of any comment at all. I wrote this because while I was staring at my husband shaving the last bit of hair he had he simply looked like the most beautiful man in the world. I want him to know yes it will grow back(no I doubt it will be like THOR), yes this will save us money on shampoo and yes I am excited you won't be taking extra long showers to wash your hair. I want him to know that I know its not "just hair" and it is okay to say "this is really shitty". I want anyone who has or had gone through treatment to know I could not imagine what they go through as an individual but only as a spouse and it is by far one of the most difficult situations I have ever been faced with.

Be compassionate the next time you think hair is "just hair" and if you think the same then I dare you to shave your head... oh and your eyebrows... oh but don't you forget those eyelashes either!! (which by the way may not grow back). Again this was meant in the most kind, thoughtful and helpful way. Just be aware that even though something may seem small to you it can be huge to someone else. Keep fighting Ryan we all love you so much and you are amazing.. hair or no hair♡
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Raised by 148 people in 11 months
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MM
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Michael Malam
8 months ago
JS
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