Life Interrupted: Living with RA

❤  I have an Autoimmune Disease. I'm truly kicking my own butt, but I look absolutely fabulous doing it  ❤

My name is Amanda Estes Hicks. I have been married to my wonderful husband, Scott, for 11 1/2 years. He is my rock, my biggest fan, my loudest cheerleader, my shoulder to cry on, the one who picks me up when I am down...literally sometimes. Zane is our 4 1/2 year old son. He is our miracle. My miracle. The reason God put me on this earth. The reason God keeps me on this earth. He is the drive that keeps me going everyday. He keeps a smile on my face and makes the bad days seem not so bad. I'm for sure God gave me Zane for a reason. God knew I would need him.

Up until a couple short years ago, I was a normal Mommy in her early 30's able to run and play with my son. However, in late 2012, I woke up one morning barely able to move with pain in my entire body. It hurt to move every single joint. I was running a high fever but did not feel sick except for all the discomfort and pain. The doctor ran a ton of tests on me and it revealed an elevated Rheumatoid Factor, an elevated C Reactive Protein, an elevated Sed Rate, and an extremely high iron level. For those unsure of what all these tests results mean, they basically all point to severe inflammation in the body. For sure I had Rheumatoid Arthritis because of the positive Rheumatoid Factor, I was referred to a Rheumatologist. I made several visits to her who also referred me to numerous other physicians to rule out things such as Celiac, Lyme Disease, Mono, etc. However, everything kept pointing back to Rheumatoid Arthritis. But the Rheumatologist just did not think that was the problem because she said I was just so young to have it. After a while, I really just got tired of seeing Doctor after Doctor and I quit going. I did not get better. In fact, I just proceeded to get worse. In June 2014, I lost my job. So now, I was a mother trying to take care of my family and bringing no income in. I forgot to mention above that my husband has been disabled from a massive heart attack since January of 2007. When I lost my job, I also lost my health insurance and went without insurance from June 2014 until January 2015. Needless to say, even though the income ceased to come in, my illness was still there. In that short amount of time, I racked up hundreds of dollars worth of medical bills from prescription copayments and urgent care copayments when I just couldn't put off going to the Doctor anymore. As soon as I got my insurance, I went to see my Primary Care Physician. After running a few easy blood tests and xrays on me, he very quickly diagnosed me with Rheumatoid Arthritis and immediately referred me to a Rheumatologist at the University of Kentucky. I should have been diagnosed years ago, but unfortunately, like many, I was looked over because of my age and that I was missing a few clinical symptoms. Now I wonder if I would be as bad as I am had I been diagnosed a lot earlier. Had I kept on the Doctors, would things have been different? I'll never know that and I truly try not to dwell on it. I have been in treatment there since March of this year. Unfortunately, it can take many months and sometimes a year or longer to find a treatment plan that will work for you. As of now, I have not been lucky enough to find one...but we are still trying. About a month ago, I was diagnosed with a second autoimmune disease called Sjorens Syndrome. It is also incurable and causes many problems. The treatment medications are basically the same as for my Rheumatoid Arthritis except for some eye drops and tear duct plugs. I recently have been suffering from severe dry eyes that caused corneal ulcers. I went last week and had temporary tear duct plugs placed to help alleviate the dryness. I could tell almost immediately the difference so I'll go next week to have the permanent plugs placed. I am now on 12 different medications daily...21 pills totally plus a skin ointment 4 times daily and eye drops twice daily. I went from no medicines at all, to all of these...and it seems new ones are added each time I go to the Doctor.

There were many days I complained about having to wake up early for that hour long drive to work or mow and weed-eat the yard, wash the dishes, work in the garden...just simple everyday things. I complained about a lot of things that I wish I could take back. I am angry and mad at myself for taking all those things for granted. Not only has the Rheumatoid Arthritis and Sjorens lowered my immune system but also the medications (which a few of them are immune suppressants) have wreaked havoc on it. I get sick easily and catch everything coming and going. I try to stay out of public as much as possible but when I do go out, I wear a mask to protect myself.  I have my inflammatory markers and my immune system checked via blood work every 4 weeks. I'm much like a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy. I can't even go to the store without worrying what I will pick up that could possibly hospitalize ome. What I would give to do some of those things now with no help from anyone. To be able to get up and go do something without asking for help. Or to be able to do them all by myself instead of sitting in my recliner watching Scott do them. The guilt is overwhelming. My point is, do not ever take those mundane, boring jobs for granted. You do miss them when you are no longer able to do them yourself. I would give the world to be able to pick up and hold and hug my son. To carry him from the couch to his bed when he falls asleep watching TV. Those simple things are missed. I lost my good health, my job, my income, my ability to care for my family (both physically and financially), I lost my self confidence, and I lost many, many friends. No matter what you may encounter in your life, friends, never, ever take the simple things for granted. They can be stolen awaywe from you in an instant.

We have cut out all non-essential items in our life. We have sold things we no longer need. We have had yardsales to help our income. We coupon constantly. We have even utilized our local food pantry. Anything and everything to save some money. We have a little boy to provide for so sometimes you just have to lay your pride aside and do things you never thought you'd have to do. I have had to do many of those things in the last year. It does not get easier, but you just keep telling yourself that things will get better...hopefully. But nothing seems to get us ahead. Between prescription copayments, physician copayments, gas to and from physician appointments in Lexington, medical bills, and the inability to work, it really hurts us financially. Believe me, I have never ever been one to ask for anything. But at this point, we have no other choice really. We have struggled for over a year and I just couldn't put this off anymore. However, please know that it kills me to do this. It hurts my pride and my heart. I have applied for disability and hope to be approved soon. Believe me, I know the economy is terrible right now and that many are struggling. I do not want to take anything away from anyone so it is not expected for any of you to do so. However, if you are able, anything you could afford to donate would be so much appreciated, even $1.00. And if all you are able to donate to us is prayers, good vibes, and well wishes, we will cherish and appreciate those also. We thank each and everyone of you from the very most bottom of our hearts. We will forever be thankful.