Radiation treameant

For about a year I was going to my doctor and to the hospital trying to find out why my head was always hurting, there was always a lot of pressure and throbbing. I knew something was wrong i just didn't know what and neither did my doctor. They sent me to a back doctor and eye doctor they were just giving me the run around meanwhile I was still getting these horrible migraines. I knew something was wrong the first time I had to pull over because I forgot where I was going and where I was at. August 10 my sons father woke me up because I was crying asking what was wrong, and I just felt like a car was on top of my head it was so much pressure and throbbing I was asking god to just take the pain away. So that day about two years ago I was diagnosed with a large meningioma tumor, they told me I had two weeks to get it out or bad things could start happening or even my life could be taken. I was so scared I didn't know what to do. I had to find a doctor, get appointments and schedule a date for my first brain surgery. All this time I couldn't stop thinking about my son and how I was gonna take care of him and pay our bills and get him clothes, or even be away from him while I was in the hospital was more then enough. Worried sick I still had to have the surgery to be here and be his mommy. Aug 17 2015 was my first brain surgery it went well, my doctor said it was worse then what anyone had thought so they had to leave a piece of my skull off for about two mouths because my brain was so swollen and if he put it back it would of killed me. I don't remember waking up I don't remember the first day after. But what I do remember is I couldn't talk I couldn't remember a lot of things and I was in so much pain. So October 12 2015 I had my second surgery to put my skull back. It was and easy surgery, now it was all over and I just had to heal for about 6 weeks and I could get back to being myself and the mom I was before. About 8 to 9 months after I started to get these horrible migraines again, couldn't see sometime, would forget where I was going, or where I was even at my home home I remember laying on the bathroom floor thinking it was going to be my last day, scared as ever for my baby boy Liam, all I could think is keep fighting he needs you. I knew something was wrong I just didnt want to face it anymore because I wanted to be normal again and go back to everything I could do before my first surgery. I made an appointment with my primary doctors office they ordered a scan of my head and about three days after they call me, with what I thought would be good news but it wasn't so good. They told me I have regrowth of the last tumor. It wasn't so urgent as the first time so I had time to get my thoughts together and time to plan everything out. I had called my surgeon to make an appointment and let him know what's going on. I seen him May 10 2017 he told me "we do have to remove it the quicker the better" he told me that "the smaller it is the easier it is to get all of it." We scheduled for my third surgery to be on May 24 2017. I wasn't as scared this time because my new surgeon was 10 times better and he was at a better hospital and I have been seeing him a year before any of this. Yea I was still a little nervous because anything could happened and my son NEEDS his mommy. So come May 24 I've had my third brain surgery, I had my support time with me and I was ready to be the show on the road. I woke up in so much pain because the tumor was growing down this time instead of up they had to move muscles and cut more skull. But he did get all of the tumor this time I couldn't praise him enough for getting it all. He is such an awesome doctor so nice and caring. Two weeks after my surgery I have an appointment to get my stitches out. Talking to my doctor he is telling me about the tumor I had and that it was a stage two aggressive tumor, and that there was still tumor cells on my brain. He told me that he wants to refer me to his radiation doctor. Before my third surgery we had kinda already talked about it. He wanted me just to talk to her about what it is and get me in the system if it does happen. I go to my appointment and I'm talking to the radiation doctor she is just so sweet and caring, she is telling me what I'm gonna go through what could happen. She also told me she seen my scans and its best if we just start radiation now. I'm in total shock, and now I'm kinda freaking out inside. One of the first things I ask is will I die, she told me she's had millions of patients and none of them have ever died. That was such a big relief for me. I ask how long and how many days a week. I will have six and a half weeks of treatments Monday-Friday. Then I start freaking out again to not see my son five days a week to be away from my sunshine during my darkest days isn't gonna go so well with me if anyone know me they know my son is my world and I'd be so lost without him. I need him to get me through this he's my rock. He's gonna miss me so much and probably be freaking out just as much as myself. Then I start thinking how am I gonna afford to stay here in a hotel or rent a place, or how am I gonna afford the gas to travel to Baltimore 5 days a week and also afford my own bills at home. I'm stressing out about everything now, getting scared. I know how strong I am and I know what I've already conquered, my spirits are sky high. And to have my family behind me and supporting me is just so amazing I really know I'm gonna kick this s**ts a**. Any donations will also be very very appreciated, trying to find a place to stay by the hospital so I don't have to travel five days a week two hours away twice a day. As well as to keep my house hold bills up and make sure my son will be alright. I also know I'm in gods hands and he is protecting me and is right here with me. I pray everything go by so fast and so does my recovery so I can start working on growing this hair back lol. I just want to ask for everyone to keep me in there prayers and tell your friend to keep me in their prayers as well.