Anita's Kids' Fund
Donation protected
Save our Soul… and our Bhangra, Beatles and Bach
Music may make the world go round but my children, now aged just 8 and 10, are being denied half of their heritage in music and every other facet of their multi-cultural background. Not only that, they are being denied contact with me, their mother (primary caregiver for the first decade of their lives), and all of their maternal family.
Born in Germany (Bach), living in the USA (Soul) and the UK (Beatles), my children have 3 passports each and are also 25% Indian (the Bhangra). We lived in the USA for 6 years, then the children and I moved to the UK in 2013 with their father’s permission. He purchased the (one-way) tickets for us, suggested that I enrol them in school, and visited us.
In the UK we had regular contact with grandparents, cousins and extended family. I was able to encourage their involvement in activities that strengthened their understanding of their cultural heritages. But then their father invoked the Hague Convention so back we went, voluntarily, with Orders of Protection and Undertakings to keep us together and keep us safe.
Once back in Arizona the children were removed from me within 72 hours and for 6 months I was only permitted supervised visitation. In April 2015 our divorce and custody was finalised: the children are to reside with their father. We have ‘shared’ legal decision-making BUT if we cannot agree he has the final say. I am permitted to see my children only during school holidays; I cannot afford to live in the US so I will need to find the money to visit three times a year, to rent accommodation and to hire a vehicle (for almost 12 weeks in total). In fact, what this means is that I will not see them again unless and until their father permits them to travel to see me in the UK.
My rights to family life, as a mother, have been violated. My children’s rights to, and expectations of, maintaining a relationship with their mother and the maternal side of their family have been violated. Their understanding, participation and involvement in their heritages (including the languages) is going to be lost. They will grow up without daily involvement of a parent as their father is a commercial pilot and therefore mostly out-of-state, so his new live-in girlfriend takes our children to school. My family’s rights to a relationship with my children have also been violated. The Hague Convention proclaims that it does not primarily consider the welfare of the children: how very true this has turned out to be for my family.
I last saw my children on 3 August this year (2015). I do not know when I will next see them as I cannot afford to travel to the US (and to pay all the other costs associated with a visit); I also cannot afford to pay the attorney fees I have been ordered to pay (half my ex-husband’s costs), half his credit card debt, and the child support that amounts to around 25% of my meagre income.
Music may make the world go round but my children, now aged just 8 and 10, are being denied half of their heritage in music and every other facet of their multi-cultural background. Not only that, they are being denied contact with me, their mother (primary caregiver for the first decade of their lives), and all of their maternal family.
Born in Germany (Bach), living in the USA (Soul) and the UK (Beatles), my children have 3 passports each and are also 25% Indian (the Bhangra). We lived in the USA for 6 years, then the children and I moved to the UK in 2013 with their father’s permission. He purchased the (one-way) tickets for us, suggested that I enrol them in school, and visited us.
In the UK we had regular contact with grandparents, cousins and extended family. I was able to encourage their involvement in activities that strengthened their understanding of their cultural heritages. But then their father invoked the Hague Convention so back we went, voluntarily, with Orders of Protection and Undertakings to keep us together and keep us safe.
Once back in Arizona the children were removed from me within 72 hours and for 6 months I was only permitted supervised visitation. In April 2015 our divorce and custody was finalised: the children are to reside with their father. We have ‘shared’ legal decision-making BUT if we cannot agree he has the final say. I am permitted to see my children only during school holidays; I cannot afford to live in the US so I will need to find the money to visit three times a year, to rent accommodation and to hire a vehicle (for almost 12 weeks in total). In fact, what this means is that I will not see them again unless and until their father permits them to travel to see me in the UK.
My rights to family life, as a mother, have been violated. My children’s rights to, and expectations of, maintaining a relationship with their mother and the maternal side of their family have been violated. Their understanding, participation and involvement in their heritages (including the languages) is going to be lost. They will grow up without daily involvement of a parent as their father is a commercial pilot and therefore mostly out-of-state, so his new live-in girlfriend takes our children to school. My family’s rights to a relationship with my children have also been violated. The Hague Convention proclaims that it does not primarily consider the welfare of the children: how very true this has turned out to be for my family.
I last saw my children on 3 August this year (2015). I do not know when I will next see them as I cannot afford to travel to the US (and to pay all the other costs associated with a visit); I also cannot afford to pay the attorney fees I have been ordered to pay (half my ex-husband’s costs), half his credit card debt, and the child support that amounts to around 25% of my meagre income.
Organizer and beneficiary
Deborah Smith
Organizer
Watertown, MA
Anita Gera
Beneficiary
