Hope for my Dad
Two years ago my father was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. The long road of treatment and invasive surgeries have left Dad, my family, and my extended family drained. Looking back I really think the crisis that broke the camels back for me was when Dad’s wife left him this past summer of 2019.
I got the call while I was driving home from work. I was attending my internship with Northrop Grumman. A feathery tortured voice that I barely recognized as my father’s croaked into the phone that he needed a ride to the hospital. I asked him if he needed me to drive to him now , and of course the stubborn old mule said “Nah don’t worry about it”. Well I did and I drove an hour to see how he was doing. When I got there, Dad was holding his stomach and moaning. He finally decided it would be best if we drove to the hospital. Stumbling and shaking in pain around 30 min later I got him in the car. He was experiencing large abdominal pain. Dad would lose motor control of his hands and would simply shake lying on the couch. You may ask, “Doug why you didn’t drive him to the nearest emergency room?” Quite simply after someone you love has specialized surgery performed and has a unique care team at a hospital like UCLA… You want to get him to the people that are accustomed to his condition. Even though he was suffering, he wasn’t dying right there. Therefore, rather than risk him not getting the care he needed I drove him to UCLA. This is the same type situation that Dad had to go through each time he needed a hospital visit. He laid there in the back of the car moaning softly which for my Dad meant it was bad, hands shaking, and all I could do is keep the steering wheel straight, the car on the road, and listen. I would reach back into the seat and hold his hand but he couldn’t grab mine, it would hurt him too much to squeeze.
Dad’s vulnerability really caught up with me quickly in that moment. I realized that what had been happening while my nose was in my books and at my job was simply unsustainable. Dad had to move. He could not continue to deal with this so far away from care and without anyone physically near him.
My family and close friends have been working steadily to get Dad out to the east coast. This option will provide several better conditions.
1: He will be 3 miles away from my eldest sister Faith.
2: He will be 30 min max from a regional hospital.
3: Finally his cost of living will be significantly reduced.
He moves on Nov 1. Dad’s move has cost our family around $25,000. That amount will hopefully be recouped a little by this fundraiser.
We are focused on making dad comfortable and as less stressed as we can possibly make it for him. He worries about working, and making money. You see, my dad is always the provider. We have tried as best as we can to provide for him. We are hoping with the help of friends and extended family, that we can help alleviate some of the stress and worry.
If you feel so inclined, any amount is greatly appreciated and would mean so much to us.
Thank You
The Steen Family
