Nathan & Monica's Adoption
Dear Family and Friends,
As many of you may know, we have been undergoing the enormous undertaking of adopting a child! Thus far it has been a considerable amount of work, completing tedious paperwork, being held under a microscope in interviews, and doing a lot of soul searching in the meantime. However, every minute of it has been completely joyful and filled with the hope of becoming parents!
Thankfully, we have been approved and seen fit to become parents by the state of New York. Since the approval, things have been moving very quickly! Much faster than we expected. Currently, we are being seriously considered for the adoption a beautiful baby boy just a few weeks old, and separately for the adoption of siblings who are brother and sister, three and two years old respectively.
We come to you now in need of your support! Firstly, we ask for your prayers. Secondly, knowing that adoption can be an uncertain process, there is a possibility the above situations may fall through; we ask that you would spread an awareness to your family and friends that we are open and ready to adopt. If you know of anyone caught in a crisis pregnancy and is considering the gift of adoption, please contact Bethany Christian Services at www.bethany.org/pregnancy-support/contact-us to obtain more information and to arrange a meeting with us.
And lastly, we ask for your generosity financially. The decision to follow the call to adoption, ideally, should not be limited by finances. However, the reality is that adoption is expensive, and without any financial support it would be nearly impossible for us to become parents. With the high cost of city living and having only just finished paying off our student loan debts, it has taken us seven years to even consider adoption financially.
The total fee for the adoption of one child is $27,000, and the adoption of siblings would cost $40,000. This is not counting any unforeseen expenses and the general costs of starting a family. While this fee may seem exorbitant, it covers the salaries of all the caring professionals mediating the adoptions, as well as medical, attorney, administrative and IT fees. But most importantly, it helps women choose life for their babies by supporting them emotionally and financially throughout their pregnancies, and well after they have placed their children in loving homes. Adoption is not just pro-life, it is pro-children, as it not only saves children’s lives but gives them lives worth living!
We believe nothing is impossible for God, and through the generosity of good people like you, we may soon have the opportunity of becoming parents. We hope you will read more information on our journey toward adoption at www.nathanmonicaadopt.com and consider helping us by making a donation.
Please, help make our dreams of becoming parents come true. Any amount would be greatly appreciated! We thank you in advance for your prayers and generous donations. May God bless you immensely!
Love and prayers,
Nathan and Monica Herber
Happy New Year! We are simply overjoyed from the amazing responses from each and everyone one of you. Whether it’s through your personal donations and/or prayers, they have bared much fruit – we even have pictures to prove it (check out the website)!
Many of you have requested an update, and we’ve tried several times, however, many challenges have prevented us from focusing on the blog.
Receiving Caiden into our home was a great joy and an answer to our long awaited prayer. However, from dreaming of adopting a child to actually parenting one was quite sobering! Additionally, taking on an infant with special needs seemed quite “heroic” in our minds, but in the real nitty gritty trenches it was frightening at times. The first several weeks with Caiden were very concerning. He cried inconsolably, his body was spastic, locked in full extension, his fists were clenched tight and he would only look to his left side. The reality of Caiden's condition, somewhat unknown initially, started to become more apparent.
Shortly after Caiden’s birth, he suffered from respiratory distress and consequently had severe seizures. After a two week stay in the Neo-natal ICU, with his birth mother faithfully at his side, Caiden was discharged from the hospital with a diagnosis of Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy and an uncertain prognosis.
Thankfully, Caiden has been seizure-free since leaving the hospital. But after having a reputable neurologist review his medical records and examine him, the neurologist determined Caiden's prognosis to be very poor. In this neurologist’s opinion, Caiden would be severely disabled physically and mentally. He also said there is a slim chance that Caiden's brain could heal and reroute its functions with aggressive early intervention therapies. But we know a doctor who has all the answers . . . the Divine Physician! And we have decided to live in the Hope of a miracle and in the goodness of our Lord’s Holy Will. Living in Hope has taken a daily decisive effort on our part, but we have seen its enormous worth as we witness Caiden make huge strides!
Since enrolling Caiden in Early Intervention Program, in which he has been undergoing occupational and physical therapy 5 days a week, we have noticed great improvement! Caiden now turns and looks out to his right, bends his elbows, brings his left hand to his face, sucks on it and removes his pacifier. He smiles whenever he sees our faces in the morning and after he naps, laughs when tickled or at hearing funny sounds, coos and mimics ooo's and ahh's repetitively! Caiden is definitely a talker; he attempts to talk even when we are feeding him. Caiden is following in the footsteps of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati and climbs up our chests while we hold him and squeals with delight when he reaches the "top"! Caiden loves bath time, dance music and animal sounds—Old MacDonald is his favorite. Caiden is a bit of a home body. He doesn't like unfamiliar places a whole lot and is overwhelmed by loud noises and crowded rooms. We have had to take him out for short bursts and get him use to being in other places. Thankfully, Caiden is finally enjoying his stroller and loves being in grandma and auntie’s homes. Our little man has such a personality—he sizes up strangers and flirts with the pretty ladies! Daddies hang on to your daughters!
The neurologist saw him two weeks ago and was happy to see he has a big personality and has now become cautiously optimistic. Yet we see and experience Caiden defying the odds every day. In the end, we don't place our trust in medical science, but we trust that God has the last word! We believe Our Lord has a very special and miraculous plan for Caiden. He already has overcome a near death experience at his birth by the grace of God we are incredibly thankful for his survival! We can't imagine our life without our son, Caiden Emmanuel. He is our daily reminder that God is truly with us and know that He will see our family through any challenge bringing us into victorious living!
We are immensely grateful for your prayers and support over these last three months. We truly believe Caiden would not be recovering so well without your prayers, personal support, and donations. We continue to rely on your prayers for Caiden’s progressing recovery and as we continue the finalization of his adoption over this next year.
Nathan & Monica
We are overjoyed to announce that we brought our son home last Monday October 19! Thank you so much for making his home-coming possible! We can never repay your kindness and generosity. We count on our Heavenly Father to reward you abundantly for your selflessness!
We have had a crazy week! Only 4 days to prepare for Caiden's homecoming and then receiving him into our family with only the bare essentials. We are so grateful to many of you for the generous donations of all kinds of baby stuff! Thank you!!! Honestly, we would have not had a clue about what was really needed to care for an infant without your great advice and donations/loans of baby paraphernalia!
We are overtired and still scrambling to catch up but we are overjoyed by our little one! In just 8 days we have witnessed little Caiden resist and struggle to get to know us, to relax into our arms and being consoled by our affection and love as if he had always been with us. God is good! We now can't imagine our lives without him. Thank you for making this amazing gift of life possible!
Although, our hearts have been filled with joy by Caiden's arrival, our bank account has been emptied out! However, it must be acknowledged, because of each of you who donated, over $9,000 was raised by the date of placement! That is AMAZING!!! You are amazing! Although your generosity has been truly awe inspiring, we did not quite reach our financial goal and other unexpected costs have arisen. We have had to pay a retainer fee of $2,500 for the birth mom's attorney as required by NY state law, and now we have been told by our agency that we must hire an attorney (a good one) who specializes in adoption to finalize the adoption which will cost us another $5,000 to $6,000. Additionally, Monica is not entitled to paid maternity leave because she did not give birth to Caiden, instead she is entitled Family Medical Leave which will hold her position at work for 3 months without pay.
You have done so much already and we do not want to appear ungrateful. All we humbly ask from you now is for you to encourage your friends and family members to donate and help us overcome the enormous cost of this adoption. Please feel free to share our link on Facebook, email your loved ones, and spread the word in whatever way God inspires you to do so. Also, for those of you who do not have much to give but want to give, please do not be discouraged. ANY amount helps. A $10 donation gets us $10 closer to finalizing our adoption without debt. May God repay your sacrifice!
Regardless of what we raise monetarily, we are so grateful and feel blessed by your love! We continue to trust in God's providence and in his tremendous love and care of us. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
In the Joy of Christ,
Nathan and Monica
We are delighted to announce that we will become the proud parents of Caiden Emmanuel this Monday, October 19th, 2015! Your prayers made this possible!!! Of that we are certain!
Please continue to pray for us as we quickly prepare our home to receive our son. We ask that you pray fervently for his courageous birth mother in all her needs, as she grieves this tremendous loss. She is a good woman and is now a part of our family forever. May the Lord bless her abundantly for the biggest sacrifice of love we can ever imagine possible!
Thank you for your prayers and financial support! Please keep it coming by sharing our story and encouraging others to give to our fund. We will owe close to $18,000 on Monday and we were just informed that we must also pay another $2,500 for an unforeseen attorney retainer fee. Ugh! We were not expecting that! But we trust that God will make ends meet through your generosity or by some other amazing miracle!
Thank you again for your selflessness! Thank you for caring enough to give of yourselves so fully! Stay tuned for pictures of our growing family . . .
We love you! God bless you abundantly!
Nathan & Monica
Thank you for all your prayers and support. You are all an inspiration to us!
We have wanted to send more updates, but we've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for something new to report. Unfortunately, the birth mother, after agreeing to move forward with the adoption, again stopped returning the agency’s multiple phone calls for unknown reasons. It's been very challenging for us. On one end, we already love her child, want to give him the love and care he needs, and desire to bring him into our home permanently. But on the other end, he's not our child and as a result, we have no control or say over his care, medical or otherwise. In addition, the lack of a solid decision by the birth mom this late in the process, makes the upcoming post adoption 30-day “recall” period, mandated by New York State law, seem daunting for us.
Thankfully, our agency has managed to a get in touch with the birth mom and she has finally set the date to sign surrenders, placing her baby for adoption, next Wednesday. If she chooses not to sign, her son must immediately be returned into her care (for which it seems she is unable to manage), or he will be placed into the long-term foster care system provided by the State of New York.
Although, we are cautiously optimistic, we are trying to remain emotionally neutral for our mental wellbeing. It has been a tumultuous and exhausting journey thus far, so we are praying for a final resolution to this uncertainty. Nonetheless, we trust God is in control and has all of us--baby, birth mom, ourselves, and the Bethany team--under His tender care!
Ultimately, whether it’s this beautiful baby, or another child, we know our son or daughter has been chosen for us before the beginning of time. We are confident that God has not brought us this far to leave us ultimately disappointed. No matter the decision next week, we humbly accept the outcome as God's will. We are comforted in knowing this journey has and is preparing us for the most selfless job we will ever be blessed to have--parenthood!
We are so thankful for all your love, prayers, kind words, and immensely generous donations. Your love has been a tremendous consolation. Please continue to pray for us all! But also please encourage others you know to donate to our fund. If this adoption takes place as scheduled, we will have to pay close to $18,000 by next week! (This does not include the $10,000 we have already paid.) We trust God will provide one way or another. But if you feel called to help us, please know any amount you can give helps relieve the enormous financial burden of adoption. May God keep you and reward you for your generosity!
Nathan & Monica