My mom and her fight with cancer
Donation protected
I actually have no idea where to start, but I guess I will just start with some history of who this amazing woman is and why I am asking the community for help. This is my mom's story:
She first came to the U.S. in 1992 when she married my father. My mom's first husband died in an accident seven years prior. She already had my older half sister when she immigrated here and my brother was born soon after. All was somewhat "well" until I was born in 1996. I was too young to remember this but long story short, my dad had a history of physical violence & abuse. Through my siblings' memories, my mom and dad got into physical altercations. He would beat her, leave her bleeding and in bruises. When she wanted to leave him, he threatened to burn the whole house down with us in it. My mom was a strong woman, she knew she had to find a way out. So despite many difficulties, she did. She fought back and took her three children ages 14, 6, and 3 with her, and left. She was new to the U.S. and knew no one at that time. She had difficulty making ends meet as a single mother, but she did it somehow.
For as long as I can remember, mom worked endless nights to make sure her three children had a home to go to, food in their stomach, and clothes on their back. Do you remember back when you were in elementary/middle school and your school would hold donations for food and make boxes for the needy? My family was at the other end of that rope and we were given those donations through welfare programs.
Fast forward to early this year, she was still working day and night, so we could focus on our studies. In 20 years, she never took a vacation because she was always working nonstop. She was working as a caretaker for the elderly as we were studying in high school and even college. She always told us not to worry about finances because she never wanted us to feel like we did not have enough money, when in reality, we didn't. She sheltered us from that worry and kept all the stress to herself. I guess that's how her deterioration started. She was getting old, turning 59 in July.
In March 2017, she was diganosed with uterine cancer stage 1B. The doctors told us we were lucky to find it in the small window since the type of cancer cell she has is very aggressive and usually found during late stages. March 29, she underwent a hysterectomy. We thought that was going to be the end of it since tests showed that the cancer had not spread anywhere else. However, she needed to follow up with chemotherapy in the next month because there is a high risk of relapse.
My mom had to quit her two jobs to heal and her health was better within the first two weeks. After that, for some reason, she was getting weaker. 2 months passed. She could not sleep because her body was aching. She could barely get out of her bed to walk. She was getting frustrated because she felt helpless. After all those years of caring for her children and hoping they will get higher educations, they finally did. In May, I got accepted into USC, and she was ecstatic, but the tuition cost started to haunt her. Even while she was in pain, she worried about how she was going to help pay for my school with her current situation. She just wanted her body to heal, so she could get back up and make sure we can have a somewhat stable income again.
However, her body was not healing. We started going to western doctors and even chinese doctors to see what was going on. They could not figure out what was wrong. They all theorized that her muscles needed time to re-adjust and heal because of her surgery. We were in and out of the hospital, but nothing was coming up.
On June 19, she wanted to go to the ER because nothing felt right. Her jaw was numb and her feet were swelling. We admitted her into the ER, and her blood tests showed that she was anemic. She took several more tests and the doctors finally got results on June 21. The results revealed that her cancer spread to her bones and went into stage 4 in a matter of 2 months. She lit up like fireworks, the cancer had spread to her skull, arms, ribs, and legs. It's everywhere. The doctors expressed that she needs radiation therapy and chemotherapy as soon as possible.
I am here wondering, how does cancer move that fast within 2 months, even after a successful surgery and follow up? I am still trying to process everything and trying to collect my thoughts on what is going to happen. How did the strong almighty mom I know turn into someone so helpless on the hospital bed? Is this seriously what her life is worth? All she did was suffer. When we told my mom, we saw the burden on her face. I have never seen her look so distraught and defeated. I asked her, "What are you thinking about?" and all she said was "I don't know what to think right now". I remember a couple days ago I was helping her onto her bed, she asked me "Mommy's useless huh?". A mother of three, so used to being the head of the household, felt like she was useless because she could not provide for us anymore and she knew her savings were not enough for her or any of us.
So that is where it brought me to make this page. I never like sharing these kind of stories with friends or strangers, but I feel like it has gotten to this point where I have no other choice because we can't afford all of her medical expenses. We wanted to register her into a convalescent home (nursing facility) so she can get professional medical care. I don't want her to feel like she's a financial burden on anyone and I don't want her whole life to be just suffering. At least with these raised funds, she could relieve herself financially and focus on her own well-being, so she can continue to fight.
I understand many people have their own hardships, and if you can't help with donations, you can help with sharing my mom's story. I wanted to let the whole world know who she is, and that her efforts as a strong individual does not go to waste.
She first came to the U.S. in 1992 when she married my father. My mom's first husband died in an accident seven years prior. She already had my older half sister when she immigrated here and my brother was born soon after. All was somewhat "well" until I was born in 1996. I was too young to remember this but long story short, my dad had a history of physical violence & abuse. Through my siblings' memories, my mom and dad got into physical altercations. He would beat her, leave her bleeding and in bruises. When she wanted to leave him, he threatened to burn the whole house down with us in it. My mom was a strong woman, she knew she had to find a way out. So despite many difficulties, she did. She fought back and took her three children ages 14, 6, and 3 with her, and left. She was new to the U.S. and knew no one at that time. She had difficulty making ends meet as a single mother, but she did it somehow.
For as long as I can remember, mom worked endless nights to make sure her three children had a home to go to, food in their stomach, and clothes on their back. Do you remember back when you were in elementary/middle school and your school would hold donations for food and make boxes for the needy? My family was at the other end of that rope and we were given those donations through welfare programs.
Fast forward to early this year, she was still working day and night, so we could focus on our studies. In 20 years, she never took a vacation because she was always working nonstop. She was working as a caretaker for the elderly as we were studying in high school and even college. She always told us not to worry about finances because she never wanted us to feel like we did not have enough money, when in reality, we didn't. She sheltered us from that worry and kept all the stress to herself. I guess that's how her deterioration started. She was getting old, turning 59 in July.
In March 2017, she was diganosed with uterine cancer stage 1B. The doctors told us we were lucky to find it in the small window since the type of cancer cell she has is very aggressive and usually found during late stages. March 29, she underwent a hysterectomy. We thought that was going to be the end of it since tests showed that the cancer had not spread anywhere else. However, she needed to follow up with chemotherapy in the next month because there is a high risk of relapse.
My mom had to quit her two jobs to heal and her health was better within the first two weeks. After that, for some reason, she was getting weaker. 2 months passed. She could not sleep because her body was aching. She could barely get out of her bed to walk. She was getting frustrated because she felt helpless. After all those years of caring for her children and hoping they will get higher educations, they finally did. In May, I got accepted into USC, and she was ecstatic, but the tuition cost started to haunt her. Even while she was in pain, she worried about how she was going to help pay for my school with her current situation. She just wanted her body to heal, so she could get back up and make sure we can have a somewhat stable income again.
However, her body was not healing. We started going to western doctors and even chinese doctors to see what was going on. They could not figure out what was wrong. They all theorized that her muscles needed time to re-adjust and heal because of her surgery. We were in and out of the hospital, but nothing was coming up.
On June 19, she wanted to go to the ER because nothing felt right. Her jaw was numb and her feet were swelling. We admitted her into the ER, and her blood tests showed that she was anemic. She took several more tests and the doctors finally got results on June 21. The results revealed that her cancer spread to her bones and went into stage 4 in a matter of 2 months. She lit up like fireworks, the cancer had spread to her skull, arms, ribs, and legs. It's everywhere. The doctors expressed that she needs radiation therapy and chemotherapy as soon as possible.
I am here wondering, how does cancer move that fast within 2 months, even after a successful surgery and follow up? I am still trying to process everything and trying to collect my thoughts on what is going to happen. How did the strong almighty mom I know turn into someone so helpless on the hospital bed? Is this seriously what her life is worth? All she did was suffer. When we told my mom, we saw the burden on her face. I have never seen her look so distraught and defeated. I asked her, "What are you thinking about?" and all she said was "I don't know what to think right now". I remember a couple days ago I was helping her onto her bed, she asked me "Mommy's useless huh?". A mother of three, so used to being the head of the household, felt like she was useless because she could not provide for us anymore and she knew her savings were not enough for her or any of us.
So that is where it brought me to make this page. I never like sharing these kind of stories with friends or strangers, but I feel like it has gotten to this point where I have no other choice because we can't afford all of her medical expenses. We wanted to register her into a convalescent home (nursing facility) so she can get professional medical care. I don't want her to feel like she's a financial burden on anyone and I don't want her whole life to be just suffering. At least with these raised funds, she could relieve herself financially and focus on her own well-being, so she can continue to fight.
I understand many people have their own hardships, and if you can't help with donations, you can help with sharing my mom's story. I wanted to let the whole world know who she is, and that her efforts as a strong individual does not go to waste.
Organizer
Caroline Lee
Organizer
Monterey Park, CA
