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Single MOM has LIFETHREATENING Disease-Please Help

$1,365 of $10,000 goal

Raised by 16 people in 2 months
Created June 18, 2019








To anyone who wants to take the time to read.
I suppose I’ve waited long enough to not say anything. I wanted to wait for some time so my close family/friends had a chance to take it all in. If y’all know me well enough you'd be aware that I am not fond of discussing how I feel. I’m known to have thick, stubborn, damned-if-you’ll-get-past-me walls all over. If you know me you'd also be aware of how I got to be so guarded. Now I’m about to blurt out all kinds of juicy or not-so great gossip. Ready gossipers because this will be an interesting feed. Ya’ll know who you are.

Seriously though #Facebook isn’t the best place to dump some of my garbage but you know I just don’t feel like hiding anymore. Even better I’m too damn lazy and not sociable. I don’t want to sit down and chit-chat, repeating myself about what the hell is going on. I will just say it and leave it here. I might be a little intimidated of what you will say and/or what you think of me. I always worried myself to death wondering what people say even when I say I don’t. I think we all do, my opinion.

Surprisingly I have very low self esteem yet acting confident. I was never proud. I know at times I've acted like a damn fool with my head up my ass and completely unbearable to be around. Now I don’t want to waste time giving a rats ass.

My time is limited. So...

In January I felt ill and sluggish, not myself. I wasn’t interested in going anywhere other than dropping off and picking up my son from school, an occasional #ScoutMeetings with Boy Scouts of America - Heart of America Council, a grocery store because we do have to eat or else that would be neglect. I wanted to lock myself in a closet, hide under pillows and ignore everyone even my loved ones. So I sat in my house, curtains drawn, with the t.v. low enough so if someone came by they might think I’m not home. I wouldn’t answer the door for anyone. A few tried but most of the time I was asleep or pretending to be. All while my son was at school. I would grab a blanket, pull it over my head then wait until it was time to do my parental duties with love.

After school my son and I would laugh and giggle, play a board game, eat dinner, watch #WheelofFortune get ready for bed, say our prayers and wish for sweet dreams. I am always happy and in a better mood when I'm with my son.

Soon I'm back on that same shitty road.

For two straight weeks I was hiding the fact that I was sick, very sick. I began barfing with diarrhea and developed a super sensitive gag reflex, #GERD and even water wouldn’t stay down. There was a quick break for a couple days then back to barfing, diarrhea, drinking, not eating and not sleeping.
I went to the ER a couple of times and each time I was examined head to toe health concerns were presented, IV with fluids, was low in potassium and magnesium like usual. I went home and returned to my couch to do the same madness over and over again. Barf, diarrhea, drink, don’t eat, don’t sleep, repeat.

Deep down I wanted someone to bust down my door and yank my ass out of that funky funk. Take a hot shower, want to eat, go outside and soak up the sun. I wanted to talk to someone but then again I didn't.

I’m a 36 year old mom with more than your average 15 minutes of fame with nothing to show for but some videos on #Youtube, badass, F***ing curse back @GordonRamsay... I wanna say I gave him his run for his money.
@Masterchef #MasterChefonFOX Season 2, TOP 7/8.

I did manage to keep my super mommy powers going even though I didn’t feel like it sometimes. I love my son unconditionally, I love being his mom, I do my best and always have. I enjoy "cuddle wuddling" with him, preparing our meals together and making sure he is happy. Making sure he is receiving all that he needs even with absolutely no energy left in my body.

I was too exhausted to be tired if you know what I mean. I would say that I wasn’t super depressed but to be honest I was, no reason. So stressed out and not quite sure why, maybe lonely in one way or another. Somewhere down a safe road I started to veer off course and I ended back on the shitty road. Conjuring up my nasty past and harsh seasons. Drinking a little too much, not getting enough rest, horrible insomnia. I stopped eating and some days/nights I didn’t eat at all. That became my new yet old routine.

Time passes. I wait. I pray.

February rolls on by until about the 28th and come out of a thick foggy mess To come to the realization I’ve pretty much been unconscious in the ICU for at least two weeks. I was admitted and I was now a new patient in the hospital and stayed for a little over a month ago.

FINALLY I will share with you what the doctors told me.
I have SIX months to a year to live.

Diagnosis, #endstageliverdisease, #Cirrhosis of the #liver and...

I am dying.

****SEE BELOW for more DETAILS****
This is serious, a serious blow to my head. WTF? Me? Really? Can’t be serious f*cked up conundrum.

I was told that if I wanted any chance to live a couple months longer I must stop what I was doing to myself immediately.

I have to go what occurred because I can’t remember anything. It’s like my memory was wiped clean from January and forward. It’s like my brain isn’t working on all cylinders, not quite firing right.

Doesn’t help that I was given morphine every 2 hours to "comfort me” they said. A small buffer for when I die, to pass over without pain. Doctors waiting to “call time” on my almost corpse. At least I would have no more chronic pain, the pain will be all gone.

Flabbergasted is an understatement, shocked and quite not sure what to think when I saw/heard my daddy. I live about 20-22 hours North from the panhandle of Florida. My daddy, Jeff Corley, drove straight up from #Sopchoppy without stopping. Waiting to hear the unwanted news. My sister Melissa Lihilihi (who previously lived in Hawaii) and my Grandma, Mary Williams (residing in Texas) came as soon as they heard. People who haven't been in my life or my sons life for so long.
Relatives whom I have barely spoken to and haven’t seen in at least over 5 years to a decade or more. Grandma has been close by though, through thick and thin,
My son and friend Jonathan were also by my side.
Everybody watching me deteriorate, slowly perish.

This truly saddens me, upsets me on the inside.

I’m so unaware of what was happening to me with my eyes closed and resting peacefully. I vaguely remember seeing my loved ones just blurry bodies and faces. I recognized their voices and I think I had a few glimpses of reality.

Somewhere in my hospital room I can remember finally eating which was a relief to all because it had been so long since I had eaten without throwing it all back up. Like I said I couldn't even keep water down let alone food.

I apparently requested a ginormous cheeseburger with loads of bacon, cheddar cheese, sautéed onions, mayonnaise, mixed greens, mushrooms, tomatoes, topped with fried onion rings with smoky BBQ sauce and spicy honey mustard. That probably gave me ascites in it’s own but it was damn good. Not bad for my last meal I thought. I don't believe I kept it down for very long. Lactulose will definitely assist you there.

Strange to think about those days that I didn't have any memory. I truly am drawing a blank. I am dying and I am not even aware. I didn’t even have a chance to say anything, to express my feelings, to make sure my son and loved ones knew how much I cared for them. I didn't have the chance to ask for forgiveness to the people I've hurt or disrespected. No bucket list.
I laid there going in and out of consciousness, clueless.

All of this is confusing and bewildering.

What happened? I can’t 'literally' be dying, could I?

One day I thought I was fine, I was doing well, healthy and then the next day death was waiting nearby and I am need of a #livertransplant, soon.

My acute Hepatitis panels are negative which is good, no hepatitis. Positive for Ascites with hepatic encephalopathy. I have a well-distended, bloated stomach and abdomen; an enlarged gallbladder and a very enlarged spleen known as #Splenomegaly. My spleen measures 15.7 cm, max is 20cm.
The spleen worries me. I can’t get hit, squeezed too tight or fall at all because I could easily rupture my spleen and gallbladder.

I had three extremely painful ascites #acitesparacentesis’. With a painful stick with Lidocaine followed by a large needle and catheter a tube is inserted in my lower abdomen (say your panty line) to suck the ascites fluid out. They got a little over 30L of fluid from my abdomen which is a seriously large amount of fluid. I recall that procedure because I was required to be wide awake, I had to feel everything.
I had to tell the doctor/specialist when I’m in pain because that means they’re about to clip my intestines. After the third ascites paracentesis I wanted to punch the living turd out of the doctor performing it. I didn't of course but I never wanted to have that procedure done again.

I was given and am a patient with Hospice care. I have Palliative care with a RN, a Social worker, Physical therapy, Occupational therapy and they all visit me twice a week. Presently the visits have decreased to once a month each.

I have multiple doctor visits, tests and monthly blood drawn. My veins are so worn out, hard and busted its almost impossible to draw any blood out of me.

I had jaundice for a few months but thankful it has gone away for now. I didn't realize I had jaundice for a while months until I looked at a mirror in a public restroom and was startled by my coloring. I hadn’t noticed I suppose.

I have blurred vision that varies. I can't bend down or especially kneel. My knees are in such intolerable pain with my joints simply am unable to. I have vertigo and I’m so unbalanced. I am known to fall; I’m a huge fall risk.
Dizziness brings nausea and nausea means, you guessed it, more barfing which means more medication (Dissolvable Zofran). I can't complain about that Zofran because it works.

I am taking a lot of medications (about 18 plus prescriptions) daily. I ask for dissolvable or gummies because I have a hypersensitive gag reflex. I have a daily regimen of taking lots of Lactulose, diuretics, MiroLAX, Fiber, high amounts of Potassium and much more.
I was taking Oxycodone for a month until they replaced it with Tramadol. I’m not allowed to have any opioids in my system. It’s a requirement for any liver transplant. I have random blood and urine tests every month, must wean off the opiates if any 8 and continue all treatment required from my liver specialist(s). The medications don’t come close to relieving any of my pain and I’ll still have the pain all over.

One of my major, important pills I take is $3000 minimum for a 30 day supply that I take 2x daily!! NO joke. That sucks.
Some of the other medications easily cost over $100-$200 etc. Thank the Lord for some governmental health insurance or most likely I’d be six feet under.

I have been in chronic pain for more than about a decade that people never noticed. Painkillers don’t really help me at all.

The year 2016, I somehow managed to get 3 stress fractures in my right foot and wore a boot for a year or so. I had $150 paid out of my pocket not to mention the amount I paid for the office visit. I have had 2 concussions within the last four years. 2015 in California I literally flipped a quad (four wheeler), an inch over my head and body on a super steep cliff wedging me between the quad and a giant tree. The next concussion was about 2018 when I was mowing along a fence line and a huge tree branch/trunk fell on the exact same spot as the first. They were left untreated. I have intense migraines horrid night terrors, hot/cold flashes and again memory loss.

I need assistance to do most anything and everything including help with baths, preparing food, opening stuff. even writing.
I can not be as active I was before and I can become very sick even fatality with any infection, cold/flu due to my immune system being all jacked up.
I’m suggested to wear a mask everywhere I go and sometimes at the house so it’ll help protect me from catching any other disease.

I can't really cook because I might chop my fingers off, I shake so bad and I can't stand or sit for long. I get violent tremors and/or twitches that make me involuntarily convulse. I am not a fan of the twitches because some of them are so violent and not at all plateau. I have literally thrown my phone out of my hands because of them. It feels like my heart stops for a brief moment. I have become so weak that it's difficult to lift this lap computer.

I’ve had a colonoscopy, endoscopies, a handful of ultrasounds, nerve damage tests, I can't remember the name for the procedure but I recall needles being inserted on my right side from toes to waist, a couple of CT scans and a MRI recently. My pain never goes away both mentally and physically.

Some good news though I applied to #MayoClinic requesting to become their patient. This would be a huge blessing for me and my little family.
You're basically walking into one of the best healthcare facilities with research teams, their own group of specialists, doctors who will work around the clock to assist you and the care is tailored to what you need. You have about a minimum stay for about 1-2 weeks and during your stay you will discuss the problems/issues and they'll research what's the best treatment for you.

Funds are needed to rent a RV or van to have someone drive me to the nearest Mayo Clinic if I am accepted as their patient. I am hoping for a RV because I need to use the restroom more than your average person and the ride would be a little more comfortable to ride in. It's difficult to ride in anything really; fill manholes bouncing transportation including gas, lodging, following my strict low-sodium diet.

The donations will bring some ease to my mind. With the generous funds I would like to set aside some money for my son's education. I hope to have enough funds to pay off the bill(s) , hospital visit(s) and my funeral costs when I pass away.
I would be disappointed and disgraced if my son had to watched me slip away then turn around an with any collectors and bills. I don't want my kiddo to experience anything like I did growing up.

To this day I haven't even started to grieve like someone should or found any trauma therapy. With any traumatic event or abuse that I endured I tried my hardest not to show emotions, not to cry. Don't wallow in your tears. I was guarded, shielded, confrontational, got in physical fights and lost any desire to be happy or let someone know I cared about them.

High school wasn't easy for me. So many rumors and lies about what I did or didn't do. I was ugly and skinny but very intelligent and blunt.

In my younger years I was a cheerleader and even a Captain, hands up for the YellowJackets and the Ninjas (recalling our little tag football teams name).

I had a poem nationally published and won an award for it.
That made me proud.

I played on the Varsity soccer team and got kicked off the varsity team for having too many red cards, bad language, imagine that and not the greatest attitude. I was eventually allowed back to play the following year but on junior varsity. It wasn’t the same anymore. My team would practice at the same time the varsity played and I co

I played in the percussion in my high school Marching Band, I was a fast as hell runner in Cross Country along with Track and Field. In fact I was asked to train for the #Olympics by my P.E. coach, Mrs. Kennedy, a strict but caring, tall black lady. I really liked her, she pushed me, tried to get me to see my own potential. She challenged me in a positive manner.

I was a member of FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America). I excelled in computers and was a fast learner.

I played classical piano for nearly ten years, was very talented and playing came easy to me with no of little effort. My piano teacher, Mrs. Michelle Snow, would get so upset with me. She would constantly tell me “if I would only” practice more I’d reach my full potential. I even looked up to #Yanni, lol. My mom has a little crush on him too.

I studied with ease criminal justice and loved anything forensics. I was obsessed with criminal shows like ‘Law and Order SVU’, ‘The Forensics Files', ‘Criminal Minds’, Doctor G’ etcetera.

I was given a full scholarship to DeVry University. The recruiters came three separate times, gave three attempts from the same two recruiters who drove from Orlando to #Sopchoppy. The only thing stopping my enrollment is because I didn't get parental permission.

I cried.

I dreamed of becoming an architect, concert pianist, artist slash embalmer focusing on forensics, criminal justice and snipper shooting (must have been the Air Force brat in me).

I don't think I was ever afraid of the dead, I think I was frightened of people.
I don’t think I’ve ever really shown much emotion. I held everything inside.

But but tragedy occurred, a powerful trauma, something that was not foreseen. The death of my 34 year old mom. She was a single parent with three kids. She worked as a substitute teacher at my high school. Everyone really liked her especially when she wore her bright, colorful, NEON, high waisted, super fitting, size 0-2 #Wrangler jeans.

I know how it feels to lose your mom, your parent or guardian. The following year in the same month, January, I lost my Ma-maw (Grandma's mom on the maternal side) as well.  Let's say January is not the families favorite month of the year.

She committed suicide. I was 15 years old.
———————————————————

The underlining issue can’t be solved overnight and possibly not at all. This is extremely difficult for me to understand. I am asking for prayers for my son, for my family, for my friends, for anyone with liver disease.

Life isn’t fair but it’s never too late to make the best of what’s left of it and enjoy life as much as you can. Surround yourself with good people, people who care, people who make you feel awesome. Absorb every second with your kiddos even the bad ones.
Didn't think I would ever be writing about any of this or telling all of you so much private information.

I am a survivor of  horrible acts involving human/drug/labor trafficking (see United Against Human Trafficking), domestic violence (see The Willow Domestic Violence Center), rape, sexual abuse, trauma due to suicide, mental/physicalAbuse, discrimination, PTSD and even more.

Please if you can help me with this deadly disease cirrhosis of the liver American Liver Foundation I would be so very thankful. I understand some people are not able to and that's okay too.

There are mounds of hospital bills I can't afford to pay. I don't have the means for all of this nonsense. Insurance covers but only some. Doesn't help when you're signed up under the wrong benefits. Somehow I haven't had full adult medical just women's health, ARGH. I am in the process of fixing it and signing up under the correct insurance. Of course it’ll probably take another two years until I'm covered.
Babysitters (of course are not free) and they are needed when I have appointments since I need to have someone with me at all times.

One example of one of the bills I must pay soon is for a hospital stay(s) $7500, another is $942 and another for about $1500-$1700. I have a few hundred in my bank account and that's it.
I need funds for transportation to and from doctor visits, medical supplies, hospital. Some bills have already been sent to collections.

I still put on a smiley face for my favorite person in the whole world, my kiddo.

#METOO 

I hope all this made some sense, lol.

I’m heartbroken but I have to remind myself that I am not lost, I am found. Baptized again, washed clean of my every sin.

For God has a plan for me, for all of us, to prosper not to harm us. He has plans to give me hope and a future, Jeremiah29:11.

Say your prayers, be courteous, generous, mindful to all.
Thank you for taking the time to read all my gibberish.
May God bless you.

Say what @EllenDeGenerous would say,
"BE Kind to One Another"
TheEllenShow

Pray. Amen. LOVE ALL.
Thank you, thank you.


****From the Top****
I was told I have 6 months to 1 year to live and they weren't joking and I am serious. It hasn't been quite 6 months yet but it's looking like I will surpass it. That doesn't mean I can do whatever I want. This means that what I have changed in my lifestyle, which is everything, is helping. Plus all the prayers and kind words are uplifting, helps me keep trucking'.

So you're gonna have to deal with me sticking around a little longer, ha.
I understand if I confused anyone about everything that’s happened to me since I my diagnosis with #Cirrhosis.

#Pray. #Love.

https://twitter.com/chriscorleymc2

Christine Corley
MasterChef on FOX Season 2

Thank you
#GodBless

GoFundMe page:
www.gofundme.com/f/mom-needs-donations-medical-fight-cirrhosis

If you prefer not to donate a different way as in check, money transfer etc. please let me know by private message.
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You watching and waiting. I eventually borrowed a door lock from Alyssa and changed the locks so I could get out of the house. I used the public telephone booth in the renters office. phone that was located down the hill.

After the police over day after day to harass me. Apparently all they wanted to desperately was was his laptop. It had incriminating evidence about our sons father and his grandfather regarding tax fraud, cost of living evidence, photos and facts of their scams for making money, etc.

Would you trade your child for your laptop knowing you have the funds to purchase a new one?

Prayers were answered when the father placed my son in the doorway of our house a day before court. I snatched him up and have never let go. He tells his friends (friends I introduced him to!) and everyone that we don't even exist! He says we were never engaged although he proposed to me on the Eiffel Tower in July 2010 and come the ring was fake), he simply says we never had a son together. At some point @JenniferCapriati stepped in and was accused of whacking him in the head at their gym while he hid in the bathroom scared (probably loudly crying) to death calling the police stating she was stalking and such I think she hurt his feelings. He continues to this day to spread lies about me as a person.

He recently decided he wanted the child support to be deducted from $473 to $282? His spending habits are outrageous. So guess I won't be getting any child support from that guy. My son grows up without a father.

That's another constant battle I have to deal with. I need to HIRE a LAWYER as soon as possible to pursue him so our son gets what he deserves. I won't and unable to forget what happened. I am forever changed because of what they did to me and my son causing my PTSD, depression, feeling of unworthiness, anxiety. That escapade makes me sick to think about.
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I know it’s been a little bit since I’ve made an updated, it’s #difficult for me to post everyday.

I had an appointment with the #Colorectal #Surgeons few weeks ago to have my #hemorrhoids looked at and hopefully removed. They are very #painful and cause #inflammation, my first dose of #constipation and difficulty sitting down (on a butt pillow).

After 2 #Fleet (such delightful #enemas) which nobody I know enjoys them, a few ‘run’ to the bathroom moments (don’t worry, I made it), spats of explosive #diarrhea or nada. I’m left trying not to push but can’t help but #strain.

I had a #MRI and a #colonoscopy a month or so before this happened. Exam showed signs of #fecal #retention and the #specialist(s) have said that I’m basically full of #shit.
Hell I could of told ya that, haha.

I thought it was time to head on over to the Surgeons office. That was a #tough ride to the place because I’m trying to hold everything in place bouncing around in a truck swerving meanwhile hitting a dozen potholes.

They looked, inspected my rear and confirmed I have #multiplehemorrhoids. Again I already knew I did thank you. I had some #internally and #externally that had #ruptured (**another #ER visit) and is turning into a #cyst.

I asked what they could do to #remove them and found out there isn’t anything at all, not even surgery. It’s too #risky for #surgery for me and told I should to just learn to live with it.
To say the least that was not one of my good days, this sucks but hey I am #alive, #uncomfortably #alive.

While #waiting for the #appointment (Colorectal) for about a month I had to go back to the **ER again because I had the possibility that I could be #bleedinginternally. What had occurred was one of my hemorrhoids ruptured and
I was having rectal bleeding.
It was a good call but geez.
So no hemmys surgery and another #bill.

I’m going to #reapply to the #Mayo Cljnic again with my fingers-crossed, #praying.
I’ll keep writing as much as I can.

Oh! I started going to a #chiropractor recently to see if that would help relieve some #pain. I’m #skeptic about chiropractors and get #anxiety thinking about how easily it could be to break my neck like in the movies **scrunch**.
I can #pop my own back and neck but boy not like they can. They can find shit I never knew popped!

I will continue the search for #answers.

Please #share my story and #donate,
#God bless. Pray. Love.

I’m thankful for all of you!

Picture is my daily, 3x a day, routine medication intake.
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Hello everyone well I received the news about #MayoClinic and I regret to inform all of you that I was not selected to be a patient of theirs. Here is the email sent to me from Mayo stated:
"We appreciate the confidence you have expressed in Mayo Clinic and thank you for your recent request.
The Division of General Internal Medicine in Rochester, Minnesota has received your information. Unfortunately, demand for our health care services exceeds our capacity. We have thoroughly reviewed your provided materials to determine if we can add further value or treatment options to your care. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you an appointment at this time. Please know decisions like this are not easy, Mayo Clinic strives to provide the best care possible to all of those in need. We recommend you continue your care locally.
This e-mail was automatically generated from a non-response mailbox. Please do not reply to this email."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I won't let this defeat me. It stinks yes. Guess there is too many people in need as well. I will answer their essay questions again and I will resend until I am accepted. Suppose I could annoy the crap out of the person applying/denying requests with repeated letters, ha.
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I'm in shock, in complete shock. Everything has happened so quickly my heads still spinning. I don't know what to say or tell people who ask me what's happened, what's wrong?

I feel like I've let my loved ones down by becoming ill; not just ill like a flu/cough that goes away, a terminal and incurable illness.

One day I was fine, I seemed fine and the next I'm in the hospital bc I'm in pain not knowing I was dying, past my death bed, I damn near fell off.
I vaguely remember anything. I remember going to the hospital for some fluids. For a few weeks I didn’t eat or drink yet I drank what I wasn’t suppose to and lots of it. I had been to the hospital two, three times prior.

I thought I had only stayed a few nights in the hospital to be told I was actually in the ICU and had stayed a little over a month. I thought to myself “wow, I could have died, passed away and not even know I did, no light, no flash before my eyes, no memories or no premonitions I was just blank."

What would people say? React? Should I feel sadness, anger, embarrassment, grief or happy? I’m not quite sure I'm just unemotional.
Some of the same feelings I had when my mom died.

It's not the "I don't have feelings" it's more of an unaware consciousness of disbelief.
I don't imagine what my loved ones would go through or feel, I couldn't fathom and especially my child.

There's so much more I could say... to express how I felt and feel now, #overwhelmed.
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Raised by 16 people in 2 months
Created June 18, 2019
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