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Legal & Living Expenses

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I am an American woman living in England with a 4 year old child and a survivor of domestic abuse. I am in need of funds to pay for a lawyer for portions of my case. I have acted on my own behalf for portions of it, but simply cannot do it all. I am hoping to raise £7000 to cover legal and help with living expenses.

For 3 years, I have been trying to leave my abuser. The first time I tried, after the first time my abuser laid hands on me, the responding officers told me: "That's not really abuse now, is it?"

Unbeknownst to me, my soon to be ex husband had told responding police officers that I had an unmedicated serious mental illness and was unstable.

They believed him despite my reasonable demeanor.

The officers insisted this was a custody matter, not an abuse matter, and this particular argument was forwarded quite often when I approached the police throughout the years. (ala: You have a custody issue, not an abuse issue)

Incidents similar to this occured over the following 3 years. To the point that all agencies simply "decided" that we were simply in a dysfunctional relationship, and wrote us off as co-abusers.

As is typical of an abuser, (I have only learned in recent months) he manipulated people, police, social services, doctors, agencies and anyone who would listen to convince them that it was he who was being abused.

In one of the worst examples of this, after I'd finally made some progress with the police in 2016, and they'd arrested him and the courts had issued an official DVPO (domestic violence protection order) against him, he somehow managed to convince agencies involved that it was HE who was the victim. He was able to gain services from barristers and solicitors. In court proceedings following the protection order, where he had representation and I did not, and I attempted to get a non-molestation order and occupation order - I failed.

The court actually found at this hearing that it was ok for him to swear at me and call me names for 13 minutes solid (I did not say a word) as the "subject matter was not unreasonable" and that he can shove/push me so long as "he pushed past" me - and they adjudged that to not be "aggressive". I was not granted any orders, and was forced, again, to co-habitate with this man.

I had no lawyers for this hearing, despite having been involved with DV (domestic violence services) for more than 2 years at this point and being the party who was in possession of the DVPO.

I have sought refuge twice, and been to homeless hostel once. I am not eligible for benefits, and the local authority has refused to fund refuge since I originally left in 2015.

The local authority became involved when, in November of 2016, my abuser had me arrested from a sound sleep on fabricated accusations.

He did this because I was set to hear about a job I'd interviewed for (part time/flexible/good salary) the next day. The interview had gone well, the job required an enhanced DBS check (it was working with vulnerable adults) and the day before I was meant to be offered the job - the ONLY way to stop me working was to have me arrested.

Which he did. He phone the police after my son and I (with whom I co-slept at the time) went to bed. He told them I'd "assaulted him with a bundle of papers" and, that I was an unstable mentally ill person (again). They woke me up from a sound sleep and arrested me.

After this point, all agencies labelled us as "mutual abusers", the local authority became involved and put us on a child protection plan.

I've done my best to put forth the reasons as to why I cannot leave the home, and the various attempts I have made to leave the home. (Please see the update about immigration status).

Last March (2017) I filed for Leave to Remove and Divorce. I have done this on my own, as I do not have the funds for a lawyer, and previous attempts to fundraise had fallen flat.

Our first hearing did not happen until January 24 of THIS year (2018). At that hearing, the Judge ordered a section 37 report from the local authority assessing whether or not they would take my son into care.

They decided to start proceedings for it, citing mental health, and, during the process - my ex made some absolutely INSANE accusations against me that essentially triggered a duty by the local authority to take some kind of action. I don't think they believe any of it, or they would have still taken him into care once my ex agreed to move out. They did not. They left my son in my care, pending the outcome of assessments.

All this considered, I now have to upkeep the whole house on my own, as my ex refused to turn over the lodger income or child benefit to me, so I must defer any income I have to upkeep the home now and now I desperately need help to cover legal expenses.

Or, conversely, if you prefer to look at it another way, I need help to upkeep the house so I can pay for the lawyers.

My ex is now under direction to see our son under supervision and is ordered to undergo drug testing, so I am very very restricted in terms of working now, so I only have the hours that he is at nursery and the childminder.

Organizer

Allison Rosenstein
Organizer

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