Help Ma-An Search for her Biological Family
My name is Ma-An and I am 30 years old.
Four months ago, I embarked on a journey to find my birth mother and biological father.
I was born in The Philippines in 1988, to a twenty seven year old woman, who would find her life circumstances difficult to care for her child. At eight months old, my birth mother gave me away. I would be cared for by my adoptive father and his family until I was three years old. At three years old, my adoptive father and his siblings left for Canada to attend their father's funeral. He would leave me with his sister-in-law and her four children for the next 5 years. After his sister-in-law and three of her children also moved to Canada, I was left with my aunt's eldest son who had his own family care for me, until a year later, at nine years old, I too would move to Canada (1997). 
I spent 30 years, without a mother. A broken relationship with my adoptive father and his family. An outcast, of the family. Blamed for being different, and having my own mind, has severed all possible relationship with my now estranged adoptive father. It has been seven years since I last had any sort of relationship with my adoptive father. It has not been an easy upbringing, even spending a year and a half in foster care.
I am now a mother of three, and married to a good man. But there's still this part of me missing. The loss, and grief of not knowing who you were before what you've had to become is an unsettling and life changing question. I wonder what the first chapter of my life was. If my mother loved me for those eight months she still kept me. If she had known she was always going to give me away. If it was a difficult decision to give a part of her heart away. I wonder, and wonder, all these years. WHO AM I? WHERE DO I COME FROM? WHY WAS I GIVEN AWAY? DID THEY LOVE ME? WAS I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? DID SHE WANT ME? HAVE I RUINED HER LIFE? WHERE ARE THEY? All these questions to wonder, but never have an answer to. 
Four months ago, I found the courage to seek those answers. Though I am uncertain that these questions will all be answered, or that I may find what I am searching for. I am hopeful, that with my trying, I may find a piece of me where it all began.
This campaign is to help me find my birth family. This is to fund my travel back to where I was born, and to seek the truth and to uncover secrets that are being kept from me. I am hoping that with every little help that I may be granted by your kindness, that I will one day be able to go home and find traces of who I am, where I am from, and to find the pieces of my life that I have missed out on for 30 years. 
I know it is a huge risk. I know I am not guaranteed anything in this search. I know it is a hard journey. But I have been through some of the hardest things in my lifetime , and if there was anything more I could give my efforts to, is to find my roots and experience my story from a different light. To find hope, to find joy, to heal, to grieve, to know who I am before I've had to be someone else. 
The bond I share with my children, is that very same bond that I've been cheated from. How do you love with all of who you are, if you don't know who that is? While motherhood shares so much joy and love, it is one I struggle with because I never had my mom. I may not find those pieces back in its place, but I am hoping if I do find her, that I can heal those pieces that have been broken.
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"Where are you mom? I’m looking for you. I have always looked for you. My heart it hurts, but it hurts because it misses you. Where are you mom? Do you still want me? Have life been a little easier, because you just had yourself to care for? Did you find love? Did you have more kids? What do you smell like? Will I remember, as soon as I meet you? Your voice, will it bring back the early moments of life in your womb? Your touch, will it feel just as soft, and comforting the way mom’s touch feel? Where are you mom? I’m looking for you."
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Information:
Birth Mother's Name: Susan Diaz Palma
Birth Mother's Age at Relinquishment: 27
Birth Mother's approx Year of Birth: 1961/1962
Birth Mother's Approx Age now: 56/57 Years old
Birth Mother's Originally From: Tondo, Manila
Birth Mother Moved to: De Lahar, Pampanga, Philippines
(now known as, Bacolor, Pampanga)
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Adoptive Father's Name: Ricardo Manlangit (Ric/Ricky/Carding/Cardo)
Adoptive Father's Age in 1988: 42
Adoptive Father's Hometown: Tondo, Manila, Philippines
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My name is Ma-An Palma Manlangit
Born: 1988
Age: 30
Relinquished Age: 8 Months
8 months - 9 Years old Lived: Tondo, Manila
9 Years old - current citizen of: Canada
I don’t have a lot of information surrounding my relinquishment, nor do I have any legal adoption records to go by to head to any agencies for information in the Philippines. I was not adopted through any agencies or orphanages in The Philippines. It appears my adoption story is one common in the Philippines at the time it happened, and even now. Adoption within the poor communities is one done without any paper trace as a means of easy transactions. Thus making it that much more difficult to find leads.
I have done Ancestry DNA but have only come up with fourth cousins too far down the line to know who my birth parents are. Having very little information to go by, it is one difficult to do from oceans away. I am truly hoping that by sharing my story with the world, that it may somehow reach her and find me the help I need to complete this journey.
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I am hoping you would help me and extend your kindness and generousity my way. I can't tell what this journey truly means for my soul, but I know that these last four months have granted me so much hurt and wonder, that the loss and grief feel overwhelming. But there must always be hope.
I don't expect you to give more than what you can. Even if it's $5, it helps! Every little bit helps!
Please donate, and share my story (Facebook Search Page ), in hopes that it may find its way to her or those who may know her.
Blog: BlackSheepMars
Instagram: maan.adoptionjourney
I thank you, for your generousity and kindness from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you, for reading my story and carrying a piece of me in your heart.
xo, Ma-An
