Legally Protecting Our Boys
He has been mostly absent from our sons' lives since he walked out in 2011, with only rare phone calls and annual (supervised) long-weekend visits. He has been more active in my own life, with his occasional crusades of drunken, abusive calls and texts at all hours of the night.
Now he's moved in-state and he is making demands. He wants unsupervised visits with them even though he has a history of refusing regular psychiatric care, and he got blindingly drunk the second time he got to see them after his move. This man has emotionally blackmailed our eldest, who has autism and depression, to try to coerce him to move into his home. When these attempts met with failure, my ex told my son he doesn't actually have autism, but that I am a "psycho with Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy", jeered at him for choosing to "hang out with Mommy" and that my son will not be welcome in his home until he agrees to live there. This was devastating for my little boy, who only wants to make his father happy so he will make time for him.
My out-of-state divorce decree grants me full legal and physical custody and allows him visitation supervised by people who don't live in our state. I need to have this updated so that supervised visitation is upheld and new supervisors are established. In addition, he has been paying less than a third of our state child support guidelines, and my peaceable attempts to informally revisit this were met with threats of legal action.
My ex sees demons in the walls, which are sometimes on fire. He suffers from delusions. Everything he does is to serve himself, and no one is exempt from his verbal abuse when he feels wronged. He must be supervised during visits. He must pay his legal share of the boys' living expenses. We need help to ensure this happens.
He and his family have money for an attorney, and he will certainly have one. We do not have the money, and we can't live in fear on the financial edge like this. The attorney I am trying to hire comes highly recommended and he believes in us. Please help us. I can't even tell you what it would mean for my family.
Because Matt is the one with the Paypal account and Gofundme is concerned about transparency, I am adding that he will be the one withdrawing funds. :)
My ex is calling doctors and showing up at the boys's schools. He tried to be added as an authorized pick-up name. NO. I had to rush legal docs to prevent this.
He is collecting school records amd medical records that he never cared about before he moved here and found himself with prudently crafted access. He thinks he is going to show a judge that he is here to save the day.
My attorney offered me the option to depose him in advance. This gives us the advantage. 1, it is basic psychological warfare. 2, it gives Adam my ex's testimony in advance. That gives us the opportunity to prepare more extensively and more efficiently. Boom. It also gives me immense peace of mind. I will be able to read his testimony before we go to trial.
The cost on this would be an estimated $750-1500 depending on how long it takes (2-4 hours of Adam's time, the court reporter's time, and the official transcript.) This cost is in addition to the ballpark court process cost.
I am fervently hoping we can make this happen.
He is moving to our neighborhood and has lawyered up to challenge me for split custody. This is going to be expensive. :(
I don't know you. I don't know your family. What I do know is the blinding fear of wanting to protect your children from the devastating consequences of divorce/custody battles. A mutual friend posted your plea and I was moved to tears. I wish that I could donate more but I simply cannot afford it. I'm enclosing my donation and all my hopes and prayers for peace and that our judicial system will do what is right to protect your family. I know it isn't much but sometimes every little bit counts. And sometimes knowing people have your back, even random strangers, helps to ease the anxiety and hurt in your heart. Hugs. ❤
Yay!! So happy you've gotten the funds needed to protect your boys! I'm so happy for you guys!❤️
Oh my dear I have been in your shoes. You should just remove him from all your lives. It's what's best for the children at this time. I had to get a restraining order against my ex for the children. My ex is paranoid schizophrenia with multiple personalities and severe violent tendencies. To this day my ex tries to blackmail my 2 oldest kids. However they have grown a custom to his shenanigans and don't put up with it any more. I wish I could donate but I am financially strapped. I can offer advice and prayers for you and your children. I wish you the best of luck. God bless!
Request a 730 Evaluation and be prepared to foot at least half the bill if not the whole bill but this is the best way to expose the truth and receive the support of professionals to protect your children. I wish you the best of luck. I know the courts here in California are corrupt, abusers getting custody left and right and using them as weapons of suffering for the mother cut off and erased from the lives of her children. like myself. God Bless and Good luck.
I wouldn't let him near the boys period. Having children see a parent that is abusive is only hurting them in the long run . I would find get for full Custody.