Gavins surgery

The last 24hrs have been the worst most heart wrenching hours of my life.

Gavin. Was. Almost. Gone. Forever.

Lastnight around 12am Gavin was rushed into emergency surgery to save his (and my) life.

We were walking back to the car to get settled in for the night. I had just finished drawing next to the lake and was ready to call it. There was a girl walking to the bathroom we had met earlier and he went to say hello.. I look away and look back and he's just standing there looking directly at me with a stare I've never seen before.

He started to walk strangely picking up his paws as if he had stepped on something sharp, he walked over to the grass and started writhing uncomfortably.. howling and crying.. He could not stop wiggling in pain.. I immediately went to inspect his paws and noticed visually and confirmed physically that he was extremely bloated. Like flexing muscles type hard stomach. His head and ears down and a look as if he were under attack by some invisible foe .. I instantly packed the car.. made him jump in.. and we took off down the dirt road.

I was in the backcountry camping and miles from service. I drove irresponsibly fast on winding dirt roads and swerved around other cars as he cried and howled the whole time - it was the sound of him dying.

I nearly slid off the road at least twice. I couldn't do anything but drive. Got out and into cell range to call Kasey - his longtime caregiver, my goto vet tech and arguably his favorite person. She confirmed what I believed to be a potentially lethal issue and suggested I take him somewhere. I called all the local places and not 1 of the emergency vets answered. Then i called Denver locations who reconfirmed the severity of the issue.

I was 2hrs away and my best friend was dying in the backseat. Hyper ventilating between fits of uncontrollable crying I pleaded with him to hold on. I was doing everything I could. I tried with all that i am to drive responsibly through towns, over a mountain pass and down to Denver.

I went to the closest 24hr vet on Google and they took him back instantly only to emerge minutes later declaring an immediate need for xrays.. that plus the emergency visit would cost roughly $500... I only had $285 to my name. They said they'd work with me and the woman quickly disappeared through a door Gavin had just walked through minutes ago.

I was escorted to a room where no1 else was, a place where they tell ppl in private bad news. A woman appeared through the 2nd door to deliver their findings. She started with, "his stomach has flipped, were gonna have to think about putting him down". And it was in that moment that all the air in my lungs disappeared and my head dizzied. I begged this woman to do anything! Something! Please save him. I started to feel weak in my knees.. she started talking again about a deposit of $6,000.. but like my lungs my ears stopped working too. I fumbled for my phone not knowing who I was going to call... and reached for the door handle. My breathing intensified and I covered my mouth to hide my bewilderment and fear as I walked through the lobby.

Once I got outside I fell to the ground in inconsolable sobs of crying.

This can't be happening.

I ended up walking back inside where I cried audibly as I paced around trying to make sense of it all. I didn't care who could see or hear me.

I tried calling everyone, someone, in my family. I needed help. I couldn't think straight. But no one answered until I called my sister's girlfriend. I would have called Erin but couldn't find her number in my phone. Lizzie answered and i asked for my sister. I could hardly make words come out, so she asked to speak with someone at the desk.

Several minutes past and she tells me she'll call me back.

I'm laying on the sidewalk crying when two vet techs approach me to let me know I don't qualify for the pet credit card. I knew I wouldn't but in these situations you try.

Not much time had past, I'm still crying. One tech approached me with a list of places that are cheaper and instructed me to call one and to get Gavin into emergency surgery. "Your dog is dying."

The office took $250 of the remaining $285 to my name and ushered me out the door.

As im walking Gavin to my car my best human friend arrived with his girlfriend. I had stopped crying momentarily, and almost lost it when I saw them.

It was explained over the phone that the procedure would cost $3500 which was roughly $5,000 cheaper than our first stop but about $3,465 more than I had. These ppl don't work without getting paid.

The clock for Gavin was ticking.

We rushed over to the other 24hr vet office where I immediately started the standard paper work. Their nonchalant attitude while my dog vomited and choked on air almost sent me into a fury. They were cold and heartlessly willing to let him die in their lobby while I managed the paperwork.

It was in that moment they explained that any dog that goes under anesthesia who isn't neutered, will be. Again i got the sense that they were willing to let him die if I had said no. The future I had planned on was being stripped away from me by a self-righteous vet who uses extreme moments of vulnerability to carryout their will. I had no choice but to agree. And it was then that my immense sadness and pain evolved into grief.

Gavin, being the dog he is, while experiencing a expedited march towards death still managed to wag his tail, smile and look me reassuringly with his big brown doggie eyes.

A vet tech put a leash around his neck and took him away from me. Maybe forever. I never said goodbye.

It was later explained that any more time even precious minutes and his stomach would have died within him and he'd be gone. His spleen was turning purple when they opened him up and there was some complication with getting his spleen to work again properly. I sat in the empty lobby long into the early hours of the morning waiting for the surgeon to come back and tell me whatever news there was.

In short. The doctor saved the spleen and his life. The hard part was done but now they must "fix" him. Compounding the issues from the already huge surgery he just went through with now another surgery. Those motherfuckers.

I havnt seen him since they took him back lastnight. But I stopped by this morning to see how he was doing. I was told that he was stable but too heavily sedated to walk out and see me. I'd have to wait until 7pm. I was emotionally exhausted so I thanked her and left.

We were already homeless but we were fine and had a plan in place to move somewhere in a month.

I had gone all but bankrupt and then into debt all within the matter of a few hours. Gavin may still die and theres absolutely no hope for gavin puppies. Not to mention my face is swollen and throbbing from a broken tooth i experienced earlier yesterday at lunch. I had intended to use a small $100 check I planned on picking up thursday to see a dentist and buy antibiotics for the infection. But I coudlnt care less about any of this... I just want my puppy back.

The sound of my best friend dying while i helplessly drive 2hrs to Denver is the most traumatic experience of my life.

If I had hesitated, taken any longer to pack the car, hit traffic or stopped at a few extra stoplights.. or even pulled over.. he'd be gone. Life and death it seems.. happen fast.

We're not out of the woods yet. And I won't feel better until I see him alive and breathing.

I've already lost 2/4 of my best human friends in this life. That's hard enough. I'm not ready to lose Gavin. I still need him. His work isn't done here.

For those of you who know me best, you all know what Gavin means to me. In short. Everything. I just need him back.

Having not explained it yet. His stomach flipped around locking up his intestines preventing food or gas from passing naturally. Unresolved it only takes a matter of hours before the dog dies from the inside.

Root for Gavin. He's my everything.