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Kasia's campaign for The Cancer Fund for Children


Hi! My name is Kasia McKinney. I'm 36,  I am wife to John and a Mother of 4 Children. Olivia 12, Jack 9, Lilly 3 and my youngest boy Charlie is 8 Months old.


Our son Charlie was born on the 26th of May 2019 and we couldn't be happier. Everything was going well for us until 8th of October when our world was turned upside down. I found a lump in my breast.  The next day I was told I had breast cancer and it had spread to my lymph nodes. 


The weeks that followed were like a blur, an out of body experience. I was in denial, the tears would not stop and we knew for sure that the hardest time of our lives was just beginning. 
Every night I lay beside Lilly,  reading her bedtime story and thinking in a few months I may be gone and wee Charlie will not remember me. I went to watch Olivia dance ballet as I was scared I would not get more opportunities, I went to Jack's football matches - I just wanted to take everything in and savour each lilttle moment with the kids, but I couldn't stop the negative thoughts and I have never been so scared in all my life.  Why was this happening to me?  I was supposed to be happy with my newborn and bringing up my babies - instead I was going for scans every other day in that first few weeks. I was numb. I had numerous tests as my tumor was very big and it had spread to the lymph nodes, there was a possibility that the cancer travelled to other parts of my body and  there were markers showing on my liver so I needed extra MRI's.

Thankfully just 2 weeks ago it was confirmed that my liver is cancer free,  which has given me much needed lift to fight on.


I had my surgery on the 12 of November to remove my breast and all my lymph nodes from my left arm. Physically l recovered really well. The first week was tough, being away from my babies felt so unnatural but I had to get better for them.  Before this journey began we had been invited to attend Charity Ball for Cancer Fund for Children on the 22nd of November, I was determined to attend - I seen this as something to look forward to and being a Cancer Charity it meant so much more now. I wanted to enjoy any time I had before the Chemo started as my Doctors advised how rough it could be -
THE JOURNEY WAS ONLY BEGINNING.


My chemotherapy was supposed to begin on the 10th of December 2010 but my white blood cells were too low which worried my Oncologist, so more tests were arranged. 
I had an MRI of the bone marrow and blood tests to check for Leukemia. It felt like another nightmare, worrying and scared that I would not be able to even start the chemotherapy. The unknown and waiting for the results was the worst. I have had really bad anxiety and no matter how much I tried to stay positive - the worst thoughts always flooded my mind. My head was in overdrive, thinking the worst and worrying for my family..  I was hardly eating, I couldnt shake it off - THIS WAS REALITY!  Thankfully the results were negative but I will never forget those days of worry and panic while awaiting the results. More than anything these days will stay with me as the worst!


On the 17th of December I finally was well enough and had my 1st cycle of chemo (FEC)-First four days were very tough with sickness, nausea and pain in every muscle.... Christmas was coming and I wanted to be on top form for my kids. I went into full planning mode, getting everything sorted for our family. We wanted to keep traditions as normal as possible for the children so we went on our Annual Christmas Day out to Jungle NI to see Santa as we do every year with our friends and took a wee drive to our local garden centre to see Christmas decorations.
I was tired but I kept pushing myself. I did all the food shopping  and was ready to cook us nice Christmas dinner but on Christmas Day I felt unwell - I had hit a brick wall. I was admitted to hospital with suspected infection and kept in for 6 days.  My neutrophils were so low that I had no immune system at all (0.1). It was really hard again being away from the kids, I had missed Charlie's first Christmas but I knew it was for the best, being in hospital and getting stronger. I slowly got better and was allowed to go home the day before New Year's Eve.


Today February 18th  I had my 4th cycle of chemotherapy. If everything goes to plan my last chemo will be on the 31st of March which will be followed by 3weeks of daily radiotherapy and hormone treatment for 5-10 years. My journey is far from over. We've had so many bumps and set backs already and I know there will be more but I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I can do this now!  Thanks to my amazing Husband, Children, Family and Friends for their support, I get up every morning and fight this horrible disease. I still have hard days ahead but I know I can beat this!


Throughout this horrific experiece, Cancer Fund For Children have been a huge support to me and to my family.  They have provided support at home and in the community. They got in touch shortly after my surgery and have been providing help ever since. They gave us information about how to talk to the children (age appropriately), they were a great support to us when we couldn't find the words. I knew if I had any concerns I could call into them for advice.
Olivia (12) our eldest daughter, has been hit hardest. She started Grammar school in September, a big change for her already and only a month later I got my diagnosis,  she has had a lot to deal with. I was afraid that she would have to grow up so fast in light of everything that was going on.  Cancer Fund for Chldren's Young Shoulder programme became part of our lives.  Karen from Cancer Fund for Children came to meet Olivia at our home. She played games with her and chatted and offered support. She takes her out every week and she can talk about her feelings instead of bottling it all up. Olivia also went on a residental to Narnia Log (part of Daisy Lodge ) for the weekend, where she met children who are in the same or similar situation as her. She cannot wait to go back..  Jack (9) is availing of the Young Shoulders Programme and will be visiting Narnia in 2 weeks time. They help the children in a sensitive manner and allow them to express themsleves.  They give them respite from home for those few hours or days, as Chemo week can be tough on the children seeing their parent so unwell.


We as family were lucky enough to be invited to Daisy Lodge for the weekend.  Daisy Lodge is a Retreat Residential Centre. We spent last weekend there and we had the most amazing time. Everyone is so lovely and the staff & volunteers made us feel so special.
We chilled and had some lovely treatments in the SPA. The Children did art, played pool, table tennis and made jewellery and the food was gorgeous. It is a lovely retreat where all your problems go away. Anxiety, fear and worry disappear for couple of days and you feel like yourself again. After everything that wee have been through it was much needed, especially as we missed the Christmas Holidays as a family.  It was a santuary, a safe place and the staff were so friendly and welcoming.




I would love for all families with a cancer diagnosis whether it's a young person or a parent to be able to experience what we experienced last weekend that's why I have decided to set up this page to help raise much needed funds for this amazing charity.
Cancer Fund For Children rely on private donations as only 1-2% is granted by the government so every year they need to raise around £2.5 million to provide all their services to people like us. The care and support they have offered to my family and I has been exceptional, you couldn't put a price on what they have done for us. They have put my mind at ease knowing that even when I am at my lowest with worry and fear, my chidren are still getting the best support, someome to talk to about their worries when they don't feel like confiding in us. Our children are still getting the opportunities to be children, interacting with others and getting excited about weekends away. They know that they are not alone in their situation with having a sick parent, and that things can get better. It is so important that children get to be children and that is exactly what this Charity has enabled for our children.


So please please keep sharing my story and donate what you can as every penny counts. Never in a million years did I ever I think I would be in this situation, we just never know what's around the corner and when we will need their help.


Thank you for taking the time to read.
Much love


Kasia xxx
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Donations 

  • Seaneen Lawlor
    • £40 
    • 3 yrs
  • Lorna Reynolds
    • £500 
    • 3 yrs
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Organizer

Kasia McKinney
Organizer
The Cancer Fund for Children
 
Registered nonprofit
Donations eligible for Gift Aid.

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