Jeremy Smith battles MS
I really can't find the words to convey the embarrassment that I feel for checking out on the world and those that I love and care about. For checking on my responsibilities as a husband, father, and friend for the last several months. I am truly sorry for any inconvenience, stress, pain, or grief that I might have caused with my neglect or absence. Again, I let pride get inside my mind and beat me up for my lack in physical stamina and stature. I let the doctors sew the seed of fear in my mind, and I was so blinded by self pity and self doubt, that I let my disease dictate my free will, consume me in a cacoon soul sucking sorrow. So, with my pride lacking, I stuck my head in the sand and let my depression about my disease control my life. I checked out.
Well, I'm checking back in. Better late than never. Now, with my mind free of the guilt and embarrassment. I think its time for my update. Since, my last update we have been back to KU Medical Center. My body has adjusted to my current MS drug, so thankfully my liver is A-OK right now. The headaches that go along with this medication are, for now the best choice for me. The alternative drug has too many side effects and that is not something that I'm willing to risk. I will deal with headaches. For the last several months my doctors have been adjusting my other medications, and have actually reduced the amount of medications that I'm on and I have to get blood work done to check vitamin levels.
I want you all to know I'm am still battling. The war is far from over. I may have been knocked down with fatigue, depression, lack of corrdination, body numbness and countless other issues that coincide with this disease, but I have crested the mountain and I think with the baring of my guilt/pride for my past transgressions I can bear my responsibilities and redeem myself in everyone's eyes.
Thank you all for following my story, being in my life, not giving up on me when i was about to give up on myself, and most importantly helping me and my family out. Much love, Skol, Godspeed.
from someone that battle MS I know what you are going through, Hopefully if you are not on disability then at least start the process cuz it can in some cases take years to get