IVF Fund For Marcus & Erika

My name is Jennifer and I have put this together on behalf of my friends, Marcus and Erika. If you know them, you know that they are selfless, generous, and wonderful people.

 For as long as I’ve known them and many many years before that, both Marcus and Erika have been helping others. Marcus will be the first person to lend a helping hand, and Erika will stop traffic to rescue a stray animal. Marcus has given back to local communities throughout his career, with his service in the Air Force, both active duty and in the reserves, as well as his time as a volunteer firefighter. Erika is an enormously talented family photographer, capturing special moments for families from pregnancy, birth and beyond. She is also a trained birth doula and serves her local military community. They both give so much to others, and now they need our help.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and Marcus and Erika need their village now to start their family. After 3 failed cycles of IVF that they paid for out-of-pocket ($30,000+), they are ready to start a 4th round with donor eggs and could benefit from any contribution you may be able to give. I have been by their side over the past year of their journey and want to help them become parents in any way I can. They are stronger than even they realize, and have so much love to give. While strength and love are infinite, money isn’t.  There is no one truly more deserving than these two. Having gone through IVF myself to start my family, their journey is very close to my heart. You can read more of their story, as well as some words from both of them below.

THEIR STORY:

Marcus and Erika have been struggling with infertility for several years now. Just like anyone, they thought it may take a few months to get pregnant, or maybe a year. After getting married in October 2014, they set off on a new adventure to live overseas in Spain so that Marcus could take a job with the Department of Defense. After enjoying married life for a year, they started trying to conceive in September of 2015. Erika was charting her cycles, and doing all the “right” things to get pregnant. It just wasn’t happening for them. In September of 2016 they started to think something may be wrong and began seeking medical opinions.

After some research and recommendations from friends they found a fertility clinic in Seville and had a consultation in January of 2017. It was determined that Erika’s fallopian tubes were blocked. They were told that IVF was their only option for starting a family. With an optimistic outlook, they started their first IVF treatment in April of 2017. For those who don’t know, IVF (in vitro fertilization) is a very invasive treatment. It starts with medication to regulate the woman’s menstrual cycle. Then she has to take various hormones, injected a couple times a day, to try and get her ovaries to produce lots of eggs. During all of this there are appointments every couple of days to monitor the ovaries. When the doctor determines everything is ready, there is a final “trigger” shot to encourage the eggs to fully mature and release. Then, there is egg collection, a procedure that is done under a light general anesthesia. Then the eggs are injected with sperm and the wait begins to see how many embryos are created.

Marcus and Erika’s first cycle of IVF seemed to be going well. However, during the stimulation of Erika’s ovaries it was discovered that her left fallopian tube had developed hydrosalpinx – a condition where the tube fills with fluid. This fluid can then leak into the uterus and create a hostile environment for an embryo. It was recommended that before an embryo transfer was considered, the tube should be removed. Marcus and Erika were hoping to do a fresh embryo transfer, so the news that they would have to put that on hold was the first bit of disappointment in their journey. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last. They were still optimistic when on egg retrieval day they had 10 eggs. That was a good number to start with.

7 of those eggs successfully fertilized! Everything was looking good, until they got the call that all of their embryos arrested – they all stopped developing by day 3. The goal is to have a day 5 embryo for transfer. After everything they went through; the emotions, the shots, the appointments, the miles driven, hours spent, and money gone…they were left with nothing. They were devastated.

With no other option, they moved forward. They found a surgeon for Erika’s laparoscopy and salpingectomy (tube removal). She had surgery in June 2017, and again they had some bad news. Both tubes had to be removed. They were really hoping the surgeon could save the right one, but it was also damaged. Coming out of anesthesia and finding out that both tubes were gone was another heartbreaking moment. 

After taking a couple months to heal from surgery, they decided to change clinics and found a new doctor and came up with a plan for cycle 2 of IVF. In August 2017 they started the prep for their cycle. They mustered up as much optimism and courage that they could and got excited for another chance. Once again, they hit a setback. One of Erika’s ovaries was producing hormones from a follicle and they were not able to start their cycle. Erika had to start some hormone supplements to try and correct what was going on, and after about a month things started to look good! The hormone levels evened out. They got the green light to start their next cycle, and their start date happened to fall on their wedding anniversary - October 11th. Things were looking great, and the excitement started to build. This second cycle was a bit easier as they had been through it before, they knew what to expect. Erika’s body did not produce as many eggs this time, and they only had 5 on retrieval day. Out of those 5, 3 were mature and 2 of them fertilized. It was recommended that they transfer both embryos on day 2, and that is what they did.


They were excited to get to transfer this round, and they were holding on to hope. In the fertility world after a transfer you are “PUPO” or pregnant until proven otherwise. Erika was so hopeful and positive during the two weeks she waited for her blood test to confirm a pregnancy. I went with her for her blood draw, and was there with her when she got the call that it didn’t work and that she was not pregnant. There is nothing quite as devastating as such news.

After all of the pain and heartbreak they had experienced those first two cycles, they found the courage to continue their journey. They found out that Erika is a carrier of Fragile X, a genetic disorder that can negatively affect egg quality. They started a strict regimen of supplements and a very specific diet to try and increase egg quality. After a few months of that they jumped headfirst into their third round of IVF in April 2018, one year after starting their first cycle. Erika’s right ovary didn’t respond to the medication at all this time, and they only had 2 eggs on the left ovary. ‘You only need one!’ became their mantra for this cycle. They held on to hope when both eggs fertilized, and thought this may finally be their chance at success. If you’re picking up on the trend of disappointment here…they were once again let down. Both embryos arrested and they were left with nothing to transfer.

To say this year of IVF cycles was the hardest year of their life is an understatement. They have fought so hard to start their family, and have the scars to prove it. After much deliberation and soul searching, they have decided to move forward with another cycle of IVF. This time, however, they will be using donor eggs. This means they will be matched with an anonymous donor who will undergo the ovarian stimulation. The donor’s eggs will be injected with Marcus’ sperm and their embryos will be created. Then an embryo will be transferred into Erika’s uterus. This will give them more than a 70% chance at success at having a baby. Using Erika’s eggs again they would have a 10-15% chance at success. A donor egg cycle is going to cost $15,000. The financial hardship of infertility is an added element of stress in an already stressful situation.

Most people are lucky to never find out the answer to the question posed by infertility: how much would you pay to have a family? Infertility is traumatic, physically and emotionally, and it’s also expensive. Let's help them with some of that burden. Every dollar is a blessing! They hope that you will support their choice, and they hope to bring awareness to others about the many ways to start a family!

 Here are some words from each of them:

 FROM MARCUS:

If you would have told me, almost four years ago when Erika and I got married, that we would be thrown an infertility curveball I wouldn’t have believed you. I would tell you, “Not us, not me, I’ve been journaling to our unborn children since 2014, I already feel like I know them!  This can’t happen to my wife, who adores any child.” The disbelief fades quickly after watching your wife endure three failed IVF cycles. It has happened, it is us, but thankfully we were not alone. Jennifer, her husband Joe and their son Sammy have been a tremendous support system for Erika and I. Often knowing and giving their support when we didn’t know we needed it. It is a natural reaction for Erika and I to help others, not so natural for us to ask for help. I can honestly say, as a husband, I have felt helpless throughout this journey, often not knowing what more I could do to support my wife. Searching for ways to be a better partner, stay optimistic and lift the burden from her shoulders.

When asked if a GoFundMe could be started in our name, I quickly declined. We live well, we work hard and we are fortunate people. Insisting I reconsider, I consulted my closest supporters. They explained, "this may provide people who want to help, but don't know how, a way to." So, with my preconceptions vetoed, here I am, accepting help.

Our hope, along with starting a family, is to raise awareness about infertility and how to support those who may be struggling as well. We have kept our struggle a bit concealed and it has been isolating. Community truly helps. If you know someone or you yourself need support, guidance, advice or just an experienced listener please reach out.

FROM ERIKA:

When Jennifer told me she wanted to set this up for us, I was very hesitant. We have been open with our family and close friends about our journey, but it is so scary to put ourselves out there on a platform like this. The vulnerability is intimidating, and asking for help is as well. But, I know there are other people out there going through the same thing and if our story can help someone else not feel so alone, it will be worth it. Infertility is a lonely place. It has been filled with so many emotions I can’t even begin to describe. So many days of grief. There have been many days I have not wanted to leave my house. I have been so blessed to have Jennifer by my side. She has experienced firsthand IVF and infertility and her support along with the support of her family has been my saving grace!

After a heartbreaking year of IVF using my eggs, Marcus and I have decided to take the next step in starting our family by using donor eggs. While this decision was difficult to make, we are ready to be parents. We have been ready for years! Using donor eggs is going to give us a much better chance at reaching our goal of starting a family.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with infertility, I encourage you to reach out to myself or Marcus, or to find a support group in your area. Resolve.org is a wonderful resource! And if you would like to follow along with our journey we do have an Instagram account where we are sharing information during our cycles; @pineconediaries.

From the bottom of our hearts we thank you for reading our story, sharing with others, and if you are able to contribute to this fundraiser we will forever be grateful!