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I Want to See My Father Again

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My name is Grayson Smith. I am the son of Michael Gene Smith.

On November 14th, I found out from one of Dad's ex-girlfriends that he had suffered a severe stroke in August and another severe stroke in October.

I had been trying to get in touch with him for nearly 2 years.

The last time we saw each other was in late 2014. Before that, it had been close to 7 years. There were more gaps before that.

He is now in a nursing home in New Orleans. His last girlfriend put him there after he became incapable of taking care of himself. They are both old and she couldn't bear the responsibility.

He has frontal lobe brain damage and cannot remember most of his life now. He knew who I was when I talked to him on the phone but couldn't remember any details of our past. Despite not having the rich father/son relationship that we both migth have wanted, we still spent enough time together over the years to have memories worth reminiscing.

He had been receiving cognitive therapy at a VA hospital but the place he is in now doesn't offer those services and there is no one capable of getting him back and forth from the VA to get the help he needs.

He's only 66.

The money I am planning to raise will buy a round trip ticket from Portland, OR to New Orleans, LA, along with accomodations, food and other travel expenses, so that I can stay with my Dad for as long as a Family Medical Leave will allow. More realistically, probably about 2 or 3 weeks. It will also help offset the financial hit I will take from being away from my job. My fiance is entering Grad School and relies on my financial help. We are very poor. We live on a shared net income of less than $25k/year (in Portland!)

My goal is to stay with him for up to 12 hours a day, talking to him to stimulate cognitive growth. Additionally, I will get him to his VA appointments for cognitive therapy and garner as much information about his condition as possible.

Dad was a veteran, serving in Vietnam. He gave me my first guitar when I was 13 and named me after his Great Uncle Grayson, who, as the night watchman at the Orpheum Theater in Memphis in the 50's, used to let Dad play around in it after hours on his shifts.  Dad's one of the most charming southern gentlemen you will ever meet. He has an infectious personality and is one of the wittiest guys I know.

He opened up for Journey in the early 80's and lived through the end of the State Line Mob era in Northern MS as a musician and first hand witness to the events that crafted that folklore (look it up if you don't know).

I love my Dad. He wasn't always there, but our time spent together meant a lot to me. There were a lot of things left unsaid. The last time I saw him, we had made big plans. We were going to spend some quality time together. He would be coming through my neck of the woods as often as every 3 months. We were going to have nights out on the town and go exploring the beautiful Pacific Northwest. The next time I tried to call him, his phone went to voicemail and he never called back. Over the next few months, all additional calls went to a full inbox on his phone. I guess he was already having ministrokes by that time. Everyone that talked to him over the next year said he was off and forgetful.

I don't know if I can help him or not, but I need to see him. For my sake at the very least. If you know Mike or you know me, I think you understand. If you don't know, let me put it like this...

No one else cares. He has no family left. He will die there without me. He left behind him a string of bad relationships and debts. All the guys that were his good friends died off from a life of playing music or are in similar shape. I've reached out to every person I can think of that knew him. He has been all but abandoned, save for his last girlfriend that goes to see him for an hour or so a few times a week.

It is admittedly a long shot, but if nothing else I just want to see my Dad one last time. Please help me. If you decide to pitch in, thank you very much. I will try to update this with new information and as many old stories as I can muster.

Organizer

Michael Grayson Smith
Organizer
Hillsboro, OR

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