Help with survival/transition costs

$1,795 of $26k goal

Raised by 39 people in 24 months
Claire Alanis  SIDMAN, PA
Hello, my name is Claire and I never really thought i'd be doing something like this but I don't know what else to do. I am a transgender woman and I have been trying to save money to have my name change and gender confirmation surgery for years now, but I am struggling to even pay the bills. I haven't even been able to have any electrolysis done in months which makes the dysphoria so much worse for me. I suffer from depression and social anxiety which has made working extremely difficult. I went from working almost full time hours down to about 4-8 hours per week. This is getting me nowhere and its only getting  worse. I live with my boyfriend who has been trying his best to keep us both afloat but we are simply digging ourselves deeper and deeper in debt. All I want is to  finally finish this horribly emotional transition and feel 100% like myself, but with how things are going I fear I will never get there. Maybe once I have my name change complete I will be able to find some better work that I can handle. I live in a small town with almost no education on trans people and its pretty scary out there when my legal name doesn't match my gender. I know its a long shot to even attempt something like this but like I said I am completely desperate and willing to try anything. I understand most of you are living your own lives with your own hardships but if anyone has anything they can spare I will be eternally grateful for any help. I have been such a burden on my loved ones who want nothing more than to see me succeed, and I hope to one day pay them back for all the help they have tried to give even though they aren't having it all that easy themselves. 

Thank you!

-Claire
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Update 6
Posted by Claire Alanis
13 months ago
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Every time I have to resort to this I start to feel sick. I honestly didn't think I would need this again. Of course things never really go as planned though. Thanks to all the amazing help of friends and family I have managed to make it through these past few months. However, one of my cats has been ill this past week or so and it's starting to worry me. I need to get her to a vet so we can figure out what is going on with her but of course that isn't easy for someone like me whose not even living paycheck to paycheck anymore. If I would have known how bad things were going to be for me back then I would have reconsidered owning pets. I can't change that now, and I can't let her suffer just because I couldn't find the money to get her to the vet let alone pay for the treatment of whatever this is she's suffering through. So please, if anyone can help out, as always, I will be forever grateful!

I really hope this is the last time I need to use this.

I just want her to be happy and healthy again.

Thank you. <3
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Update 5
Posted by Claire Alanis
15 months ago
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Update:

So it's been a little while since I've felt the need to use this again. I suppose that's a good thing since at the time I thought things were changing for the better. I haven't found a job that suites me since my last job and after moving so I can try to have space to work on my photography my financials have become a disaster. I'm still hoping having a space to do photos here will help me be able to get more photo jobs. It's just so hard when nothing is coming in at the moment. And before assuming me moving was a huge mistake, don't forget that I have spent the past month getting the place I was living in ready to rent out to pay my share of the rent here. Paying for two places this month also killed me. I am so desperate to make something work here. I can't just settle on being unemployed and feeling like I'm not contributing somehow.

Basically I am asking for help again and once more... I don't want to!

Like I posted last time though, if you do donate I have photo prints I want to send you. Please find the last post and tell me which of those photos you would like as my thanks. It's a small token for such major kindness but I will feel much better giving at least something in return.

This gofundme started as a mere way to raise money for my surgery, but I don't even know how I could attempt such a thing when I can't even pay my bills every month. Not to mention all my hope of having the surgery died on December 14th when my consultation lead to me finding out that I will receive no help from my insurance since I am on Medicaid.

I don't want to let all this negativity stop me but when I'm too afraid to leave my house because I'm letting a mental illness control me I can barely get anywhere. I've been trying to find work I can do from home but haven't had much luck, and I've even gone as far as to do things I'm not proud of just to pay a bill or two. This Gofundme is one of those things I'm not proud of. I honestly don't feel like I deserve your donations either. Even so, I will be eternally grateful to everyone who helps.

I just hope that I can stop feeling like all hope is lost for me. I'm so tired of feeling hopeless.

For once I'd just like to feel "normal"
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Update 4
Posted by Claire Alanis
19 months ago
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Hey Everyone.

So it's been a little while since my last update on here. I really did my best to need this page as little as possible and I managed to hold off for quite some time. Things haven't really gotten any better, I sort of just found a way to slide by. Within the past month I have experienced so much, some of it being quite amazing! And some... not so much.

I have made some changes in my life that may or may not be for the best. It has opened up some potential opportunities but I really can't say for sure if/when any of this will happen.

One of the biggest changes is that I am no longer working at the job which I have been at for the past 8 years. The downward spiral of my experience with the world of retail has really done a number on my stability. Even though I am sitting here now jobless, I still can't help but feel relieved as I also consider the fact that I will not be forced into the life sucking holiday season as a retail sales associate. I know this was something that needed to happen but it's worrisome too because it makes me extremely vulnerable financially.

Unfortunately the bills don't stop coming when you lose your job. haha! I have lucked out and have found a few odd jobs which have helped out a lot. I have even picked up business a little on the photography end up things as well. With everything mentioned I have managed to come up with now $400 to last me until I figure something out.

I hate to be back to this point again but I want to remain positive. This time instead of just asking for handouts I wanted to include some of the art I had while we were on tour in this plea for help. Included in the photo attached to this post are a series of 6x6 photo prints I had for sell while on the road. I want to also give these away with donations to help raise money not only towards my surgery but to help me as I am still trying to get on my feet again.

If you donate and want one of these prints please just send me a message with your info and I will send you your choice of print.

Also, here is the link to my photography page for those interested in the rest of my art and what I do with it.

https://www.facebook.com/CamphorTreePhotography

Thanks everyone for the kindness. Even if you just read this and send me good vibes I thank you so very much. Things may be rough now but I still have a good feeling it may get better if I keep at it.

<3

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Update 3
Posted by Claire Alanis
22 months ago
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Hey everyone!

So I have finally received the phone call which I have been anxiously awaiting for what feels like an eternity.

The phone call I am speaking of is the one that gave me such relief in knowing that I now have a date set to have my consultation to have Gender Confirmation Surgery!

I am scheduled for December 14th to see Dr. McGinn and to book the date for my surgery. In order to do this I will need to be able to pay the full cost of the surgery up front with the chance that my insurance will help out post surgery. If I can't have the surgery within a year of the consultation I will have to go through the waiting list once more and I honestly don't think I can handle waiting another year to feel complete.

I will do anything within my power to achieve this!

I feel like I am so close, yet so far away. If anyone can be of assistance here I will owe you such a debt, which will never be forgotten. Once I have this done and finally get my life back on track I plan to do whatever it takes to return the favors.

Please find it in your heart to help me make this happen. I don't know how I will last another year without this.

Thanks for listening and have a wonderful day!
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Read a Previous Update
Bri Hildebrand
23 months ago
1
1

I love you claire and support you 100%. Praying For you! I know you can do this.. and im going to send some money to ya on pay day!!! you are an insiration

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$1,795 of $26k goal

Raised by 39 people in 24 months
Created April 13, 2015
MH
$20
Melissa H
13 months ago
$100
Fae De Danann
15 months ago

love you girl...

MH
$20
Melissa Hodson
15 months ago

I hope this helps!

$50
Anonymous
15 months ago
CH
$100
Cat Haines
15 months ago
$50
Kai Fetterman
19 months ago
MH
$20
Melissa Hodson
19 months ago

Hope this helps!

MG
$100
Martin Grant
20 months ago (Monthly Donation)
MG
$100
Martin Grant
21 months ago (Monthly Donation)
$30
Anonymous
21 months ago
Bri Hildebrand
23 months ago
1
1

I love you claire and support you 100%. Praying For you! I know you can do this.. and im going to send some money to ya on pay day!!! you are an insiration

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