Help Fund a Facility for Max

SEVERE Autism, a family’s anguish               (please see the video below)

IPOK – “if people only knew” …

Not a very nice sounding acronym but this is not a very nice sounding story.

I find myself saying this time and again, "if people only knew"… how can a family live like this?

The answer is, they can’t, not any longer…

This is not my story but that of my amazing sister Liz, her husband Sean and their four beautiful children Tom 13, Max 11, Harry 9 and Georgia only 7. A beautiful, loving, humble and hardworking family who all live in fear and experience trauma daily as a result of their son’s very severe autism. I’d like to share with you an insight into their lives and to ask you for your support in helping them fund a solution.

Max is a beautiful child, he can be very affectionate and is dearly loved by every member of his family. Max is 11 years old and has severe non-verbal autism and I mean severe, one of the worst cases of autism imaginable. Max’s level of autism is no "Rain Man" comparison, it is a heart wrenching, extreme and complex disability that brings with it unfathomable frustration which results in him engaging in frequent intense, aggressive and violent meltdowns.

When Max is frustrated, the family home becomes a war zone and everyone in it is at risk. Max is now going through puberty and with this, he has developed an inexplicable strength that is specific only to those with this level of Autism. He will hit out at anyone who is within his reach, most often his mother but also his siblings and even the family’s beautiful dog, Kimba. He will regularly tear doors from hinges and anything that is not nailed down becomes a weapon to be hurled across a room, regardless of what, or more importantly who is in the way. Sadly, Max’s siblings have all borne the brunt both physically and emotionally from Max's outbursts and have taken to locking themselves in their rooms, fitted with special combination locks, for their own protection…yes, these children have locks on their door’s so they can lock themselves away from harm.

Their eldest son Tom, at just 13 years old, worries every day on his way home from school that a tragedy might await him when he walks in. Tom, being the oldest and the biggest, has taken on the role of the protector of his family, when his dad is at work there are often times when he has to physically restrain Max in order to protect his mother and his siblings from his brothers violent outbursts, this is not the life or the responsibility you’d want for any young teenager.

Their youngest son Harrison, at 9 years old is so emotionally traumatized from living with Max’s behaviours that he is riddled with anxiety, he feels powerless to help his family during Max’s meltdowns and his self-esteem has plummeted, he withdraws from many normal everyday activities. And then there is little Georgia Rose, who at 7 years old, is so frightened to be at home with her brother that she hides away in her bedroom behind her locked door where she can feel safe. Doing this though does not protect her, or any of them from hearing the devastating sounds of their Mum being hurt and attacked by their brother and the psychological damage it causes them. This is NOT a family violence situation in the sense, this is their life, life living with severe autism.

Sean, the children's father is a strong Aussie battler who dearly loves his family and will do anything to protect them. He is completely devoted to them and he stands by the motto that "no-one gets left behind" and through everyone's eyes, this includes Max.  

"If people only knew"...well now they are about to.

Whilst Sean is able to protect his family when he's at home he has to work to maintain a roof over their heads and to put food on the table. Liz has had to give up her working career in order to be available for Max at every moment of every day and this has severely impacted the family's financial situation. Sean frequently now has to leave his job as a builder during the day to deal with Max’s behaviours as Liz is no longer strong enough to control him on her own. Both he and Liz are living with the fear of knowing, that it is only a matter of time until a member of their family is seriously injured by Max, or even worse.

Sean and Liz have spent everything they have trying to support Max from the very tender age of 20 months old when they first received his diagnosis. They are a proactive family and have tried countless therapies, treatments and interventions to help Max and this has financially left them with nothing.

Perhaps you're thinking by now 'Why not just put Max in a facility?' 

Good idea, except there just aren't any facilities that are catered to Max's needs at his age. There are no facilities or government options equipped to look after Max on a more permanent basis, absolutely nothing... and here's the clincher, Max is desperately loved by his family and they do not want to have to relinquish him for the safety of their other children.

This family is in crisis. The consequences dire. If they are unable to set up their own facility for Max as well as providing a safe home for their other children, they have no choice but to consider relinquishing Max to the State, an absolutely heart-wrenching thought for any parent to ever have to contemplate. If this happens they will lose all rights to their child and he could be put in a home anywhere in Australia and if no home is available, he can be put into a hospital and medicated.  This would be utterly heartbreaking for them all, as they all love and worry about Max as much as they do each other. Imagine having to give up one of your children for the safety of the others? It’s a horrific situation that no parent wants to be in and it’s tearing them all apart. The safety of the other children is paramount and to successfully protect them from harm, Max needs to live separately.

Here in lies the solution and where we need your help…

This Go Fund Me Page is set up to raise money for Liz and Sean to convert their family home, Max's home, his familiar environment, into a personalised care facility that will meet his specific needs, physically, emotionally, structurally and educationally.

The funding from this page will also go towards employing specialist carers to care for Max 24/7. He will still have regular input and visitation from his family and Liz and Sean will oversee all of his care making sure his needs are consistently met. This conversion to their home will mean that the rest of the children will move with their parents to a small rental house nearby that will provide them with the safety, peace of mind and normality that they all so desperately need. They will finally have a home that is free from meltdowns, violence and locks, an environment where they are free to relax – a normal home, a safe home, a normal life.

If we can just raise enough money to pay for the conversion of their home into this facility, with professional carer’s employed, it would provide much relief and a new way of life for this family on the verge of breakdown. Our goal is $80,000. Please, if this story has touched your heart, dig deep and help Liz and Sean achieve the only solution they have.

Thank you for reading.

Testimonials

My name is Caroline Whelan.    My husband and I have reached desperation level at seeing the suffering of our son Sean, his beautiful wife Liz and their four children. Their son Max is at the extreme level of Autism and causes immeasurable suffering to his parents and their other three children, Tom, Harry and Georgia.
Max will turn 12 in May and over the years they have spent all their funds and energy on trying to improve his quality of life.  Unfortunately, as he grows to maturity his behaviour goes from impassive to violent to destructive to aggressive with no reasoning. His unpredictability causes enormous anxiety and fear to the other children and their parents.  There is no government facility for a child like Max, but they cannot continue to live in fear. We desperately need the funds to pay rent for a separate home for the family before a tragedy occurs in that household.  Thank you for reading my appeal. 

I have first-hand, heartfelt knowledge and association of the anguish this family has to endure and we see one person tragically effecting the lives of 5 other people and their pleas for help fall on deaf ears from people who choose to ignore a situation they could well support showing the apathy of our so called society leaders who choose to ignore the plight of those in desperate need of immediate help. Our so called elected representatives should be ashamed of them selves and the positions they hold for ignoring the plight of these families.     Vaughan Wilson Mt Martha.  

My name is Amanda Keogh.    Max is the most beautiful, wonderful, energetic boy who has severe autism and needs our support. I have watched Max grow up and become a loveable and cheeky soul. He is supported by his devoted family who cherishes him dearly. I have watched his family struggle on a daily basis to care for his needs. Max is non-verbal and communication with his family and others makes life extremely difficult. As Max grows and gets older his behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic and unpredictable. His behaviour is placing his parents and siblings at risk due to his physical size and strength and his parents are increasingly anxious about his future. Please find it in your hearts to help this little boy and his family.

A typical moment with Max.....


Our Max....