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Help Asher take care of Asher

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As most of you are aware, in January I was diagnosed with the Epstein-Barr virus and it's taken a toll on my body.  I've tried working half days, four days a week with a day off in the middle, a day of here and there. I've used up all of my PTO for the year and I'm already on my 3rd week of unpaid leave. I'll be out if work for at least another month, on bed rest. I don't apply for Short Term Disability because of my HIV so I'm making a GoFundMe, which is difficult because asking for help is not something I'm comfortable with. I'm going to multiple doctors, tons of blood work, multiple MRIs,  we are expanding the field looking for other causes, I might have to go to Denver to see a liver specialist, etc. Most of you might remember that my body was ravaged when I came into the rooms, taking almost a year to stop seizing and finding normal breath. It makes sense that mono would affect me more severely than most.  Imagine going from 40 hours a week, 5 meetings, hanging with friends, going to Albuquerque to galavant, movies, dinners....normal everyday life to being told you have to just stay home and be on bed rest because your body shakes for hours if you don't. Changing everything because my body can't function the way I think it should. Rage, sadness, frustration, exhaustion, shame, financial stress, emotional stress and I love helping people. Now I am in "quarantine," missing out on whatever I think I'm missing out on. What I'm learning is to listen to my body, to put my needs, the needs of my long term health, first. To practice radical acceptance and tolerance and compassion and self kindness like Ive never done before. To lean on my friends that I'm always willing to help. Right now, it sucks and I have to make tough decisions but what I do know is that this is uncomfortable and painful which means I'm growing....and growing means I'm learning and getting stronger in ways I can't fathom yet. That to me is the hope that drives me. Don't get me wrong, I broke down in frustrated tears last night. I can't go right from angst to happiness. I have to feel all of the emotions on the spectrum leading from one to the other. That's the beauty of the human experience.  So I'm asking for help. I'm also trying to give myself a little financial cushion should other, unexpected issues arise (as they seldom do.)
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Donations 

  • Hannah Lyles
    • $20 
    • 5 yrs
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Organizer

Asher Haven
Organizer
Santa Fe, NM

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