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Private testing for Baby Dawson

$7,290 of $15,000 goal

Raised by 214 people in 12 months
Created June 19, 2018
Alex had a perfect baby, Dawson Patrick, April 7th 2018. He was taken from her much too soon. Please help in any way that you can. All donations will go towards Dawson’s funeral expenses and all other expenses to help Alex get through this devastating time.  Thank you.

For those of you who do not know Alex or are not friends with her on FB to read her heartbreaking story:

“I rocked Dawson to sleep last night and put him down around midnight last night, to wake up around 5:15am to my perfect little boy, cold. Immediately, trying to wake him up and give him CPR, screaming for everyone in the house and to call 911. I can't remember how many professionals came through the house, taking pictures, and asked me question after question. I can't remember how many people tried to talk to me about God, and directing me to support groups. I can't explain how long it felt like it took to get answers. I was asked what happened the day prior. I explained. We woke up around 9am. I took a shower, then proceeded to give Dawson a bath and bottle before his doctors appointment. We got to the doctors and they gave him 4 immunizations. 3 shots, 1 oral. We weighed him and he was at 15 lbs and 24 and some inches tall. 97 percentile. Healthy and happy. He got his shots and cried the saddest tears I've ever seen, his eyes actually turned bright yellow-green like mine do and just looked at me in so much pain, and it broke my heart. I held him close to me till he stopped and held his finger and just kept repeating "it's alright, hunny. It's okay. It's all over now. I'm sorry, bubbba". I lied to him. It wasn't alright. Nothing was going to be alright. I was so happy about his appointment and how he was growing, that I decided to take Dawon with Ben's whole family to the hot springs. I put him in his adorable bathing suit and put sunscreen on him, packed some water in a separate bottle for him, and off we went. I was so worried walking into the baby swim pool as to how he would react.. idk why because he was so stinking happy swimming around. We went to dinner at his mom's house a couple hours later, and he was his normal well behaved happy self. I noticed then that his appetite was off. He didn't want his bottle before we went swimming, and didn't want it after. I thought maybe this one he didn't want because it wasnt as warm as I usually make it. He fell asleep on and off there. We got home and I gave him a nice hot bottle, which he didn't want, and fell asleep while I was rocking him. I laid him down in the living room, went and changed my PJs and hung out in the living room till almost midnight. Brought him in the room to sleep because I was getting ready to go to bed since him and I were supposed to drive back to New York this morning. I woke up around 5:15, to my perfect little boy, cold, and not breathing. The time went by so slow waiting for the autopsy. I kept saying to everyone... " Did I put too much sunscreen on him?" "Did he have water from the pool lodged somewhere from the pool?" .. I didn't put a blanket on him last night because he was in thermals, so I knew he didn't suffocate.. "But I still asked outloud if it could be that. I said, "it had to be those f******g shots!! 18 hours later, he's dead!" The autopsy came in, and they said they gave him an internal, external autopsy, a toxicology report (which hasn't come back yet) and did blood work. And all they could tell me is absolutely nothing. They just kept saying how healthy he was and big, and beautiful. And that they can tell if a parent is good by looking by the shape of their head. She said she could tell he wasn't set down often and was held often (which was true). They said there was no explanation for it. And I'm sorry, but I call bullshit. They said he passed away from SIDs. And not from his immunizations, and I'm sorry, but I just don't believe that. They say it's a myth... And hey I mean, I got my shots, you got your shots.. we are both still here.. but hes not and it is just too coincidental for me. I don't understand how a big and healthy baby can just pass away with no explanation. We can find the cause of deaths for elderly, adults, and children, but not infants?

I never wanted kids. I liked partying and being selfish, and when I became pregnant, I wasn't happy. It took me five months for it to really hit me. As I got bigger, and as I prepared his nursery, I fell in love with what I thought it would feel like to be a mom, which was nothing till I pushed him out, and pulled him up to my chest (yes, I!, Not the doctors.. I pulled him out lol) I heard his first cry.. and that was when I really became a mom. He grabbed the strap to my tank top and wouldn't let go when the doctors tried to take him to clean him up and weigh him. I was psycho over him. Didn't go to work.. didn't want him to go with anyone unless I was there. Every bottle, every diaper, every nap has been the most enjoyable. I haven't been good at anything in life, but I was honestly, a great mommy. I found love in me that I never knew existed. I melted Everytime I looked in his eyes, and I'd always hold him close because I loved the warmth. I needed that little boy, and he needed me. He had no reason to be taken from me, and no one had anyreason to make him so perfect just to go away. I have no idea what to do with my life now. I have nothing. He was everything. I don't want to be here without him. I don't want to do this. But life never stops, to let you take a breath. My little boy is gone, and idk who I am or how to deal with something no one can explain to me. Please forgive me, friends and family, if I fall off the grid... I'm not ready for reality. Why anyone? But why ME? Why HIM? I feel dead.. but just not able to die. He completed me. Was my missing piece. I found all my strength through becoming a mommy. I love being mommy. I love it. I wish I could trade my life for his. I did everything perfect. We we're supposed to flip houses together and he was supposed to wrestle, race, and play football. Idon't understand. I want my little boy back. I want my backseat buddy back.”
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Latest update from Alex:
Because of everyone's help, we were able to get Dawson back home from Colorado and take care of funeral expenses. I can't and don't think I will ever be able to fully express how grateful I am for the huge hearts that either shared our story or made a donation or both. I have been blown away and completely overwhelmed with the love. An extremely talented neuropathologist has offered our family services, and is hopeful to find something even though metabolic levels aren't present. Myself and Dawson's father have to get testing done,, which insurance won't cover. Please keep sharing. Like I said, 50 cents adds up, and gets us closer to being able to do so.
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We love you Dawson. Rest In Peace sweet boy.
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Latest post from Alex: Because of all the love and support Dawson, myself, and my family have received, I feel the need to keep everyone helping, updated. In my findings I have found out that SIDS is a side effect of certain vaccinations. It is listed as a side effect in the inserts of the CDC. Doctors will not share this info, so do the research I didn't do. Basically, the vaccinations can cause the immune system to trigger the central nervous system. Sleep apnea can happen and then a cytokine storm can effect the brain which can effect the response to breathing, creating SIDS. I was sitting outside on the day my baby was taken from me.. feeling lost, confused, heartbroken, empty, lost again. My phone wouldn't stop buzzing. People kept Wondering what was going on and I just couldn't keep repeating it over and over. I contemplated putting something on Facebook, forgetting that my Facebook posts are all public. I wondered if it was too personal, but said to myself, "I would rather say it once, and not have to keep explaining to everyone individually". I posted and set down my phone for the day. When I went back to my phone and turned it on, I couldn't believe how many shares Dawson's post had-how many individuals reached out to me personally with experience of the situation, whether it be professionals, or families that we're hurt through vaccines. I am so grateful, even at this time when I can barely bring myself to wake up in the morning that I went through with posting something on here. Thanks to this post, I have found support and answers as to how to make Dawson's life taken, not be for nothing. I do not want a mother, like myself, wake up to their child unreponsive and taken without saying goodbye. Not knowing the last diaper, kiss, bottle, hug being the last. It has been concluded that either the dtap or potosin was the culprit. Everything has come back normal in all of his reports. The hospital is unable to do the testing that it would require to find out exactly which one. I have to get an independent autopsy, which is costly, but completely needed to our family. I need to learn everything I can about this. And why him, when other babies get by fine. I need to know if they gave him a wrong vaccinations, or too much. I need the proper tests to be done. I need to get all the answers so I can try and make it aware to the public, so they can have the knowledge and research I have know now, before they trust to let the doctor do what he says is okay. I am not against vaccinations, even though I am killing myself wishing I never went through with taking him. I just feel the public is not told the real risks. Infact, my exact words to the doctor were " so I have heard that these vaccinations can cause autism.. are there certain ones he doesn't need right now or what is your opinion?" And he replied.. " that is a complete myth and autism is not linked to vaccinations. There are really no side effects to these vaccines". I have also come to realize that I was supposed to receive a consent form and sign it after being explained every pro and cons for each vaccinations. I did not receive any content forms or knowledge on the side effects to look for. I have a few lawyers that have reached out wanting to take Dawson's case on. My father is in the process of turning some of our farm property, into a legal cemetery, so I can give Dawson his own special spot. A special place for my special little boy. I will go next to him at some point. I am trying my very best to make the most out of the worst thing that has ever happened. And trying to find a way to live, by living through him. I will spend my life trying to prevent what happened to us, happen to someone else. The expenses to get all these private tests and my sweet boy back to New York are hefty, but we'll worth it. My dear friend started a go fund. Every penny will be used for these tests. Any 50 cents adds up and gets us one step closer. Please keep sharing his story, so no mommy ends up a mommy without her perfect baby.

Baby boy.... I love you-and I miss you so much that sometimes I can't breathe. I can't smile and it's hard to walk without you here. I keep grabbing your diaper bag when I get ready to walk out the door. I don't know where you are or if your okay, or if your lost and confused Wondering where I am. I miss you so much Dawson Patrick-Lee. I love you so much. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you so much. I really don't know how to do this without your smile and kisses, everyday. I hate not waking up to them or going to get holding you. I pray you can hear me and be okay. I'm trying my best to stay strong, because I believe you can still feel me. I'm trying to stay strong for you buddy.
https://www.gofundme.com/fund-for-baby-dawson-and-alex
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Everyone’s donations are appreciated so much more than they know. We have increased the “goal amount” as Alex and her family will be getting an independent autopsy and toxicology done and will need a lawyer as well. Also, she wants to bring her baby boy home to NY to have the funeral and will have to fly him from Colorado, as you can imagine that will not be cheap. Please, please, continue to share. Dawson’s story is touching so many hearts and they deserve more answers and a proper funeral to hopefully find some peace
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$7,290 of $15,000 goal

Raised by 214 people in 12 months
Created June 19, 2018
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