This summer, I made the decision to tell everyone in my life that I’m a man. I’ve been out to people in my life for over eighteen months, and actively seeking medical support with transitioning for the last twelve months. Coming out publicly, while also going through a break-up AND submitting my master’s thesis, is not a combination I’d recommend. 0/5 stars on Tripadvisor. I will not be returning.
Top-surgery is one of many gender affirming surgeries that trans people may choose to undergo. It is a surgery performed on the chest for those who wish to alter their chest appearance.
Top-surgery is something I have wanted since before I had the language to describe it. I bind every day. It is uncomfortable, and I don’t want to have to keep struggling to breathe.
But waiting for care in the Irish healthcare system will take years, and is just not feasible. Nor is travelling to Poland, on my own, to receive care from Dr. Lembas, like so many other trans people in Ireland have to do. Already, I’ve had to seek healthcare in the UK due to the extensive waiting times in the Irish system. I first spoke to a doctor about medical transition over a year ago. Despite having a waiting list number, it will take many more years before I get to see someone in this country.
But I have family and friends in Toronto, and I’ve found a doctor there.
The cost of top surgery in Canada, including flights, will be more than ten grand.
If you’re able to (and only if you’re able to), please consider donating to this fundraiser. There’s little I can give in return, but I’ve been told I give good hugs, and I like to bake. I’ll write you a poem?
I am not just a trans person. I am a friend, a student, a son, a brother. Unfortunately, because of the systemic barriers Irish trans people face in accessing healthcare, it’s been hard to focus on the other aspects of my identity lately. Legal and medical transition is expensive, time-consuming, tiring and disheartening. I’m looking forward to having more time to focus on baking banana bread again for my friends.
It is difficult to ask for help, but I am asking. And, if you think I’m handsome now, you can play a small role in making me even MORE handsome. Imagine the possibilities!
I’ve tried to keep this light-hearted, it’s very easy for me to make this sound funny. In all seriousness, coming out has been the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. There were many times over the last year where I did not think I could do this. I considered, several times, giving up; going back to feeling uncomfortable every time someone called my name, every time I entered a bathroom, every time I spoke.
But I did it. And I’m doing it. And wow, it is terrifying. And amazing.
And it feels like you’re all still here with me. So thank you.