I married a con artist from Canada

I am with my nephew at a cub's game - his mom (my sister) is mentally ill and completely checked out of reality. 

I can’t believe I married a con artist. A con artist that took all my money and I gave him citizenship. Some people might blame me, however what you don’t know about me is that I suffer from mental illness - bipolar.   Both my sisters are in their 30s and don’t have jobs because of such severe mental health issues. Interesting enough – all the mental health issues are on the female side of the family. It is my hope that others will learn from my mistakes.  We were married for 4.5 years and in that short time he stole $232,000 from my accounts, even prior marriage by knowing all my security information. He is so sick that even stole my old and current passports, driver’s licenses, and social security cards .  Immediately when we split, he liquidated all the accounts. I worked and he ‘traded’ his mom’s investment funds which she was going to give us money as dividends. Now I realize it was all a scam. He targeted me from the minute he met me– US citizen, naïve, trusting, and worked hard for her money. How did this happen? I keep asking myself that question. I was on the wrong psychiatric medicine when all my world crumbled. I was having panic attacks every time I thought of the divorce case and started hyperventilating. I struggled to keep breathing at times. I felt like someone was trying to suffer me with a pillow while laying down. Bottom line, I had a melt down when I saw him in the court room the day of trial. I was not in my right state of mind when asked to sign papers and unfortunately I signed them. I agreed and had to pay $100K of my 401k and $100K cash. In addition, I had to pay for his attorney fees and mine which were $200k by draining my 401k account. To my surprise, I lost everything that I have.

After the divorce process, I moved to get back to a highly recommended doctor that increased my anti-psychotic medicine, Risperidal. After two years of paying my ex husband, I ran out of my savings so stopped. As of today, I am expected to pay $2500/month for 7 years >> please recall we were only married 4.5 years and have NO KIDS. I have to face this every day. I live in a shoebox from the 1800s and eat frozen meals during the week. Taking my nephew to Chic-Fil-A on the weekend is major treat for me! I have had to find a place to live that I can barely afford myself and now he found me. According to this agreement that I signed, it’s not modifiable and I can’t claim being homeless or bankruptcy to get out of it. I can’t refuse to pay because he and his lawyer will go after any savings I have, put a lien on any home and my 401k. There’s no out. So I have attempted suicide. Not proud of it, but have had countless lawyers look at divorce settlement and they all say the same thing. Pay him. I can’t pay him and live. My question is why is a divorce settlement NON MODIFIABLE. Things come up. Life doesn’t work that. Who forecasted COVID? I want to share this so other women know to be careful. He clearly took advantage of my mental health and now I am being told by my lawyer to lie to the Judge and tell them that I am sorry for not making payments the last 2 years but I was mentally ill (which is the truth). I am to tell the Judge I am doing the best I can to make these payments. This is going to kill me to say this when it’s not reality.  

Ladies, my dad always told me growing up to find a man to take care of me. I married two awful men and they both lived off of me and drained me of my energy. I see countless women more productive, independent, intelligent and tenacious than the man they are with. Why do we all settle? I believe we can do such more without them sometimes. I am not saying all men are evil. I am saying be aware of who you are and what you sacrifice and compromise to be with your man.

I can’t offer you free GoFundMe awards like small family business, I can give you the confidence that you give me a little more peace of mind that there’s good in the world. Not everyone is a bully out for money. There’s positive and good people which is what I grasp on to now to keep going – hope.
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