Lexi's New Groove (Bottom Surgery)

Ok. So. My name is Alexis Parker, and I have a life-changing surgery—GCS, or SRS, vaginoplasty, or just “Bottom Surgery”—scheduled for August 2nd. The date was much further out, but I received a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get my surgery, with Dr. Christine McGinn: This. Year. IF I can come up with the money. Wow. Now what?

 

Turns out a LOT now, what. It's a very long to-do list. Don't worry, I'm on it, BUT! You, kind stranger, friend, or family member, can help with one of the most daunting things on that list: the massive medical bill I've incurred due to our dystopian medical system yayyy!

Don't get me wrong, my bottom surgery is worth literally any price, but the thing is, I just can't afford it.

 

The unfortunate truth is... I'm a musician. A saxophonist, to be precise. I know what you're thinking: Lexi, the saxophone?? That sounds so cool and sexy and lucrative! But let me tell you, you're only 2/3 right about that. Add to that some intense executive dysfunction as a result of neurodivergence, and you've got a recipe for broke-as-f*ck.

 

Which, unfortunately, is not uncommon for trans people, like myself.

 

I didn’t grow up well-off. I was raised by my mom, alone, and having that example of a single mother striving so hard to provide for me, and to teach and raise me—in her own words: “being my mother AND my father,”—I developed a pretty nuanced perspective on gender, pretty early on. I remember when I was in early high school, she took me to the Rocky Horror Picture Show (my first time).

 

I loved it. I joined the cast. It was my first real opportunity to explore my own gender and sexuality in a safe way. I was always one of the younger people there, by a year or two, all my other castmates were so welcoming and supportive—of my curiosity, my exploration...and also, fiercely protective. I never felt anything but safe there, which was a welcome change from the rest of my world. And I learned a LOT about gender presentation.

 

Fast-forward to when I came out as trans, about 3 or 4 years ago, I started to consciously observe the gender markers that other people performed UNconsciously. I started to consciously observe my OWN gender performance, and I started noticing a weird feeling when I observed certain behaviors. Things that society deemed “masculine.”

 

Eventually, it got to the point where any time I was expected to perform “like a dude,” either sexually, socially, professionally, or even just referred to as a “he”, triggered something inside me that I've since learned to recognize as a “fight or flight” response. Ya, my gender dysphoria was manifesting as a survival response. There's a word for that kind of repeated trauma: cPTSD. It's not great for you. It was, in a sense, slowly killing me.

 

So I practiced. I practiced staying present, not panicking when I was misgendered, I practiced my appearance and my mannerisms...everything about me, from the way I walk, to the pitch and tone of my voice, to my speech patterns, my skincare routine, the way I sit, the way I dance, the way I hold my hands, the way I cough, EVERYTHING. It was all practiced, exhaustively, over the last 3 years. I'm still practicing.

 

And you know what? I've come a long way. And I still have a long way to go. But there's one thing I CAN'T practice...and that is the shape of my genitals. Hence, Bottom Surgery. A very expensive surgery. Some of you might be thinking: “But Lexi, why Dr. McGinn? Why not just go to a cheaper surgeon for the biggest surgery of your life?”... well, curious viewer, I have a question for you: “Have...you seen Botched? The hit show about surgical mishaps and the effects on the patients' lives?” I'm not going to lie, it's definitely expensive, but here in good-old Louisiana, we're pretty short on surgeons who specialize in vaginoplasty.

 

Like I said, it's worth it. But it is a lot of money.

 

The medical expenses alone are going to cost over twenty-two THOUSAND dollars, and here's the kicker: my surgeon, Dr. Christine McGinn (one of the best in her field), does NOT take insurance of ANY kind. Now, I'm going to submit for reimbursement, but, if you've ever done that, you know that the insurance companies can be a bit...opaque about how much they'll cover. Or if they'll even cover it at all! That means, I don't know how much I'm going to owe. Add to that, the expenses of not working for 6 weeks, the cost of travel and lodging in Pennsylvania during the initial recovery, and incidental expenses like a stock of ensures, painkillers and ointments, a cushion for sitting...you get the idea. Point is, I'm going to have to come up with thousands and thousands of dollars. And on a musician's “salary,” that's not going to be easy.

 

That's where you come in. Whether it's because you love me, you like me, you feel passionately about the injustice of medical debt, or about trans rights...or you just think I'm cute and wanna see how much cuter I am without dysphoria, you can make a HUGE difference in the life of...me! A humble trans girl musician skater stranger. Or family member. Or friend.

 

Anyway, the point is, I. Need. Help.

 

I'm setting the initial goal for my GoFundMe at three-thousand, five-hundred dollars: the cost of the deposit I paid just to reserve the date. If all goes well (which I sincerely hope it does), I'm going to add a stretch goal of nine-thousand dollars, and if THAT goes well, I'm going to add a stretch goal of twenty-two-thousand dollars: almost the full cost of the surgery, not counting all those other expenses I mentioned.

 

Wow. It all seems pretty overwhelming when I lay it all out like that. Please, if you can spare anything, please help me get this life-changing, life-saving surgery before this opportunity fades. As you know, every little bit helps!

One last thing before you go: I'm in the difficult position of trying to keep my transness under wraps in my professional life, while still trying to reach as many people as possible with this campaign. So please, share this with as many people as possible, EXCEPT people that might know me in person. I've already reached out to everyone that knows I'm trans, so what I really need is to spread the word beyond my circle of personal acquaintances, whether or not you can contribute financially. Either way, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my story.

Be safe, and be well. :)