Hey guys, this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while but I kept trudging on trying to accomplish everything without anyone’s help. However, due to the virus, I (for now) lost my bartending and singing gig at Brauer House... As people stayed home our numbers dropped the past few show with big shows around the corner... but unfortunately everything came to a halt. This has caused severe financial stress on me and now I need help staying afloat.
I find it kinda weird and embarrassing but here:
I applied for disability due to my head injury (which prevents me from working a ‘normal’ job) however was denied (which they always deny) so I’m in the process of getting help from the state with a lawyer. Despite how I ‘look’, some of you know I was in a roll over accident just out of high school with left me with a traumatic brain injury, torn joints, ligaments, a crooked spine, seizures and a whole lot of PTSD and depression. ( My last seizure in 2015 resulted in me splitting my head open on the wood floor I seizured two times in a row and then stopped breathing...) I’ve passed out so many times and landed on my head/face I can’t even count.
My late teen and twenties were pretty much an endless horror of medical bills, medical problems, joint and muscle injections, MRI’s, CT scans, EEG’s EKG’s, physical therapy, stem cell injections, surgeries, suicide attempts, psych wards and a whole bunch of other boring goery details I’ll spare. It could have been worse, but I was not ok. Though I still persevered and finished college in Canada. Modeled in LA etc.. I desperately wanted all of this to be over and it not keep ruining my life.
Fast forward to now- my brain injury is really complicated and it’s been SO HARD to find the right medicine for me (yes I need medicine otherwise I go off the deep end, at least for now). It’s been really hard to treat- it’s basically like having bi polar and post concussive syndrome at the same time. They can’t even tell which is which - it’s really a mess. It makes day to day life difficult. But a few years later I’m finally on a concoction that works - for the most part. I feel better than I have in years but I’m still not there. I need heavy CBD treatment which is over $300/month, and TMS treatment which is EVERYDAY For minimum 6 weeks. Even if I didn’t lose my job, I wouldn’t be able to swing that if I was working.. Though I finally was pulling myself out, I got hit with the COVID-19 lay off....
I know I have a lot of people that support me and wonder or ask why I’m not ‘doing more’ with my art, writing and music... It’s because I’m constantly stressing about unrelated ways to make money, because I’m ill and only have 50% of the energy stamina of people my age.. it’s because I’ve spent so much time and money on medical shit I was discouraged and felt defeated...
But now, I want and need nothing more than to
stay home and make art, tutorials and music..I just need to get better - I have so many dreams and don’t want this illness or economic collapse to prevent me from accomplishing them. I’m using the quarantine time to make as much progress as possible ... I have time now to photograph all my clothing and art to make multiple stores online, track vocals, practice piano and guitar for hours, write music, continue MMA training and make self defense videos... I started live streaming and I really enjoy it and want to continue. I’m started a graphic novel and a WWII movie script... and two poetry books . There’s a lot going on in this head and now I need help to pay my bills and eat... I need to be able to sustain myself at home while I’m out of work.. None of us know know how long this will go on... I’m chipping away as much as I can during this time. I just need a little boost.
I don’t want to be a ‘bust out’ just asking for money, so I’m making a few options.
You can either donate towards my bills -or-
Purchase art things:
Custom fashion Art (selling what i have before taking commissions)
$5 donation = calligraphy hand written quote/lyrics or poetry of your choice
$5 livestream request
$10+ = song request
If you have any more creative ideas lmk - I was going to offer services like painting rooms or photography but it’s not worth the health risk for now.
I’ll be posting items for sale over the weekend ❤️
I know I have a lot of love and support, know I’m here for you guys also.. I greatly appreciate each and every one of you, thank you for ridin’ with me, believing me and your support.
- jabbar karim
- Scott Halvorsen
- Jeremy Jednachowski
- Shane McDonald