# Help Me Stay Alive — After 13 Years of Serious Injury, Trauma and Medical Struggle

I never thought I would have to ask strangers to help me stay alive.

I am asking for help because I have reached a point where I am frightened about what will happen to my health if I cannot access the treatment I urgently need.

This is not simply about rebuilding my life anymore.

**It is about trying to stay well enough to have a life to rebuild.**

For almost 13 years I have lived with the consequences of serious physical injury, trauma, chronic pain and a series of medical problems that I have repeatedly had to fight to have recognised and treated.

I have spent years being told that symptoms were anxiety, psychological, fibromyalgia or functional.

I became my own researcher because I had no choice.

And now I am exhausted.

**I cannot take much more.**

But I am still fighting.

## WHY I AM RELAUNCHING THIS GOFUNDME

I am having to relaunch this fundraiser because **my previous GoFundMe was closed/deactivated after one month, without my consent.**

I did not choose to end the fundraiser.

The need for help did not end either.

If anything, my health has deteriorated further since I first asked for help.

So I am starting again because I desperately need access to specialist healthcare and treatment, and because I cannot simply wait indefinitely while my body continues to deteriorate.

## MY JAW — THE MOST URGENT REASON I NEED HELP NOW

My jaw is now the most urgent reason I am fundraising.

I cannot chew a normal solid diet.

At the moment I am surviving on things such as chocolate buttons and prescribed milkshakes (which are always out of stock) because physically chewing ordinary food can cause unbearable pain.

If I force myself to eat solid food, the pain can become so severe that I would be screaming.

**This is not a lifestyle choice. I physically cannot eat normally.**

My mouth opening is approximately **14mm**.

I have been diagnosed with serious TMJ problems, including a displaced jaw disc and condylar beaking, alongside severe jaw, facial, head and ear pain.

And the situation is now affecting my teeth as well.

I have **lost teeth because of the problems affecting my jaw**, and I am currently dealing with a swollen mouth and a tooth that feels as though it is going to fall out.

I am frightened about what is happening inside my mouth.

The jaw is not an insignificant part of the body.

The temporomandibular joint is a highly complex joint and the most used joint in the human body, it is involved in eating, chewing and speaking, and jaw disorders can affect much more than simply the joint itself.

NHS information recognises symptoms including restricted mouth opening, difficulty eating, ear pain/fullness, headaches and neck pain.

For me, the symptoms extend far beyond simply having a sore jaw.

I experience severe pain and symptoms involving my:

* Jaw

* Face

* Teeth

* Ears

* Head

* Neck

* Occipital region

* Trigeminal nerve distribution

* Muscles around my jaw and neck

* Sinus/face area

* Vision

I experience neurological-type facial pain and severe head and neck symptoms, including occipital neuralgia, and I have also experienced visual disturbances and blind spots.

I am not claiming that every symptom has one single cause.

What I am saying is that **my jaw problems are part of a much larger and extremely complicated physical picture**, and I need specialists who understand that complexity rather than another fragmented appointment where one part of me is considered in isolation.

## I HAVE HAD TO PAY PRIVATELY JUST TO BE HEARD

Because of the difficulty accessing specialist care through the NHS, I have already paid privately to seek answers.

I have seen specialists including **Dr Luke Cassirini** and **Deepak Komath**.

I have been told that I need surgery.

One private specialist consultation cost **£300 for just half an hour online**.

I simply cannot continue paying these kinds of costs when I am already struggling financially and medically.

But when you are living with a mouth that barely opens, unable to chew properly, losing teeth and facing years on an NHS waiting list, you reach a point where you have to try everything you possibly can.

## THE NHS JAW PATHWAY IS EXTREMELY COMPLEX

One of the problems I have encountered is that Oral and Maxillofacial care sits across different areas of medicine and dentistry.

It is not as simple as seeing one doctor who deals with everything.

There are dental, surgical, neurological, pain and musculoskeletal aspects to what is happening.

I have repeatedly found myself needing different specialists to understand different pieces of the puzzle.

And because my history includes trauma, I have also experienced the devastating problem of having physical symptoms interpreted through a psychological lens.

**I know that anxiety and conversion disorder are real. I am a mental-health professional myself.**

I also know that anxiety does not mean a person's physical symptoms should automatically be dismissed.

For years I felt that being a woman made it easier for some of my physical symptoms to be attributed to anxiety, psychology or functional illness.

That became especially painful when later investigations and specialists identified serious physical problems.

I am not asking doctors to ignore mental health.

I am asking them to **look at the whole person.**

## MY JAW PROBLEMS DID NOT START YESTERDAY

My jaw problems go back much further than my formal diagnosis.

I was given a mouth guard by a dentist when I was around 18.

But I did not receive a clear explanation for the extent of what was happening.

In 2025, a consultant finally diagnosed serious TMJ problems and told me that I had probably experienced TMJ problems throughout much of my life.

The violent attack I experienced in 2014, followed by years of physical strain and major spinal surgery, appear to have significantly aggravated what was already there.

For years I had no name for what was happening.

Now I have diagnoses.

But **having a diagnosis does not automatically mean receiving treatment.**

## I WAS TOLD I WOULD RECEIVE TREATMENT — AND THEN IT DIDN’T HAPPEN

Gloucestershire Royal Hospital, Maxillofacial discussed Botox approximately every three months as something that could help with my jaw problems.

There were discussions, promises and an MDT process.

But despite this, I did not receive the ongoing treatment I had been led to expect.

Every delay has consequences when you can barely open your mouth and cannot eat normally.

I have been told that the NHS waiting list for jaw surgery could be approximately **four years**.

I cannot realistically wait four years while I am unable to chew, losing weight and teeth, struggling with nutrition and becoming increasingly unwell.

## MY NEXT HOPE — QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL BIRMINGHAM

I have an appointment coming up at **Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham** to see a jaw surgeon.

That appointment represents hope.

I need the opportunity to be assessed by someone who understands complex jaw pathology and can tell me what treatment I actually need.

If NHS waiting times are medically unrealistic for me, fundraising may allow me to access appropriate private specialist consultations and treatment rather than simply waiting while my health continues to deteriorate.

## I HAVE BEEN THIS ILL BEFORE

I know what it is like for my body to become dangerously depleted.

I previously lost approximately **3½ stone**.

In 2019, a nurse at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital`described me as **“cachexic.”**

That same year I developed a bowel blockage which required treatment at Gloucester Royal Hospital.

I now feel virtually as ill as I did then.

I have experienced gastroparesis, severe nausea and sickness, severe constipation and significant bowel dysfunction.

As far back as 2016, Gloucester Gastroenterology told me that I should essentially live on laxatives.

My body has struggled for years with eating, digestion, nutrition and functioning normally.

I am frightened because I recognise some of those patterns again.

I am not saying I know exactly what will happen.

I am saying that **I know what happened before, and I am terrified of getting back to that point.**

## MY SPINE — AND LOSING MY MOBILITY

My spinal injuries include **Grade 2 spondylolisthesis, spinal stenosis and bilateral pars defects**, alongside severe nerve and mobility problems.

My right side deteriorated so badly that I could no longer walk properly.

I underwent a **7½-hour TLIF spinal fusion at L4-L5**.

I desperately hoped that surgery would allow me to regain mobility and get my life back.

Instead, I continued to have serious problems.

My left side is now severely affected.

I have experienced:

* Foot drop

* Dragging my left leg

* Numbness through my shin and calf

* Severe hip, back and nerve pain

* Significant mobility problems

* Bowel and bladder dysfunction

* Urinary retention

* Concerns about possible cauda equina syndrome

In 2026, I attended Gloucestershire Royal Hospital, A&E with symptoms concerning for possible cauda equina problems. I was left waiting on the floor for around **5½ hours** while extremely unwell.

Gloucestershire Royal Hospital is well known locally as the "Cattle Market". This is because people are left in corridors, bleeding, crying, no beds, only young nurses and no drs until they are called in.

I have also been waiting for appropriate pain management for years but instead i have been left with opioids that block my bowel, severely high doses of diazepam which is a benzidine and dangerous, it is only supposed to be prescribed for four weeks maximum at the lowest possible dose.

The withdrawals are dangerous, I am constantly left without my medication, and pushed into forced withdrawal.

## MY NEUROSURGEON HAS WRITTEN FOUR TIMES ABOUT MY DEBILITATION AND PAIN

This is particularly important to me because I have not simply been asking for stronger medication because I am in pain.

My neurosurgeon has written **four times** regarding my need for appropriate pain relief, regular pain-clinic involvement and the extent of my **debilitation**.

Despite this, I still have not had the regular pain-clinic support I have been told I need.

I have spent years trying to obtain appropriate pain management while living with severe physical disability.

I am exhausted from repeatedly having to explain how much pain I am in and how much my ability to function has deteriorated.

I don't want a lifetime of medication.

I want the underlying conditions properly investigated and treated.

I want a coordinated medical plan.

I want to be able to function.

## VASCULAR THORACIC OUTLET SYNDROME

On **24 July 2026**, I was diagnosed with **vascular thoracic outlet syndrome (vTOS)** involving arterial compression, which I have been suffering with since the attack (12 years).

This has added another frightening layer to an already complex situation.

I experience extreme pain, pressure and tightness around my neck, shoulders, shoulder blades and ribs, together with severe symptoms affecting both arms and hands.

My hands can become agonisingly painful, red and swollen, particularly through my palms.

I experience:

* Numbness

* Pins and needles

* Altered sensation

* Severe pain

* Weakness

* Loss of dexterity

* Prominent/bulging veins

* Pain and tightness through my arms and shoulders

* Difficulty raising my arms above my head

There is concern about the potential risk of vascular complications, including blood clots, which requires appropriate medical assessment and management.

This is not simply pain.

**I am losing the practical use, strength and dexterity of my hands.**

I constantly drop things.

I have dropped and damaged my phone.

I have damaged my laptop.

I spill things because I cannot reliably grip and control everyday objects.

I have even burned myself using the kettle.

I struggle to hold and manipulate everyday objects.

I struggle to lift my arms above my head.

I struggle to straighten and style my hair.

Things that most people do without thinking have become difficult, painful or unsafe.

Below is an extract from my NHS app, explaining many of my symptoms and injuries, all untreated.

21 July 2026 12:11 pm

Note -

Coded entry - Differential diagnosis (XSMiS); 1. Thoracic outlet syndrome; 2. Chornic, post-traumatic TMJ dysfunction; 3. Mechanical neck and back pain.

Coded entry - Plan (XaIVg); Report of findings; Explained complexity of clinical picture; To await appointment with neurosurgeon ; Specialist opinion on TOS; Specialist maxillofacial opinion for TMJ; Advised important of remaining active and undertaking physical activity;

Note to GP (MS)

Coded entry - Patient given advice (8CA..)

Coded entry - Examination of musculoskeletal structure (Xa2hh); Walking unaided but appears unstable (?balance); Observation: speech appears affected through inability to fully open jaw; CROM - -ve; LROM -ve (can fully flex to touch toes); Palpation - areas of resitricted segmental movement C2/3, C5/6, T7/8, L4/5; Absent R biceps - other upper limb reflexes 2/2; Sensation and motor power upper limb -ve; Absent patellar reflexes, reduced Achilles reflexes; sensation and motor power normal; SLR 90/90; Restricted hip ROM bilaterally; TMJ examination - tenderness over masseter and temporalis muscles L>R; Restricted TMJ opening bilaterally; +ve thoracic outlet tests (+ve Wrights Hyperabduction test > radial pulse disappears)

Coded entry - Musculoskeletal limb symptoms NOS (XE1Fs); 1. Thoracic outlet syndrome; 2. L TMJ pain ; Vicitim of DA 2013; Thrown onto concrete floor - 13y ago; Hands get cold - swelling over palmar aspect of hand; Feels like veins have trapped under bone; Co-parenting with abuser; Trauma informed psychotherapist; Displaced TMJ disc; Suffers with NTOS; Seen MDT team; Unhappy with service from NHS - expressed dissatisfaction; Compreswsion in TOS left and right - lose control of hands - difficult deterity, carrying overhead; Progressively worsening; Occipital neuralgia; Says waspoorly treated; Historically treated with opioids > bowel blockage; Told was anxious and hypertical; Concerns that scans had been misread; Reports stenosis, bulging disc, neck not right.; Had TLIF spinal fusion 2024 ; Issues with TMJ led to significant weight loss (couldn't eat); Southmead - multiple scans - awaiting results; On Diazepam 'but not enough'; Historically runner - marathons and ultramarathons; 'Wants to live'; Works as psychotherapist and grief counsellor; Not had any treatment for NTOS or TM'Been treated badly and like a hysterical woman'.; Liquid diet - can't chew; Paid to see private max-fax 'jaw is displaced'; Describes bilateral visual loss ?sugested ocular migraine > symptoms seen to be progressing. gets unialteral black eye with white outline; 'Can't eat, got no life, in constant pain'.; Sees Dr regularly.; Seen physio 21/7. ;

Coded entry - Thoracic outlet syndrome (F3303

## MY VISION AND NERVE PAIN

I have also experienced significant visual disturbances, including bilateral and unilateral visual symptoms and blind spots.

I have occipital neuralgia and severe head and neck pain.

I experience symptoms affecting my jaw, face, ears, head, neck, nerves and vision alongside the rest of my physical conditions.

When all of these symptoms are happening together — the visual problems, vascular symptoms, hand dysfunction, mobility problems, spinal symptoms and neurological pain — it is frightening.

I am not asking people to diagnose me.

I am asking for the opportunity to access the right specialists and for someone to look at the whole picture.

## MEDICATION — AND THE CONSTANT FIGHT TO GET IT

I have been prescribed medication for severe pain, muscle spasms and extreme muscular tightening.

Diazepam has become particularly complicated.

I repeatedly have to chase GP surgeries, pharmacies and NHS services when prescriptions are due.

There have been occasions when I have been left without medication and experienced what feels like forced withdrawal.

When that happens, my muscles become extremely tight and rigid, the pain becomes agonising, I cannot sleep properly and I can barely move.

I do not want to depend on medication forever.

What I want is appropriate treatment for the underlying conditions and a proper medical plan, rather than repeatedly finding myself in cycles of prescribing problems, withdrawal and crisis.

## TWELVE YEARS OF TRAUMA — AND FIGHTING TO BE BELIEVED

My physical illness cannot be separated from what happened to me.

In 2014, I was violently attacked.

I was thrown around my kitchen, thrown through my front door and landed on my back on concrete.

My children were young and witnessed what happened.

I needed protection and medical care.

What followed became almost **13 years of fighting to be believed.**

I experienced domestic abuse, coercive control, safeguarding concerns and what I experienced as serious failures by services that should have protected and supported me.

There were times when professionals appeared to see an anxious or psychological woman rather than a woman whose body was telling them that something was physically wrong.

I was even told by police words to the effect of:

**“You don't look very beaten.”**

Those experiences changed me.

They taught me something I carry into my own professional work:

**You cannot understand someone's suffering simply by looking at them.**

## I HAVE BEEN A SINGLE MUM THROUGH THIS

For almost all of these 13 years, I have also been a **single mother**.

I have tried to raise my children while living through trauma, pain, medical uncertainty, appointments, operations, disability and the constant fight to get help.

And I am a **grandmother** too.

There are people I love and people who need me.

I don't want my story to end with illness.

I want the chance to be present for the people I love.

## THE TWO NAOMIS

Sometimes it feels as though there are two versions of me.

There is **Naomi the counsellor** — the woman who studied psychology, mental health, counselling and psychotherapy, who researches, learns, works, volunteers weekly health allowing) as a grief counsellor, supports other people and built Wise Minds Counselling and Psychotherapy to help people who are struggling.

And then there is **sick Naomi**.

The woman who cannot chew.

The woman who is in constant pain.

The woman who sometimes cannot walk properly.

The woman dealing with bladder and bowel problems.

The woman whose hands cannot reliably grip things.

The woman who drops, spills and breaks things.

The woman who cannot reliably lift her arms.

The woman who spends hours chasing prescriptions, referrals and appointments.

The woman who lies awake wondering how much longer her body can keep going.

Sometimes it feels impossible that these are the same person.

But they are.

And I refuse to allow **sick Naomi** to erase everything else that I am.

## SOMETHING GOOD FROM SOMETHING TERRIBLE

I would never say that what happened to me was good.

The violence, trauma, pain and medical struggle have taken an enormous amount from me.

But I have tried to transform what I have lived through into something that can help other people.

My lived experience has made me a more compassionate counsellor.

I understand what it feels like to be dismissed.

I understand trauma.

I understand fear.

I understand chronic pain.

I understand what it is like to be told something is psychological when you know something physical is wrong.

I understand what it feels like when the very services you need do not listen.

That is part of why I built **Wise Minds Counselling and Psychotherapy**.

I wanted to create the kind of understanding and support that I needed myself.

## WHY I AM FUNDRAISING

I am not fundraising for a luxury life.

I am fundraising because I need access to healthcare and support that I cannot realistically fund myself.

The money will help towards:

* **Specialist jaw assessment and treatment**

* Private specialist consultations where NHS waiting times are not realistic

* Jaw surgery and associated healthcare costs

* Dental treatment arising from the deterioration of my jaw and teeth

* Specialist neurological, pain and musculoskeletal assessments where necessary

* Travel to specialist hospitals and appointments

* Physiotherapy or hydrotherapy where appropriate

* Essential healthcare costs arising from my complex conditions

* Basic living and recovery costs while I am struggling to function normally and fighting for treatment

**My first priority is my jaw.**

I cannot continue indefinitely unable to chew properly, losing teeth, dealing with swelling and struggling to maintain adequate nutrition.

But the reality is that my body is now affected in multiple interconnected ways.

I need the opportunity to get the right specialists involved before further function is lost.

## I DON'T WANT TO DIE — I WANT TO LIVE

After everything I have been through, I could have given up.

But I haven't.

I am still here.

I am still studying.

I am still working when my health allows.

I am still trying to help other people.

I am still a mother.

I am a grandmother.

And I am still trying to build a future.

But I am exhausted.

**I cannot take much more of living like this without appropriate treatment and support.**

I don't want people to feel sorry for me.

I want an opportunity.

An opportunity to get treatment.

An opportunity to eat normally.

An opportunity to walk.

An opportunity to use my hands safely.

An opportunity to sleep without agonising pain.

An opportunity to stop fighting the system long enough to actually fight for my health.

An opportunity to be **Naomi again**, rather than feeling like I am only “sick Naomi.”

### I WANT TO STAY ALIVE.

If you can donate, however small, it could help me access the specialist care I desperately need.

If you cannot donate, **sharing this fundraiser could make an enormous difference.**

After almost 13 years of fighting to be heard, I am asking people to hear me now.

**Please help me stay alive long enough to get the treatment I need and rebuild the life I have fought so hard not to lose.**

Thank you for reading my story.

**Naomi x**

UPDATE 15/9/2026

### Today's Birmingham appointment has left me heartbroken

Today I travelled to Birmingham for my long-awaited Maxillofacial appointment with **Jason Green**.

I honestly don't know how to put into words how I feel tonight.

There was important confirmation today, but it has also left me devastated because of what it means for the road ahead.

Jason Green confirmed that I **do have disc displacement in my jaw (TMJ)**.

This is something I had already been told privately by **Deepak Komath**, after paying **£300 for a 30-minute consultation**. I had been saying for a long time that there was something seriously wrong with my jaw, yet I have struggled to get that diagnosis recognised within the NHS pathway.

It has taken finally getting to Birmingham and seeing Jason Green for this to be confirmed within the NHS Maxillofacial pathway.

And that matters.

Because if a condition isn't formally diagnosed or recognised within the NHS pathway, it becomes incredibly difficult to get the treatment for it.

From my experience, it has felt like I have been caught in a system where if something isn't recognised, it doesn't have to be treated — and ultimately that leaves me waiting while the years continue to pass.

Today Jason Green confirmed the disc displacement and explained that the muscles around my jaw need **Botox to relieve the muscular component**.

But the Botox has to be done by **Gloucestershire Maxillofacial first**, before I return to Birmingham for another review in approximately six months.

This is the part that has broken me.

I was meant to have this Botox **around a year ago**.

Instead, another year has passed.

And now I have been told to go back and have the treatment that I was already supposed to have had, before Birmingham can continue with the next stage.

### Four years has now become even longer

I was already facing an NHS wait of approximately **four years for jaw surgery**.

After everything that has happened, I had hoped that today's appointment might finally shorten that journey.

Instead, I feel as though another **18 months has potentially been added to my wait** while I go through another stage of treatment and review.

I am heartbroken.

I am devastated.

Because this isn't simply about waiting for an operation.

**I am currently surviving on prescribed milkshakes because I cannot eat normally. Even those milkshakes are regularly out of stock, leaving me frightened about how I am supposed to maintain my nutrition.**

My jaw is severely restricted and painful. Eating has become something I have to think about rather than something I can simply do.

I am struggling to speak.

I am trying to survive physically while waiting for a treatment pathway to catch up with what my body is actually experiencing.

**I cannot imagine waiting another 18 months in this condition. I am genuinely scared about what will happen to my nutrition and my health if I am left waiting that long.**

And then there is the speech and facial problem.

I explained to Jason Green about my **speech loss/change, lisp and the feeling that the left side of my face and mouth has collapsed or dropped**.

He does not believe these symptoms are caused by the displaced TMJ disc and has recommended **Speech and Language Therapy** so that my speech can be assessed separately.

I understand that he is making a clinical distinction between my jaw condition and these other symptoms. But it means I now have another pathway to navigate and another set of questions about what is causing these problems.

### Why I am still fundraising

This is exactly why I am continuing to ask for help.

I need the ability to seek **specialist private assessments and treatment when NHS waiting times are simply too long**, and to cover the travel and associated costs of getting to specialist centres.

I have already paid privately to try to get answers because I could not simply sit and wait while my ability to eat, speak and function deteriorated.

I never wanted to be in this position.

I never wanted to have to explain my body to strangers on the internet.

But I have reached the point where **waiting is no longer something I can simply endure indefinitely**.

Today should have felt like a victory because a specialist has finally confirmed the disc displacement.

Instead, I came away feeling completely broken by the realisation of how much longer the journey may now be.

I have spent years trying to get someone to listen, recognise what is happening and actually treat it.

**I don't want another year of my life to disappear while I wait.**

I want to eat normally.

I want to speak without fighting my own body.

I want to have a life that isn't organised around pain, waiting lists, appointments and trying to convince people that something is wrong.

If you can donate, please know that it isn't simply helping me towards an operation.

It is helping me access the possibility of **getting treatment sooner, maintaining nutrition, travelling to specialist appointments and having options when the NHS pathway leaves me waiting for years.**

If you can't donate, **sharing my fundraiser is just as valuable**.

I am so grateful to everyone who has stood beside me so far.

I am exhausted. I am frightened. And tonight, I am heartbroken.

But I am still trying.

Thank you for helping me keep going. ❤️

Naomi x

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