I've been having a hard time in my life. Bullies, physical and mental abuse in my childhood, dealt with depression along with suicidal thoughts and actions, had a lot of friends in my life and family who had the same but didn't survive. I've never felt safe or comfortable in my state, which is ruled by bigots and racists and sexists and religious zealots (Or so it seems to me.)
I've grown up with ADHD (Since conquered... I think?) Depression, Autism (Asperger), Insomnia, Occasional narcolepsy, obesity, Gender Dysphoria, self doubt, crippling social anxiety, chronic and repeating migraines, failed religious indoctrination from fanatical family, and so so many other things.
I've been lied to, told that I'm things that I'll never be, and people have tried to force me to accept all these things, and be what they want me to be. They've ingrained into my mind that the world is out to get me, and there's no good in this world, and I have no place in it. Thankfully, the internet has taught me otherwise, given me hope, allowed me to find love, allowed me to start accepting myself and discover who I really am.
I know I have no real business asking, no one has any reason to give me anything, I haven't earned it, I know that, but I also know my mind is trying to convince me that it's hopeless because that's how I was raised. But if any of you kind strangers of the internet are willing to lend a hand, and I reach success, I'd be beyond happy to pay it forward in the future, with funding medical research, charities, and other people like me in the LGBT community through things like this.
OKAY! SO! That brings us here.
I'll explain a little bit of points here in my usual kinda disorganized way.
- I've struggled with gender dysphoria for all my life. I'm a male and hope to one day be a female, with help. Need to get money to pay for hormones, and maybe even the surgical side of things if I ever get the confidence to part with my 'equipment'.
- I'm trying to get somewhere on Youtube and Twitch but technological limitations of laptop overheats and video corruptions have been making it beyond difficult to dedicate time into it. I need a better computer, ideally a desktop for better storage space and no overheating. I'd love to be able to pursue this full time for gaming, music, cooking, storytelling, and maybe even educating other young trans people with my experiences!
- I live in Texas, and would ideally like to get my car's battery replaced, destroyed front suspension fixed, power steering leak fixed, and other necessities, so that I can move up to Indianapolis with my boyfriend, where it's much cooler and less populated by bigots (The people are much nicer and more accepting up there! I got to spend a month there, also visited Chicago, it was super fun!) And maybe even help split living expenses with my boyfriend, and help us move to an actual house instead of a little apartment.
Not sure much else what to say, so I guess I'll just put in a little about myself.
Born May 17th 1999, adopted, non-religious.
Also, I know not everyone in Texas is bad. I've met a lot of wonderful people here! Sadly, we're all just small people, no one that can make a difference in the overall state of the state, and not really any very local in my town. I live in an area of Texas where there's a lot of people of very negative personalities, behaviors, opinions, and who I'm afraid might be violent if I say the wrong things. I rarely leave my house, because I genuinely have lingering fears of those around me. I've already been physically attacked a few times, and almost shot by a corrupt officer who lied and claimed I pointed a gun at them, when I was a younger teen AND half the drivers here are road ragers, speed freaks, oblivious, or suicidal. Plus I have some kind of problem where above 80 degrees for an extended period, I start to collapse, pass out vomit, sweat myself to dehydration, and other really bad and dangerous health effects. In Texas. Where 80 is sometimes considered to be a cool day. If I don't get out of here sooner or later, I'm sure the people or the climate are going to kill me.
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