More about Bébhinn and Trevor's story can be found below, in Bébhinn's own words:
"Trevor and I were married on June 23rd, 2017. Our wedding day was perfect; we were surrounded by so much love and happiness, it felt like God was so close, and all our hopes and dreams seemed to be coming true.
In mid-August we were overjoyed to learn that I was pregnant. (The romantic in me had been naively hoping for a honeymoon baby, even though that would have put the due date smack in the middle of Holy Week. With Trevor’s job as Director of Liturgy and Music, we had a good chuckle over the fact that God, in His wisdom, didn’t allow that to happen. We happily looked forward to an April due date instead.)
My fallopian tube ruptured on Monday, September 11th 2017, but at the time we didn’t realize that’s what had happened. By the next morning, my shoulders felt like they were being torn from their sockets, and I was having trouble breathing. We went for an ultrasound—my first ever. I will never forget it. The tech was so sweet and positive, explaining the procedure to us beforehand and telling us that she’d send us home with some “fun pictures.” And then once we started, I remember her silence. Click, click, click. She kept searching. I laid there in the silence, my shoulders screaming at me. Finally she spoke: “There’s nothing in your uterus.” She brought the doctor in, and they both agreed we needed to go to the ER right away. My uterus was empty, something looked unusual near my left ovary, and my abdomen was full of fluid—probably blood.
I had emergency surgery that same day, during which they had to remove my entire left tube. We were devastated by the loss of our precious baby, our first baby, but we knew we’d have other children. The surgeon said that my other tube looked fine, that we should wait a few months before trying again, but that many women go on to have successful pregnancies after an ectopic. We were so hopeful.
In January I became pregnant with our second child. As a precaution, since I now had a history of ectopic pregnancy, my hormone levels were being checked on a regular basis to make sure they were rising at the correct rate. The first two readings were on the low side, but seemed to be rising within the “normal” range. In addition, I felt very different from how I had felt during my first pregnancy. I felt good, and we were sure everything was just fine. In fact, my biggest worry at the time was that my October due date was so close to my sister Maggie’s upcoming wedding!
At exactly 7 weeks I started spotting bright red. Dr. Dennehy, (a Godsend to us through this entire journey!) called me that morning with my hormone levels from the day before: they were too low. They weren’t rising fast enough. It looked like another ectopic.
I ended up having surgery two days later, on Friday February 23rd, 2018. They tried to save my right tube—my only tube—by they weren’t able to. It’s impossible to put into words how drastically our lives changed in that one day. In a million years I never would have imagined that at age 30, exactly 8 months after getting married, I would be completely sterile. Our love as husband and wife will never generate new life. I will never experience the unique joys of pregnancy and childbirth. This is a cross we never thought we’d be asked to carry. Sometimes, in fact, it seems too heavy, too impossible to carry. But we’re not carrying it alone; we have each other, and we have our two babies in Heaven. I am comforted knowing that they are being loved and cradled in the arms of Our Lady, who is a better mother for them than I could ever hope to be.
In all of our loss and sorrow, there has been a ray of hope. We still feel strongly called to be parents and raise a family, and there can be no question now as to how God is asking us to fulfill that calling. Before we got married, Trevor and I had talked about being open to adoption “one day.” We now see that God’s idea of “one day” is a lot sooner than our idea of “one day.” We’re not sure how all the pieces will fall into place, but if there is one thing He’s been teaching us over the past 8 months, it’s that He has a plan, and we need to trust and follow that plan.
We are eternally grateful for all the generosity that has already been shown to us. All the prayers, meals, flowers, visits, gifts, and encouraging words have meant the world to us. Your ongoing prayers are the greatest gifts for us, especially as we ask for the intercession of our two babies in Heaven to help us grow our family here on earth. Saint Brighton Clare and Saint Gabriel Anthony, pray for us!"
Please know that Bébhinn and Trevor are keeping all of you in their prayers as they move forward with the adoption process.
- Alex Sacco
- John Reynolds
Organizer and beneficiary
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