Please help me to feel safer with FFS

>Hello,

My name is Emmy (she/her). I’m a 43 year old single mother who’s transgender, and autistic. I am requesting  assistance to something that is very dear and essential to me, especially in today’s uncertain world: facial feminisation surgery

Today’s climate is not very friendly towards transfolk. A lot of people say it takes a lot of bravery to come out as trans and transition. I’ve never really thought of it that way; to me, it was a must-do. I can’t imagine life living as a cis-gendered male. Being transgender is both a curse and a blessing. Too many people talk about us as being subhuman, for instance, I’ve been called “it” far too often. The counterpoint is the postive though, because we are living as we feel inside.

I’ve known a lot of loss since I transitioned in 2016. I’ve lost my family, both nuclear and immediate. My dad told me I’m living a lie, and that I’m disturbed. My ex-wife continues to disparage my gender diversity. Fortunately, I still have a loving daughter who loves, and appreciates me as her mum, as well as a handful of family members that didn’t turn their back on me when I needed their help the most. To make matters more uncomfortable, living as autistic makes it difficult to grow our network because, I like many, struggle with interpersonal communication and reading non-verbal cues.

My main goal during these trying times we’re facing is to be the best mother I can be. Im hanging in there, and loving every minute of it, but my existence is profoundly difficult. Body and voice dysphoria are an insidious worm that digs itself a hole in one’s psyche. Today’s medical marvels have allowed for Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS). These modifications to my body are, ultimately, the only real "cure" for my depression and dysphoria  While I work very hard to be mindful and positive, being transgender and feeling non-passing is profoundly difficult on one’s comfort in their existence. . 

I saw a preeminent surgeon in Boston named Dr Jeffrey Spiegel in 2017 for a FFS consult. His current price for FFS is my campaign amount. I now live in the Bay Area, and with the change in locality the prices are guaranteed to be more here. I've shared a copy of the quotes below. The truth is I’ve I don't have near that money, and am desperate to get it done. I'm on short-term disability for severe depression and anxiety. Much of my depression just comes from hating what I see in the mirror back at me. It’s a gut wrenching pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. This is where I’m hoping enough people can chip in whatever they’re able to collectively get me past that goal marker. 

I want to thank anyone and everyone in advance for any help that can be given. I dream of loving the face I see reflected in the mirror and not constantly face the internal pain of being misgendered.

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I’ve posted a link to his website, along with the UCSF transgender center for those to get a better idea of what this entails, as well as the wonderful work that can be done.
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https://www.drspiegel.com/ffs-facial-femininization-surgery/

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https://transcare.ucsf.edu


Thank you for reading, and please share if you can. It’ll make a big impact on my  life.

Sincerely,

Emmy

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Organizer

Emelia Sterrett 
Organizer
Fremont, CA
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