Support Sutter Family

In the words of my cousin Vanessa Sutter.

“I have 8 children ages 7 months to 11 years old. In May I came to visit my family in Iowa. While I was here I asked my husband for a mutual separation. I have been pregnant or nursing for the past 12 years. I was drained and had low self esteem. I am known for always putting others before myself.

Although we have lived a very one sided marriage I always tried my best to keep things running well. I didn’t think a separation was too much to ask for someone who constantly gave their all. I really did everything from house maintenance to working 3 jobs at one time to make sure we had sufficient income so that we would not go without during the summer/fall months. He was often known for staying in his room, making demands, playing games or watching tv.

While I have been in Iowa I got a full-time summer job to help with bills, found childcare so that my mom wasn’t overwhelmed with 8 children and my mom allowed me to stay in her 2 bedroom apartment that is attached to her house while I was visiting. The cost was that I help with utilities.

Two weeks after we were gone my husband said he was a renewed Christian who wanted to be more involved with the kids and with me. He said he realized all the neglect he had given me and began to “love bomb” me. I was overwhelmed and frustrated asking for space because my mind was spiraling. At this point I began to realize I had been living a codependent life and I decided to no longer be codependent.

When he realized that I wasn’t budging to come home because it takes time for people to truly change (and I so desperately wanted him to change) he asked for the kids to be down in Missouri June 12th for his baptism, his grandpas funeral and VBS. This was understandable because I was sure he missed them. So he took 7 kids because the baby is still breastfed. Although he was disappointed Morgan wasn’t going he left him with me. The agreement was that I could come and pick up the kids after June 28th. Every time I talked to him he acted like things were good. He pushed me a week back from picking them up so they could spend time with my sister. Things were good and then on June 27th I just got served divorce, visitation plans and temporary custody papers.

These papers state that the kids are not able to cross lines because I am not able to provide adequate care while I am working or adequate sleeping arrangements among other things. He claimed that I changed my residential address and had moved out. However this was only temporary because like I stated before I was simply staying up here as means to help family, pay our summer bills, take care of myself and just have a vacation. I am in fact still employed as a bus driver in Missouri but school doesn’t start til August and my paychecks don’t start until September.

I unfortunately need help fast because I am not an Iowa resident. I am still a Missouri resident and now I am a Missouri resident without a home as he removed me from the lease on the house. If my mom was unable to provide me a room I would be homeless.  He has requested a temporary motion for custody that doesn’t allow the kids to even cross state lines. He is filing for sole physical custody with me just having visitation of the kids, he is demanding that our 15 passenger van (my only form of transportation to work) stays with all the children for transportation purposes and that I get a secondary vehicle and split the cost of a car tow.

Since an attorney is quite expensive and this will be a high conflict divorce we are asking for donations to help secure an attorney, help with gas to get back and forth from Iowa to Missouri during July, and ensure I can get a 3 bedroom house set for August to get ahead of this. 

Thank you and many blessings.