Support Mental illness people

Hi every one my name is khalil i just turned 23 yrs old. I I have severe issues with my mental illness(Bipolar-Disorder 2 - Anxiety -OCD- Depersonalization and Derealization disorder and depression). Iam struggling a lot with my life and I wish that my life become better everyday Iam dealing with depression, anxiety and other disorders. I tried to go to a good psychiatrist they said we only accept cash or American express card . they told me the consultation fee only is 450-550 $ I don`t have that kind of money and I have no job because of my mental illness disability and If i have this money I need to see psychiatrist every two weeks at least plus the expensive medications. my mother and father are divorced I have only one brother who is studying at college.my father doesn`t understand mental illness and doesn`t support me plus I have to pay $600 rent sharing room with someone.  I really didn't excpect that life will be that way. Some days when I don't have the rent I sleep in long stops  subway carrying my medications with me . I feel lonely ,I solated . I have suicidal thoughts one time before R train coming I haed suicidal thought and thoughts were telling me throw your self In front of that train . The only thing that stopped me from committing a suicide having faith and believe in god. I was in communiyy college majoring in computer science and unfortunately I drooped out from all of my classes. Life is hard and everthing around is about money drs need money rent, phone bill , medications there is medication called latuda 30 tablets is $1.300 only one of alot I use Lamictal sleep pills and I alway say tomorrow is going to be best . I really suffer and struggling in my life . I cannot generate money no job no college no nothing but I have only one choice to accept all of that . I wish that I could have enough money and I Just want to focus on my mental illness diseases. I believe that god got me always and I have that faith for sure