Support BJ's Fight for His Child's Safety

Hi Everyone,

We are asking for donations to help raise money for an attorney for BJ’s custody battle.

Recently, BJ was awarded emergency custody in Stanislaus County due to the other party being deemed unfit, by the Court and Child protective Services. When other party didn’t like what she was told she then went to Santa Clara County and filed to revert the emergency orders. The Judge in Santa Clara County granted other party custody because she had no idea of all the evidence given in the Stanislaus county order. We are in fear for his child’s safety, as the other party has already lost the life of one child due to her lifestyle and choices.

In the last 10 months, other party was living in Stanislaus County. She was fleeing Santa Clara County due multiple family violence/domestic violence attacks against her and the children. After a couple of short months living in Stanislaus County, she allowed her abuser to move back into her home, where she was exposing all 3 children to extreme acts of domestic abuse, as well as allowing her abuser to harm her children. There were instances where BJs son told him her 14-year-old son engaged in acts of violence, against other parties’ abuser that included: attacking him with a baseball bat; and cutting abusers arm open with a knife. It was explained that the oldest child felt he had to protect his family due to other party choices. BJ’s son would hide in a closet completely terrified and cry. His older brother was his protector and did the best he could to keep his siblings safe. At this point, other party and abuser are abusing, both drugs and alcohol. Eventually, charges were also filed in Stanislaus County. Other party was evicted from her townhome and was able to move into another home where BJ was told by other party, that she was in hiding from her abuser. Less than a month later other party went to court, recanted her story, and yet again moved her abuser back in her home. Other party was evicted after a short time due to her having a homeless community living at her residence, per her mother and father. Unbeknownst to BJ, she was staying at a park in her car with all 3 children and her abuser. Both her mother and father called BJ on the same day and pleaded with him to take action, because of the situation. Her father even stated that he was worried about “getting that call one day.” Unfortunately, that day would come sooner than he would ever know. Eventually she was able to get a voucher for a hotel through a domestic violence agency (abusing the system that supports actual domestic violence survivors who are trying to get out of their situation) but was also evicted from the hotel due to her abuser residing with her and the children when he was not supposed to. Other party sent BJ’s son from Modesto to San Jose with her eldest sons’ family. BJ was told the father of her eldest son had just been released from jail the prior week due to drug charges. They proceeded to drive BJ’s 6-year-old child, over 80 miles without a car seat. Other party decided it was in her 2 boys’ best interest to go stay with their grandmothers/family due to her situation. Coincidentally, BJ lived less than 10 minutes from the hotel where she was staying and perfectly capable of taking care of his child and making sure he attended school. Since I’m mentioning the topic of school, his son missed over 100 days of school last school year. He is now in first grade and has attended 4 different schools going on 5 since starting educational journey.

BJ was able to obtain emergency temporary full custody in Stanislaus County where all parties were residing. He went to San Jose to enforce his order, only to be met with discrimination by the San Jose Police Department. Because of BJ’s criminal record, they didn’t want to release his child to him even with a court order. Other party was deemed unfit during mediation by Stanislaus County Superior Court and later by child protective services. Other party was given 2 days to complete a hair follicle test, 30+ days to obtain a mental health evaluation, she was ordered to complete a home evaluation with child protective services and was further ordered to sign up for supervised visits. Other party refused to abide by ALL orders. Instead, she fled to Santa Clara County and refused to return child protective services calls as well as filing contempt of court orders on BJ. Other party was able to lie and manipulate the court into giving custody back to her. She has endangered this child on so many occasions, BJ and his family has lost count. Other party uses and abuses the system to get what she wants. BJ on the other hand completed all requests made by the courts that included a CPS home inspection who also requested an on-the-spot drug test that he passed with flying colors and turned in all certificates regarding self-help during his incarceration. BJ was recently told that Stanislaus CPS never transferred the case to Santa Clara County. In the process of this other party was harassing BJ with the law where he faced further discrimination with the Modesto Police Department. Threatening to kick in his door even after seeing the Stanislaus County order. Later that night BJ was told other parties’ eldest son had passed away due to a drug/alcohol overdose that cause an induced seizure. While living in Stanislaus County, other party was having this 14-year-old child doing liquor runs for her as well as drinking and doing drugs with her. His picture remains to this day hanging in liquor stores. Other party also allowed the oldest son to joyride her car unlicensed and unsupervised. Other party encouraged this type of behavior and has been confirmed by BJ’s son as well as other party’s father. The oldest child never even attended school for the 2024 year per other parties’ mother & father. Apparently, none of the family members were able to get in touch with the other party to get the documents needed to enroll the child in school. The year prior, he had missed well over 100 days of school. Hours after finding out her child had died, she was back at it again. BJ has a video of her and her friends/family toasting with liquor and her 10-month-old daughter sitting on her lap while the Car was in motion.

Other party has a long history of drug/alcohol abuse. She has several arrests for DUI’s, one in which she rolled an SUV off a hill and where the kids car seats were located, would have died had they been present, per other parties’ father. Amongst other various criminal charges. BJ’s 6-year-old son was home alone babysitting his then 6-month-old sister while other party went out, per his son. He was told to lock the door and not open it for anyone. He has also told his father things like “I know what buzz balls are!!! My brother gets them for my mom.” Only further confirming what BJ has been told.

This type of behavior has been an ongoing pattern since BJ’s son was born. There have been times when he was just a couple months old that other party went to jail for threatening her best friend. We contacted the woman only to find out that other party was living with her, and the friend had filed for a restraining order, as well as criminal charges. We were told other party would bring different men to her room and sleep with them (while highly intoxicated) and at times, both kids were in the room. She explained there were numerous times other party would be so drunk BJ’s son would be crying and the friend would be banging on the door and other party would not answer. The friend’s mother was watching BJs son and other party had left him with her for over a week refusing to answer her phone or pick up her child basically, abandoning him. When her friend said that she was going to call BJ, other party threatened to kill her and was later arrested. She’s done this numerous times where she would leave BJ’s son with different people including daycare providers, family members and her friends and refuse to pick him up. When he was around 6 months old other party left to LA leaving the child with BJ’s family. He was so sick, BJ’s mom rushed him to the emergency room and was told he had pneumonia. After being informed by his family, BJ drove to San Jose to pick up his son and called other partying asking why she didn’t take him to the hospital. Her reply was “all they are going to do is send him home with medicine.” He informed her that their child had pneumonia and her response was something along the lines of “I’m in LA and I have a life, deal with it.” At the time, child suffered from severe eczema over the entirety of his body. BJ was able to find a solution that worked for him to keep the eczema under control. Other party refused to follow the solution and every time he came back for visits, he would be miserable covered in red rash. This went on for the first year of his life. As a matter a fact, while going to court, the judge ordered her to follow the solution or risk losing custody.

BJ was told by the other party when the child was around 3 months old other to leave the bottle in the refrigerator and give him the bottle cold. BJ being a first-time father, not knowing much about babies, naively consented. He later found out the reason behind this was because other party was frequently belligerent drunk and didn’t want to have to warm up bottles. Also, because her eldest son would babysit while she went out and the 2 children would be home alone. There have been multiple times she attempted to pick BJ’s son up while intoxicated and without a car seat not only from BJ but from family members as well.

I, BJ, am a concerned father who is simply looking to save my sons life. I’m not usually one to ask for help or handouts, but due to the complexity of the situation, I am begging for support. Due to the manipulation of the other party, the court has granted all custody back to the other party. I am pleading with you to help me in my fight to save my son and give him the life he deserves, and environment that he can feel safe and just be a kid. My son is in no way safe and is in mortal danger in the care of the other party. I don’t want to get a call one day and I refuse to just give in. I’ve exhausted every resource I can think of, and basically, it’s come down to I must get a lawyer. I’ve called the police, filed paperwork, I’ve contacted CPS, and gotten as far as I can on my own hitting brick walls at every turn. Any amount will help my cause to keep my child safe and most importantly alive. Thank you so much for your time.