I just want to start off by saying with each word that I sit here and type, it brings me an immense amount of pain and embarrassment. ‍♂️Never in a million years did I think I would ever be someone that would have to resort to making a Go Fund Me page. ‍ So as I wipe the tears from my eyes and swallow my pride, I'm asking for your help!  

I guess I should tell you a little about myself and my circumstances. For starters, my name is Matthew. I'm almost 34 years old and I'm a full time father of 6 kids. (Before anyone tries to be smart and ask me "do I not know what protection is", only 2 are my biological children. The other 4 are my wife's kids that I raise as my own. Their father is nowhere around.)

I've been with my wife for about 7 years and been married almost 4. I have an amazing family. (Although my wife and kids outside of my mom who is on disability and sister who is barely getting by as well, is the only family I have at all.) I couldn't ask for a better wife or kids. ‍‍‍ (I'll take the time to pat myself on the back for the good kids part lol! ) All jokes aside God has truly blessed me in that department and I couldn't be more grateful.

As someone that went my entire life never knowing my father, being very poor, and having a tough childhood and upbringing... I vowed that if the day ever came I was lucky enough to have a family of my own, I would make sure they NEVER had to endure the hardships that I did, and that I would give them the very best life that I possibly could! ‍‍

I have succeeded in keeping that promise for most of their lives. My 2 kids (both girls) are 8 and 6. My 4 step kids (3 girls 1 boy) are 14, 15, 16, and 17. All 4 have the same dad for you judgemental crowd out there. It seems my wife had a busy 4 years lol! (Sorry, I try to maintain some sort of humor to keep from being more depressed than I already am.) But it seems as if now I will no longer be able to maintain that promise.

Almost 2 years ago I started having alot of back problems. Ones that have resulted in spinal stenosis, osteoarthritis, and severe herniated discs. There are some days I can barely get out of bed. I can't drive. I can't even sit down without being in excruciating pain. You have no idea how helpless you feel when you have to get your 14 year old son to carry your case of water in the house because you ain't able to lift them. 

I'm currently in the process of trying to get my disability and I'm a month away from being 34. Something I never thought I'd be doing til I was in my 60s or so. But nonetheless i have kids to feed so i have been fighting through the pain and trying my best to make a living with odd jobs here and there. I did construction for 10 years, so getting some little side jobs here and there has been my main source of income, and then some stuff online I tried out. 

Everything was going ok. Not anywhere like it was before my injury, but my bills were paid and my kids had what they needed. That's all that ever mattered to me anyway. So I was fine. Then the Coronavirus hit. And that's when thangs really started to take a turn for the worst! My wife lost her job because of it. And the work that I was getting dwindled away to practically nothing! 

So now here we are. After exhausting every option possible over the months with loans, selling our belongings, etc. We have hit rock bottom. We are on the verge of losing our house, our cars, and we have nobody to turn to. Just saying that makes me want break down and cry. But I think I've already cried every tear that I have. And I like to think of myself as a tough guy that doesn't get emotional, and to be honest I can count on 1 hand the times I've cried in my life. But right now I'm as weak and emotionally distraught as I've ever been in my life. But my wife and I neither one has any family. Both our moms are on disability. And we don't really have many friends either (as we never been the type to socialize very much, and like to just keep to ourselves and enjoy our days with each other) and the ones we do have aren't in a position to help us.

I didn't mean for this to turn into a 200 page book about my life history, or to give yall the biggest pity party story you've ever heard. I just wanted to share these things to let you know I'm not just some lazy bum or drug addict looking for a handout. And that if I had anywhere else to turn I wouldn't be here doing this right now. But I literally didn't know what else to do.

So if you could PLEASE find it in your heart to donate some money to help my wife, my kids, and myself catch up on the outstanding amount of past due bills and debt that we are in, and possibly even to get way ahead so that we don't have to worry about being homeless for a little while... I would be forever grateful! ❤ Hopefully once the Coronavirus is gone or contained somehow, our lives can get back on track and once again be able to take care of ourselves. But who knows when that will be. And until then I fear even if by some miracle I can be fortunate enough to get the money needed to catch up, that I'll be right back in the same position a few months later. 

So once again I beg of you to PLEASE make a donation. ANY AMOUNT AT ALL! Every little bit helps. And if you would like to see any type of proof of where the money is going, I would be more than happy to provide that for you. Whatever would help ease your mind. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And God bless you all!

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