Hello friends.

Short version: I’ve just lost my best friend in fur form— my beloved Spike. Dying sucks and is expensive. I quit my job end of March to recover from burnout and pursue opening my own private practice. Hoping to launch in the next couple weeks—the death of Spike is an unexpected cost during a time when I have no incoming profit just yet. Capitalism sucks, death sucks, and I don’t have my little buddy to stick his butt in people’s faces while I do teletherapy. If you can spare a few bucks I’d be beyond grateful.

If you want the extended version of what has transpired, feel free to read-on.

Story time:

Pains me to have to do this because it means my beloved Spikey-boy is no longer in physical form by my side. If you knew anything about me— it was probably how much I loved my feline sidekick. He’s been the best part of my day for 10 years and I couldn’t have asked for a more loving, supportive bestie. From his cuddles, screams for chicken, begging for booty rubs and the most infamous resting bitch face (iykyk)— there will never be another like him.

Spike has been navigating some health issues (damn kidneys) and underwent major testing and an ultrasound in March. Vets were convinced he had only a few weeks left and I about quit my job without notice so I could tend to him. After much stress, labs, and a not great but still promising ultrasound— we had made a plan for Spike and his failing kidneys. Renal food (yuck), at home subcutaneous fluids and daily blood pressure medication became our new norm. And he was thriving! All considering my boy had us thinking he had another year or two in him still. Just last week the vet said meds were working wonderfully and to bring him back in December for follow up.

Come Saturday evening Spike was NOT himself. He was miserable and I cried myself to sleep (barely slept though) and waited anxiously until I could take him to the vet asap in the morning. I held him all night long and promised that I would fight for him, if he wanted me to— but to let me know. Can he overcome this or are we at the end?

Unfortunately, labs were off the charts. I knew then that we had no more borrowed time. We took him home, got him on the good drugs (thanks gaba!) and we had a few friends come by to give him love and send him off well. In his final moments DJ and I got to be there with him while he drifted to sleep. Always my nap buddy— now resting forevermore.

I told him to haunt me.

If you’ve lost a sweet fur companion I bet you can relate to this pain. I know I made the right decision, however selfishly— I miss the hell out of my little dude. Navigating life without him is still very new. Not only is this grief pretty unbearable, but it turns out dying is *expensive*. Spike had spent the entire summer with me while I put together my therapy private practice. I hope to launch end of September/early October which is very exciting (and scary!). The thing about building your own business is you don’t get paid for a good while during the prep and building phase. It will be some time before I fill a caseload and make any profit. Nothing compares to the emotional and spiritual loss of my dear Spike. The financial hit has been another blow (eep). Money sucks and I hate asking for mutual aid when there are SO MANY folks in need. I know the world is on fire and things are rough, so please don’t give if it’s at your own detriment. If you have a few bucks to spare I would be incredibly grateful.

Lots of love from me, DJ, Chula the doggo (and my only ESA left) and last but not least— Spike! Ask him to visit in your dreams, if you like :) just make sure to give him booty pats.

xoxo