Sondra's Goal to Healing Hurt Kids

My name is Faith*. I have been in foster care for over four years—and I was only 8. I have been in over 10 homes including shelters. I went home to my Mom , but her boyfriends sexually abused me and hit me and she forgot to buy me food because she was high and drunk so they took me away on my birthday. I was promised adoption by two families, then they thought I was too much trouble so they gave me away. The second family kept my brothers and my little sister—but not me. I am smart and funny and I want to love a family, but I hurt so much inside I can’t trust anyone to keep me safe. This is Sondra. She is my case manager. She loves me and fights for me and found me a family. She understands because she was hurt, too. It took her a long time to heal so she could help other kids and now she wants to help more kids. But she needs help. This class is really important and it will help Sondra help more kids like me find families they can stay with. - Faith (Profile pic)

My name is Sondra Ajasin. I have worked in the field of Child Abuse and Neglect for the past 8 years. I have been a CASA volunteer, CPS Investigator, Family Based Services Worker, and Adoption Worker. I currently work as a Program Director for a Christian Child Placing Agency where I have licensed  hundreds of family to foster and adopt and have completed around 60 adoptions on my case load alone and assisted in 100's of adoptions.  

Most importantly, I am a SURVIVOR of childhood abuse and neglect.  God is still working on me but if it wasn't for His grace and mercy I would still be a lost and angry child on the inside. I know how hard it is to heal from the trauma of abuse and neglect. I see the pain in children's lives every day at work. I hear the pain in adoptive parents voices as they struggle to help their children heal.

I want to do more to help the healing process by helping to equip families and workers who are in this fight. Foster Care itself is a painful place to be when people give up on you at every turn. Dr. Purvis will give me the tools I need to stop that reevolving door of children moving from home to home because the families are not equipped to handle the hurt and pain that comes along with a traumatized child.

Nick at 8-years-old was in his new adoptive home for over almost 2 years suddenly starts having night terrors, hitting, kicking, and screaming. Adoptive parents struggled to correct his behaviors. Redirection, time out, taking away privileges, finally spankings and nothing worked. After 6 months they drop him off on the door steps of a psych hospital and call CPS. They love him but the struggle to control his behaviors was too much. Tired, hurt, and confused they back off and they never return to pick him up. This family in particular, was dealing with the behaviors based on how they were raised and traumatized function in fight or flight mode when they are in crisis. Parents often feel helpless, alone, and uneducated in this fight. Dr. Purvis trains child advocates to be that light in the darkness. I want to be that light of hope.

Fast forward 3yrs. Nick is now 11 years old. He has been in the psych hospital 2 times and moved through 9 different foster homes. CPS has already labeled him as a child that will age out of care. He tells me that his adoptive parents told him he was "dangerous and bad, so I guess I am." I asked him why he had nightmares and his reply was that of an innocent child who had no voice when he was 8, "I dream of my mom laughing as my dad would have sex with my little sister and she would hit me with a belt buckle if I looked away." I asked if he told anyone before and he said he had opened up after his 2nd stay in the hospital with his foster parents at the time. He said a few weeks later he was moved again. What would Nick's life look like had his approve parents been able to walk with him through his pain and help him heal instead of walking away from him?

I want to create a legacy of trust in these children while in foster care and after adoption. I can do more by getting this training that goes in depth into interventions that are proven ways to minister to the hearts of children.

I am doing this fundraiser to attend Dr. Karen Purvis TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Interventions) training. TBRI® is based on a solid foundation of neuropsychological theory and research, tempered by humanitarian principles. It is a family-based intervention that is designed for children who have experienced relationship-based traumas such as institutionalization, multiple foster placements, maltreatment, and/or neglect. For the past ten years, Drs. Purvis and Cross have been implementing and evaluating TBRI® , and their strategies have proven extremely effective in creating healing environments for children who have come from “hard places.”