Hi! My name is Brenda, and I've found myself in a complicated situation and desperately need help to get my life back on track, not only for my sake, but for the sake of my children.

This is a bit of a long story, and I'm wordy, so I'll do my best to keep it reasonable while still giving details.

A few years ago I went through a divorce and found myself alone and fighting for survival in beautiful Bend, Oregon. I was a stay-at-home mom for 10 years and never had the chance to build my career because together we decided that we didn't want anyone else to raise our children. When my youngest child was old enough for school, I went back to school, too, to pursue a life where we weren't living paycheck to paycheck. That was relatively short-lived, though, because my divorce happened while I was working on my fashion design degree. I don't want to make my ex out to be a villain. We both made mistakes, but in the end, he didn't want anything to do with my career path in fashion design, and I couldn't give up on my dreams or myself again.

My whole family lives 1,800 miles from me and I'm here alone. Sure, I could have moved back to my home state, but that would have meant taking my kids from their dad, and I refuse to even attempt that. This left me with only one option, rebuild my life from nothing. So, while still living under my ex's roof I got a job at Kohl's to build a current work history and get some income in the hopes of moving out. It took a while because I didn't make much and I didn't have a rental history. He was growing very agitated with me, and I didn't feel safe to be honest. I could feel how much he hated me at that time, and when the first opportunity arose for me to move out, I did.

The apartment I managed to secure was far more expensive than I could afford, but at least I felt safe again. It took everything I made working at Kohl's, plus DoorDash, and savings each month just to pay the bills. I worked and still work non-stop.

I tried the best I could to continue with my education but found myself facing the decision of pursuing my college degree or having a home for myself and my children. So, I gave up on my education. I hope to one day finish my BFA in fashion design (I have 2 years left) and then go for my masters so I can also teach.

After my first year at my very expensive apartment, I had exhausted my entire savings on survival and even had to utilize my credit cards to stay afloat. Once my lease was up, I found a new apartment. It's very cramped, but much more affordable.

It was at this time that I left my job at Kohl's, in part because I wasn't making nearly enough money to survive, and also because I was being harassed because I "didn't see the kids enough" and they missed me. Fair enough, but a single parent has to work. I only get $350 a month to help take care of two children. I didn't try to get alimony or anything out of my ex. I didn't want to see him suffer and struggle as I do... It's funny, because he doesn't care at all that I'm struggling to survive and has openly told our children that he won't help me.

At this point, I started DoorDash full-time to pay the bills. It mostly works, but it requires me to work 14 hours every day and juggling of bills to scrape by. My children drive with me after school and on weekends when it's my time to have them. I also clean vacation rentals throughout the month, but it's not steady full-time work. I wish so much that it wasn't this way, but it's hard to come by a regular job that pays enough for me to survive. Even if I managed to find a normal job, I'm still presented with the issue of how I can take my kids to school and pick them up and meet their physical needs while still meeting the requirements of an employer, so I don't get fired. My family is so far, and I don't have help. It's just me.

Recently, I have begun freelancing as a designer and seamstress as well, in the hopes of building that into something sustainable over time. I have gained a few new clients over the last month, but businesses tend to grow slowly, especially when you start from nothing.

My first apartment put me into a lot of debt, and my current situation keeps me there. If that wasn't enough, a couple of weeks ago, my car had developed MAJOR engine issues while I was driving. I had picked up an order to deliver and by the time I had reached two blocks down the road my check engine light came on with a note that said "reduced power to engine". About three seconds later, my brake assist left as I was nearing a stoplight. My brake was so hard that it nearly caused an accident. Thankfully, I avoided it, but that situation also left me without a car to do the job that pays my bills. I got it into the shop, and they said that my camshaft was worn and rotated 6⁰ anterior, and the repairs would be $3,200. I tried literally everything to make sure that this repair was absolutely needed including replacing the solenoids in my engine myself as my car sat in the parking lot of the shop... yeah, they could have done it, but i'm a broke woman and this was more affordable, and i'm not helpless... I do as much as I can myself.

So, now, at this point I have overwhelming debt, barely enough money to survive and no savings, and my car is broken with one of the worst things it could be broken with. To top that off I need new brakes and tires as well. All of this has taken a toll on my mental and physical health as well, and you guessed it, I can't get that taken care of either... yet!

As anyone who has made it this far can see, i'm in a world of trouble and I need so much help. I am desperate to get this turned around so that I can provide my children with the life they deserve. One day this will be behind us and I will be the one helping others, but for the moment I'm in serious need and I wouldn't be reaching out otherwise.

I want to thank each and every person who has taken the time to read my story, donate, or even say a prayer. I am so grateful for any help I receive so that one day I can pay that same kindness forward to someone else who is desperate for help.

You will see that I am asking for much less than I owe. I am not expecting to get debt-free from donations, although that would be so incredible. I am only hoping to get to a point where I'm no longer struggling and can have some savings for future emergencies.

My expenses are as follows:

Urgent:

Car repair- $3200

Brakes and tires- $1,000 (estimated)

Late bills/ late fees-$3,600 (because I haven't been able to work properly)

Upcoming bills: $3,400

Debt:

Taxes-$12,000 (because I don't make enough to hold extra back)

Credit cards- $24,000 ( living expenses from my first year at my first apartment)

Student loans- $24,000 (currently in default because I can't afford to pay them)