Hardworking couple drowning in 'life happens'.

Please. If we meet our goal, we will donate £500 to a deserving rescue. We're hoping someone sees us as deserving of a boost to get back some of what we've lost. I've worked my whole life and always did what was right, even when no one was looking. But life happens and it hurts. 

It seems I made this too long so I'm trying again, heavily edited. This is posted under my husband's name, my name is Naomi. We're private people who just want to live our lives and accomplish the goals we were working towards before our world got ripped apart. We weren't low income but we weren't prepared for this and it's ruined us along with other factors. 

I'm originally from the United States. Simon came home with me in 2010 when he was six weeks old after being dumped in a shelter. He grew my best friend and life. I'd move mountains for that precious heart. In 2016, Simon started to have little seizures about a dozen times a day, barely noticeable. He was diagnosed as epileptic and prescribed Keppra. The episodes stopped and we got on with our lives.

In September 2017, Simon and I moved to England to be with my new husband. This cost a small fortune for visa fees and plane travel for us both so even though my husband worked 60+ hours a week, the bills of us living in different countries was costly and it could have taken years to get me home to him.  So we borrowed £7,750 from someone to cover the costs with the agreement that we pay them back £180 every month bc they knew they would be needing it down the line. This person wants to remain anonymous. They aren't scary or making threats . They are just amazing people who went above and beyond for us and we made a promise that money would be back to them for when they needed it. And we were making good on that promise and sending extra whenever possible, both working part time. Then years of hard labour and care work caught up to me. My hips were out, shoulders injured, back twisted, sciatica, migraines, neck wrecked. I started undergoing chiropractic treatments and that was the only thing that kept my job from asking me to go off sick. I hadn't been there long enough to collect sick pay so they worked with me to make sure I didn't lose income. But the treatments cost £240 a month so we took a break from making payments to our donor or adding to savings. Our savings were intended to pay for my visa  renewal fees in April 2020. 

During this, I lost my mom to metastasized breast cancer that she had kept the severity of hidden. I miss her. And my dad. 

Christmas day of 2019 was perfect, Simon was perfect, full of life. My world was perfect. He got sick the next day. He screamed randomly in pain, fell over, had to be carried everywhere, vomiting, stopped eating, holding the bin for him to vomit bc he wouldn't do it in the house, in and out of the vets, my husband and I calling off work to care for him, not sleeping, syringe feeding him what little he would take and giving him water from a baby bottle.  His bloods and tests were fantastic for any dog, not just a 9 year old. He fought the feeding tube too violently so that option was out. It was at this time I stopped the chiropractic treatments and my pain started coming back bc I hadn't completed them. Our savings was disappearing fast. After two weeks of helplessly watching him suffer, we finally got a specialist referral for Dick White Referrals. They wanted to keep him overnight for an MRI. I originally started this fundraiser to beg for help funding whatever surgeries he was going to need. We borrowed another £2,000 from our amazing donor again. Then the vet called and didn't know where to start.

They found a lesion in his brain... 

It was inoperable...

It caused his brain to swell so severely that his brain was actually pushing out of his skull...

The pressure broke him and he would never be the same...

...He didn't wake up from the sedation for his MRI. 

I didn't have to tell my neighbours. They heard me scream.

My sweet Simon. My sweet boy. My perfect boy. My baby, my life, my heart and soul. I'm so sorry. Mama couldn't fix it this time. You tried to tell me. I am broken and lost still.

He broke the world with his leaving. 

His face when he realised he had to stay that night haunts me every day. He wanted to come home with us. If I knew then what I know now, he would have and I would have spent the night loving him with every second of my heart that had been his since I first looked into those beautiful eyes and will remain his until my last breath.

I haven't come near this fundraiser until today bc I couldn't face the words written here. I couldn't face the details that my memory won't let me forget. I was diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and PTSD after losing him and put on medication for the first time in my life. I ceased to function or leave the house for months except for work after I returned and my husband focused on taking care of me to bury his grief. I was having waking nightmares and rarely slept bc to lay in silence left my brain to relive every life crushing second.

I couldn't cope with the silence he left behind so we made the very emotional decision to adopt another dog right away. I know now that we should have waited. We didn't know how bad and confusing things were about to get in a very short time but I also know that if not for this poor financial choice, I wasn't logical and cared about very little through my grief and my emotional state would have broken without this little hurricane of a dog that needed so much from us. He was severely emotionally damaged and neglected. We prioritised making him healthy and happy. 

Our plans fell apart. My husband's job had been horrible for years, the biggest stressor until Simon got sick, and then they dropped their employees to minimum wage with no chance for increases and doubled their responsibility. They violated his rights repeatedly. We always had a plan to get through my two visa renewals, pay off our donor and then my husband would attend an online course full time while I worked full time. But with his job getting less secure and Covid making everything uncertain - we ended up on isolation three times before the tests were made available. The new dog was NOT coping.  We put our plan into action 2.5 years early.  I'm now full time with over time but our income has dropped £400 a month bc my pain and mental exhaustion has not allowed me to keep up with 60 hours a week but I do 8 days at a time, often many doubles. His course ended up delayed until April 2021 bc the spaces were full. CMS/CSA was coming after us for £450 a week despite that being nearly twice what my husband earned with no explanation of what the extra was coming from and didn't care that they left us with nothing. Appeals were worthless or ignored.

The new dog is doing better, he's healthy now and learning how to feel safe. My employer and coworkers have been amazing. Our donor has been patient and forgiving. We still owe them £5,140 after the last loan.  Dick White Referrals has allowed us to make payments. We still owe them £855.

I'm embarrassed to be doing this. We both are. Where we used to be comfortable financially, we're struggling. Bc we're still paying those bills, money is still tight. We have 54p in our savings and our main account is on life support. We burned through every spare penny and thousands more trying to save our boy, we borrowed money and lost income on missed work being home with him and then mourning him. As an immigrant from America, I'm not allowed to benefit from any public funds via myself or anyone else so my husband can't claim any either or I lose permission to be here. The Covid lockdown has bought us a legally provided grace period here or I would have lost my husband too by now simply bc we can't afford to pay to prove we've met the requirements that allow me to stay. Since Simon's condition was deemed pre-existing and he was a senior by the time I learned pet insurance existed, there was no insurance to fall back on. All of this put us deep in the red. 

I'm asking for help in paying off what we still owe to Dick White Referrals and our amazing donor who knew they would need this money soon but helped us bring our family together. They both deserve that, even if you don't feel we do but I also hope to help us build up the savings we used trying to give Simon his life back. Without this debt,  we could breathe, not wonder if we have enough for food for ourselves (dog will be fed), be financially independent again and it would free us up to save for my next visa extension, to put aside for retirement or even our own home . To have our savings back, even a portion of it, I can't tell you the relief it would be to know that there's a cushion if we need a pair of shoes or the washer finally dies. We don't use drugs, get tattoos or drink at ALL. We do smoke cigarettes. We'd be endlessly grateful for any little bit. If you're caring enough to help or caring enough to want to, even if you can't, please remember my beautiful boy. He was perfection. 

44597704_1578485097397868_r.jpeg44597704_1578485117408767_r.jpeg44597704_1578485135944823_r.jpeg44597704_1578485663337236_r.jpeg44597704_1578485877446125_r.jpeg44597704_1578486168504918_r.jpeg44597704_1578486196868345_r.jpeg44597704_1578486268491387_r.jpeg44597704_1578487604909585_r.jpeg44597704_1578487656331548_r.jpeg44597704_1578484209356132_r.jpeg44597704_1578488976936729_r.jpeg44597704_1601770177643970_r.jpeg44597704_1601770265533501_r.jpeg44597704_1601770335239854_r.jpeg44597704_1601770696650215_r.jpeg44597704_1601770960668057_r.jpegMy Simon, after he stopped eating and being able to walk, his eyes bright with pain and fear. 

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