She Warrior: Help Brittany Keep Fighting Endo!
Donation protected
April 24, 2021:
TLDR: I still need help and have found an incredible 3 month program with in depth coaching, supplies, resources, and accountability that will enable me to take my health back and help me BEAT endo!! I’ve got all the puzzle pieces, but no one to help me put them together. This program is exactly what I need. The program is pricey, but will be worth it. I need to raise $3300 CAD by mid-May to enroll and cover the cost of the program.
Update & Call for Additional Support:
I am so grateful for the continued outpouring of support over the course of this campaign and my healing journey. I know it’s an intense statement but truly, I wouldn’t be here without all of you.
It’s been three months or so since my last update – but with what I’ve been able to accomplish / what I’ve been going through it feels like much more time has passed! I wanted to provide an update on the wings of a call for additional support GIVEN where I am at in my endo journey.
My rehab is going incredibly and I am working at it like it’s my day job (ok, it may as well a part-time gig be because when I do ALL the things I am supposed to I spend 3-4 hours in total doing them – on top of daily appointments and the like). I was given a one time only free sample of botox (it’s not covered by my insurance) by the chronic pain clinic, which was injected into the left side of my obturator interus muscle of my pelvic floor (this has been the muscle really giving me grief lately). It’s really taking effect now and I have made huge strides in my stretching, exercises, ability to walk without as much pain, less cramping/daily pain overall, and the re-aligning of my musculoskeletal system itself (I can actually feel my body changing)!
With the guidance of my chronic pelvic pain doctor, I have been able to start a taper of a benzodiazepine medication following the botox injection. I did not realize how difficult this taper would be (and was informed by my chronic pain doc that they just learned that the type of benzo I am on is actually more difficult to get off of than the street substance heroin…. Woah!). Tapering has set me back in terms of my total recovery (e.g., working towards getting back to work, mental health stability, physical health stability), but I am still engaging in all of my rehab activities even if I can’t get much else accomplished. The withdrawal brings with it: mood instability and drastic mood changes, frustration/being quick to anger, anxiety attacks, feeling more easily overwhelmed, brain fog, forgetfulness, body aches, flu-like symptoms, PTSD-like dreams, trauma and emotional release, and many more. Imagine those drug commercials where they list the side-effects, it’s kind of like that. I never know what the day will bring and I will be tapering until the fall (if I can continue to drop my doses on the schedule I currently am – sometimes the body needs longer to adjust and plateaus can happen).
Here’s a poem I slowly compiled pieces of over a couple of weeks as I was rocked by my taper:
Every Rainbow Needs a Storm
Please be together between blue sky –
whisper & scream
happiness never after.
It almost beat me today.
Will you bring honey sunshine
For
My
Head?
I continue to attend monthly psychoeducational pain groups and see my team members in person at the Chronic Pain Center each month (or more via telehealth appointments often if needed). I have one more pain group available to me once I complete the one I am currently enrolled in.
Where I’ve hit a wall is in the lifestyle and adaptation process to living with endometriosis and chronic pain.
I had this realization that I have SO many pieces of the puzzle, but I don’t have the cognitive capacity, energy, or ability to put those pieces TOGETHER into something that works for me as an individual struggling with endometriosis. I am struggling with the diet component, energy levels, flare ups, hormone issues, and a lot of gut dysbiosis (dysbiosis is a condition in which the gut bacteria become imbalanced, leading to a wide range of digestive disturbances including bloating, diarrhea, constipation, and stomach cramps, among others). I still look 6 months pregnant MOST days, which is destroying my confidence and worsening my pre-existing body image issues. But I know I don’t have to struggle like this – because I’ve found an amazing coach with an incredible multidisciplinary program that is tailored specifically to MY needs as an individual. I’ve been following this woman since the beginning of my journey and have only grown to resonate more and more with her over the last year and a bit I’ve been exposed to her. I feel ready to commit to her 3 month program and have them hold my hand and put the pieces together FOR ME. The program also connects you with a cohort going through it with you, holds you accountable with weekly zoom coaching calls and additional masterclasses. She sends out a package of information, tools, and even proven supplements. This program is the next huge step in my healing and BEATING endometriosis!! It felt like a breath of fresh air when I spoke to her on a discovery call to see if the program would be a good fit for me and if I was ready for it. I haven’t felt so much relief from a call like that in a long time.
The program is based out of the USA so the currency conversion sucks for us Canadians. It will cost $3300 for the 3 month program. This is where I am asking for your help to raise the funds to allow me to join the cohort in June and really take my healing to the next level.
With your help, I will move from surviving endo to THRIVING with endo. I will be well positioned to get back to work again, help others, and pay all of this forward. I will move from being an Endo Warrior to an Endo Empress!
Please Note: If you'd like to read the lengthier version of my story with endometriosis pain, surgery, diagnosis, and now recovery please contact me and I will send it to you.
Previous Update:
Why I Still Need Your Help
The last 4 months since surgery have been filled with frustration, grief, disappointment, denial, and unending tears… but ALSO with laughter, hope, healing, a flickering light of who I truly am shining through and positivity. I am learning about this disease and how to live the best life while afflicted with it. Endo is debilitating before it is surgically removed (and, unfortunately, at unexpected times in the wake of surgery as it is a whole body disease). The issue is that it DOES come back – so the work I am doing now to rebuild a life sustaining MYSELF and not endo is integral. Now that (what could be seen) was removed, I find myself thrust into a new world of recovery. Only this isn’t like breaking a bone and waiting for it to mend and become sturdy again. This is realizing your bones are frail and they could break if you move the wrong way; this is rehabilitation that doesn’t stop in a few months once you can walk well again – this is life long. This is a whole life reset and recreation. I feel mostly positive about this and focus on things in my control, but it still brings me to my knees with grief when I least expect it.
When I spoke with the psychologist at the Chronic Pain Center this week (Jan 22), she (gently) pointed out to me that I was doing too much (even though it was all rooted in recovery). My all or nothing, get it done mentality that served me so well in the past has become a tool that while seemingly positive on the outside, is harming me on the inside. I have been told to slow down, as I am only beginning to learn the tools I will need to employ the rest of my life with this disease. She reminded me that their program is 1 year long for a reason, and that I have quite literally JUST started this month (mid-January). I spent 1 year in debilitating pain and, now, am just over 4 months post-surgery to address SOME of that pain. I was told we will re-evaluate my readiness for work in 4-6 months, although all of the skills I am learning along with appointments and psychoeducational groups I will attend in the meantime will be preparing me for that eventuality.
I see the physical, emotional, and financial strain in my family members, and I feel it in their energies. I want to contribute more but I can’t. And life keeps happening, and different things (both good and bad) keep happening. So here I am, once more, to ask for your help. I never imagined this journey would be like this, would take this long, would demand patience and consistency in the face of setbacks, flare ups, and continuous pain. But I am still up to the task as an endo warrior! I will get through this and I will make it my mission to help as many others as possible through similar journeys.
I am humbled and beyond grateful for the support I received thus far. Your donations have enabled me to travel to Calgary to attend my appointments at the Chronic Pain Center; to afford consistent massage, acupuncture, and pelvic floor physiotherapy appointments; to afford high quality supplements to heal my gut and help reduce the inflammation my body is riddled with; to contribute to weekly grocery shops for nutrient dense fruits and vegetables, amongst other products, to support the dietary changes my body needs; and to fund medical expenses and needs. Unfortunately none of these needs are going away and my ability to work has yet to surface, but I am hopeful I can maintain a good pace in my healing process.
Anything helps, as does spreading the word. I know that times are tough for us all right now and I appreciate your continued support.
While I cannot offer much of myself right now, I am open to offering to those who donate a short, complimentary tarot reading sent to you conveniently in a video. Please contact me at [email redacted] if you would like to “cash in” on this offering.
With all my love,
Brittany
Additional Info:
What the heck is endometriosis and adenomyosis?!
Endometriosis is a chronic inflammatory disease in which cells similar to the lining of the uterus grow on the outside of the uterus (we don’t know why or how yet). These cells can attach to the reproductive system, can cause adhesions, gluing the organs in the pelvis together, and can attach to other organs in the pelvic and thoracic cavity, damaging those organs and their functions. Endometriosis causes extreme and chronic pain (often compared to and described as more painful than cancer!), can cause infertility and, in some cases, organ failure. People with endometriosis are also more likely to suffer from autoimmune conditions, severe allergies, and other physical disorders. Endometriosis is an incurable whole body disease, and none of our organs and systems are left unscathed: Womxn with endometriosis can experience gut and bowel issues similar to IBS, neuropathic pain, sensitized nervous systems, overactive and tight pelvic floor muscles – which extends out to the fascia of the entire body and alters the musculoskeletal system itself! Endometriosis has no known cure and affects 1/10 womxn – this is the same amount of persons with diabetes, and yet very few people have heard of endometriosis. Some of the symptoms of endometriosis include, but aren’t limited to: intense cramps, back pain, bloating, constipation, depression, diarrhea, dysmenorrhea, excessive bleeding, fatigue, headache, heavy menstruation, infertility, leg pain, nausea, painful periods, painful intercourse, painful/frequent urination, pelvic pain, and weight gain.
Adenomyosis is referred to as “endo’s evil cousin” – essentially, it is endometriosis that is found in the muscle layers of the uterus. Unlike endometriosis, adenomyosis is curable – but at a huge cost. During my post-op follow up, my surgeon stated that if I do have adenomyosis there is nothing that can be done other than a hysterectomy because the endo is sitting there causing the muscles to contract all day every day. In itself, this condition is extremely painful and causes severe bloating/distention of the belly, daily constant cramping, and severe low back pain amongst other symptoms.
If you would like to follow my journey, you can check out my various socials here (I try to update as frequently as I have the energy to).
If you or someone you know can help, I ask that you share this with them. And to whoever is reading this right now, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I continue to be infinitely grateful for your time, your kindness, your love, and your support.
TLDR: I still need help and have found an incredible 3 month program with in depth coaching, supplies, resources, and accountability that will enable me to take my health back and help me BEAT endo!! I’ve got all the puzzle pieces, but no one to help me put them together. This program is exactly what I need. The program is pricey, but will be worth it. I need to raise $3300 CAD by mid-May to enroll and cover the cost of the program.
Update & Call for Additional Support:
I am so grateful for the continued outpouring of support over the course of this campaign and my healing journey. I know it’s an intense statement but truly, I wouldn’t be here without all of you.
It’s been three months or so since my last update – but with what I’ve been able to accomplish / what I’ve been going through it feels like much more time has passed! I wanted to provide an update on the wings of a call for additional support GIVEN where I am at in my endo journey.
My rehab is going incredibly and I am working at it like it’s my day job (ok, it may as well a part-time gig be because when I do ALL the things I am supposed to I spend 3-4 hours in total doing them – on top of daily appointments and the like). I was given a one time only free sample of botox (it’s not covered by my insurance) by the chronic pain clinic, which was injected into the left side of my obturator interus muscle of my pelvic floor (this has been the muscle really giving me grief lately). It’s really taking effect now and I have made huge strides in my stretching, exercises, ability to walk without as much pain, less cramping/daily pain overall, and the re-aligning of my musculoskeletal system itself (I can actually feel my body changing)!
With the guidance of my chronic pelvic pain doctor, I have been able to start a taper of a benzodiazepine medication following the botox injection. I did not realize how difficult this taper would be (and was informed by my chronic pain doc that they just learned that the type of benzo I am on is actually more difficult to get off of than the street substance heroin…. Woah!). Tapering has set me back in terms of my total recovery (e.g., working towards getting back to work, mental health stability, physical health stability), but I am still engaging in all of my rehab activities even if I can’t get much else accomplished. The withdrawal brings with it: mood instability and drastic mood changes, frustration/being quick to anger, anxiety attacks, feeling more easily overwhelmed, brain fog, forgetfulness, body aches, flu-like symptoms, PTSD-like dreams, trauma and emotional release, and many more. Imagine those drug commercials where they list the side-effects, it’s kind of like that. I never know what the day will bring and I will be tapering until the fall (if I can continue to drop my doses on the schedule I currently am – sometimes the body needs longer to adjust and plateaus can happen).
Here’s a poem I slowly compiled pieces of over a couple of weeks as I was rocked by my taper:
Every Rainbow Needs a Storm
Please be together between blue sky –
whisper & scream
happiness never after.
It almost beat me today.
Will you bring honey sunshine
For
My
Head?
I continue to attend monthly psychoeducational pain groups and see my team members in person at the Chronic Pain Center each month (or more via telehealth appointments often if needed). I have one more pain group available to me once I complete the one I am currently enrolled in.
Where I’ve hit a wall is in the lifestyle and adaptation process to living with endometriosis and chronic pain.
I had this realization that I have SO many pieces of the puzzle, but I don’t have the cognitive capacity, energy, or ability to put those pieces TOGETHER into something that works for me as an individual struggling with endometriosis. I am struggling with the diet component, energy levels, flare ups, hormone issues, and a lot of gut dysbiosis (dysbiosis is a condition in which the gut bacteria become imbalanced, leading to a wide range of digestive disturbances including bloating, diarrhea, constipation, and stomach cramps, among others). I still look 6 months pregnant MOST days, which is destroying my confidence and worsening my pre-existing body image issues. But I know I don’t have to struggle like this – because I’ve found an amazing coach with an incredible multidisciplinary program that is tailored specifically to MY needs as an individual. I’ve been following this woman since the beginning of my journey and have only grown to resonate more and more with her over the last year and a bit I’ve been exposed to her. I feel ready to commit to her 3 month program and have them hold my hand and put the pieces together FOR ME. The program also connects you with a cohort going through it with you, holds you accountable with weekly zoom coaching calls and additional masterclasses. She sends out a package of information, tools, and even proven supplements. This program is the next huge step in my healing and BEATING endometriosis!! It felt like a breath of fresh air when I spoke to her on a discovery call to see if the program would be a good fit for me and if I was ready for it. I haven’t felt so much relief from a call like that in a long time.
The program is based out of the USA so the currency conversion sucks for us Canadians. It will cost $3300 for the 3 month program. This is where I am asking for your help to raise the funds to allow me to join the cohort in June and really take my healing to the next level.
With your help, I will move from surviving endo to THRIVING with endo. I will be well positioned to get back to work again, help others, and pay all of this forward. I will move from being an Endo Warrior to an Endo Empress!
Please Note: If you'd like to read the lengthier version of my story with endometriosis pain, surgery, diagnosis, and now recovery please contact me and I will send it to you.
Previous Update:
Why I Still Need Your Help
The last 4 months since surgery have been filled with frustration, grief, disappointment, denial, and unending tears… but ALSO with laughter, hope, healing, a flickering light of who I truly am shining through and positivity. I am learning about this disease and how to live the best life while afflicted with it. Endo is debilitating before it is surgically removed (and, unfortunately, at unexpected times in the wake of surgery as it is a whole body disease). The issue is that it DOES come back – so the work I am doing now to rebuild a life sustaining MYSELF and not endo is integral. Now that (what could be seen) was removed, I find myself thrust into a new world of recovery. Only this isn’t like breaking a bone and waiting for it to mend and become sturdy again. This is realizing your bones are frail and they could break if you move the wrong way; this is rehabilitation that doesn’t stop in a few months once you can walk well again – this is life long. This is a whole life reset and recreation. I feel mostly positive about this and focus on things in my control, but it still brings me to my knees with grief when I least expect it.
When I spoke with the psychologist at the Chronic Pain Center this week (Jan 22), she (gently) pointed out to me that I was doing too much (even though it was all rooted in recovery). My all or nothing, get it done mentality that served me so well in the past has become a tool that while seemingly positive on the outside, is harming me on the inside. I have been told to slow down, as I am only beginning to learn the tools I will need to employ the rest of my life with this disease. She reminded me that their program is 1 year long for a reason, and that I have quite literally JUST started this month (mid-January). I spent 1 year in debilitating pain and, now, am just over 4 months post-surgery to address SOME of that pain. I was told we will re-evaluate my readiness for work in 4-6 months, although all of the skills I am learning along with appointments and psychoeducational groups I will attend in the meantime will be preparing me for that eventuality.
I see the physical, emotional, and financial strain in my family members, and I feel it in their energies. I want to contribute more but I can’t. And life keeps happening, and different things (both good and bad) keep happening. So here I am, once more, to ask for your help. I never imagined this journey would be like this, would take this long, would demand patience and consistency in the face of setbacks, flare ups, and continuous pain. But I am still up to the task as an endo warrior! I will get through this and I will make it my mission to help as many others as possible through similar journeys.
I am humbled and beyond grateful for the support I received thus far. Your donations have enabled me to travel to Calgary to attend my appointments at the Chronic Pain Center; to afford consistent massage, acupuncture, and pelvic floor physiotherapy appointments; to afford high quality supplements to heal my gut and help reduce the inflammation my body is riddled with; to contribute to weekly grocery shops for nutrient dense fruits and vegetables, amongst other products, to support the dietary changes my body needs; and to fund medical expenses and needs. Unfortunately none of these needs are going away and my ability to work has yet to surface, but I am hopeful I can maintain a good pace in my healing process.
Anything helps, as does spreading the word. I know that times are tough for us all right now and I appreciate your continued support.
While I cannot offer much of myself right now, I am open to offering to those who donate a short, complimentary tarot reading sent to you conveniently in a video. Please contact me at [email redacted] if you would like to “cash in” on this offering.
With all my love,
Brittany
Additional Info:
What the heck is endometriosis and adenomyosis?!
Endometriosis is a chronic inflammatory disease in which cells similar to the lining of the uterus grow on the outside of the uterus (we don’t know why or how yet). These cells can attach to the reproductive system, can cause adhesions, gluing the organs in the pelvis together, and can attach to other organs in the pelvic and thoracic cavity, damaging those organs and their functions. Endometriosis causes extreme and chronic pain (often compared to and described as more painful than cancer!), can cause infertility and, in some cases, organ failure. People with endometriosis are also more likely to suffer from autoimmune conditions, severe allergies, and other physical disorders. Endometriosis is an incurable whole body disease, and none of our organs and systems are left unscathed: Womxn with endometriosis can experience gut and bowel issues similar to IBS, neuropathic pain, sensitized nervous systems, overactive and tight pelvic floor muscles – which extends out to the fascia of the entire body and alters the musculoskeletal system itself! Endometriosis has no known cure and affects 1/10 womxn – this is the same amount of persons with diabetes, and yet very few people have heard of endometriosis. Some of the symptoms of endometriosis include, but aren’t limited to: intense cramps, back pain, bloating, constipation, depression, diarrhea, dysmenorrhea, excessive bleeding, fatigue, headache, heavy menstruation, infertility, leg pain, nausea, painful periods, painful intercourse, painful/frequent urination, pelvic pain, and weight gain.
Adenomyosis is referred to as “endo’s evil cousin” – essentially, it is endometriosis that is found in the muscle layers of the uterus. Unlike endometriosis, adenomyosis is curable – but at a huge cost. During my post-op follow up, my surgeon stated that if I do have adenomyosis there is nothing that can be done other than a hysterectomy because the endo is sitting there causing the muscles to contract all day every day. In itself, this condition is extremely painful and causes severe bloating/distention of the belly, daily constant cramping, and severe low back pain amongst other symptoms.
If you would like to follow my journey, you can check out my various socials here (I try to update as frequently as I have the energy to).
If you or someone you know can help, I ask that you share this with them. And to whoever is reading this right now, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I continue to be infinitely grateful for your time, your kindness, your love, and your support.
Fundraising team: Endo Warrior Support Team (3)
Brittany Bannerman
Organiser
Lethbridge, AB
Ruby Bannerman
Beneficiary
Kimberly Dowie
Team member
